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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Tell the OWH everything your husband tells you, that your H plans on being with the OW.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653 |
I have been asked not to contact him anymore by my WH, because OWH is volatile. I understand that is most likely wayward babble, but want to focus on getting my WH out of house first. Then, I can contact OWH to see if he knows that A is continuing. The trouble is that OWH always tells his WW that I have contacted him. Next time I will ask him to keep my confidence and bring his WW for a polygraph if he doesn't believe me. You have that backwards. Contact OWH now (today) and then focus on getting WH out of the house. By all means, tell him to pass on your (dis)regards to his WW. She needs to know that you're still in the game! Of course OWH is volatile and a loose cannon. Consider the source of your information. Did you expect WH to say that OWH is a really nice charming guy with a good haircut and nice easygoing manner? Come on, now, get cracking!
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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Joined: Oct 2009
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I have been asked not to contact him anymore by my WH, because OWH is volatile. Of course this is fogbabble, and it's one of the oldest lines in the wayward handbook. I do agree that OWH probably wants to dance on your WH's head wearing spiked shoes, but I wouldn't protect WH from that if I were you. Actions = consequences. You need to be in contact with OWH and keep him up to speed. For all you know, he may have been persuaded by his WW that the A is over. Make sure he knows this is not the case. Keep pushing your WH to move his [censored] out. As long as he's wayward, he's taking advantage of you, hurting you and using your home as a flop house. Don't accept this disrespect.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 274
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 274 |
Wow. I was really pulling for you. So sad to see that your situation isn't progressing.
RTW, you've got to take heed to the advice these experienced posters are giving. You did just enough to unsettle the waywards a bit, then let up. You have to keep up the pressure. Stay in constant contact with OWH! Get him fired up to do something, even if it's just to get you out of his hair. If he's miserable, OW will be miserable. If OW is miserable, your WH will be miserable. Keep up the pressure! Turn the hose on these two rutting dogs!
It's unbelievable that your WH insists he's going to keep staying with you while carrying on his adulterous affair right in your face. The hubris is incredible.
I think the legal system would frown heavily upon him submitting you to that type of abuse. I think you should file for divorce or legal separation and have the courts make him move out of your house. Can you imagine living the way you are for another year-and-a-half? I'm only an observer and I can't imagine it.
Don't lose the momentum, RTW, keep the pressure on and get your WH out of your house. You need to do this for your health and sanity.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 754
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Joined: Feb 2005
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Me-49, WH-51
Married 02/1983 yrs, Sons - 27, 26, 20
1st PA - 1985, 1st known EA - 1992/1993
2nd PA - 06/02 to 11/04
1st D-day - 09/03, D-day 2 - 10/04 D-day 3 05/08
NC e-mail - 11/04- it wasn't real
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