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No....and the silence is deafening. If and when she calls.....besides her being furious....what advice can you give me? Just expect it and you won't be disappointed!  And the lull in the storm is a good time to pray, if you're a praying man...
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I just received a text from WW evil sister, who rumor has it is having her own A, "I pray to god that you didn't bring my parents into this,"
I'm too exhausted to eve respond to her, and it's not about her anyway.
Like its not ok to tell them about WW, but it's ok for WW to lie to parents about her trip to see them, when she's really there to see OM?
Some people have lost their minds...am I right?
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I just received a text from WW evil sister, who rumor has it is having her own A, "I pray to god that you didn't bring my parents into this," "you should praying for your sister instead."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Like its not ok to tell them about WW, but it's ok for WW to lie to parents about her trip to see them, when she's really there to see OM? Do you know if her parents will be trying to prevent her form seeing the OM?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Melody...I do pray for my WW as well as her older sis....they are slot alike. My WW younger sis spent the day with me lending her support and prayers for all involved.
I've not spoken with her parents since exposure this morning. I hope and pray that a parent can have that effect on WW, but that's the great unknown.
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Parents are often one of the greatest exposure targets. I believe there is one FWW here on MB whose family was exposed to and her affair ended that day.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Well.......mount WW just blew! Here's what I can remember from the furry.
What were you thinking? Who all did you call? Its nobody's business but ours.
You ruined my vacation and parents 3 month vacation. I told you I was going away to clear my head. You just want to look like the good guy and make me look bad. I agreed to counseling and give it a try for 3 months and now you've hurt your chances.
I kept repeating all I want to do is save our marriage and that I love you. None of what you are saying is true. Our marriage needs help and I letting the family know what was happening and asked them to support rebuilding our marriage.
If madder is better.......then I just won a gold medal.
She said I screwed up! Please share with me your thoughts!
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Well.......mount WW just blew! Here's what I can remember from the furry.
What were you thinking? Who all did you call? Its nobody's business but ours.
You ruined my vacation and parents 3 month vacation. I told you I was going away to clear my head. You just want to look like the good guy and make me look bad. I agreed to counseling and give it a try for 3 months and now you've hurt your chances.
I kept repeating all I want to do is save our marriage and that I love you. None of what you are saying is true. Our marriage needs help and I letting the family know what was happening and asked them to support rebuilding our marriage.
If madder is better.......then I just won a gold medal.
She said I screwed up! Please share with me your thoughts! This is Spielberg. I mean it's perfectly scripted. This is really nothing new TLA, it's the same wayward story. They all claim nearly exactly the same thing. Hang in there. This is a war of attrition. You just cut off her supply lines. CV
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Tla this is very normal and expected, infact it might get worse before it gets better do not rise to it. Stay calm and no need to repeat yourself tell her once and clearly why you did it. If she gets angrier and angrier I would suggest asking her to call you back when she has calmed down as you do not want to hear any cruelty from her.
Do not give her any reason to justify her bad behaviour. If you cut the call short because she is too angry to be reasoned with all that will do is infuriate her but if you respond in any way she will hold onto any errors you make to justify her actions.
When your WW goes into a rant is literally the equivalent of a kid having his sweets removed.
If she was so sure about how right her A is then why would she get mad? The fact is you hit a nerve. Hopefully a nerve that will make her come out of the A fantasy land with the added bonus that now you can call on a support network to help and be there for you and your marriage.
Virtually ALL Waywards say the same thing at the time of exposure, I have read the phrase " you ruined your chances now" many many times and its the most typical thing a WS says after exposure and it's never true.
BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months
Divorced
Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.
If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.
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Well.......mount WW just blew! Here's what I can remember from the furry.
What were you thinking? Who all did you call? Its nobody's business but ours.
You ruined my vacation and parents 3 month vacation. I told you I was going away to clear my head. You just want to look like the good guy and make me look bad. I agreed to counseling and give it a try for 3 months and now you've hurt your chances.
I kept repeating all I want to do is save our marriage and that I love you. None of what you are saying is true. Our marriage needs help and I letting the family know what was happening and asked them to support rebuilding our marriage.
If madder is better.......then I just won a gold medal.
She said I screwed up! Please share with me your thoughts!
---------------------------------------------------------------
tla, My wife was furious when I exposed it to all of her family. She said; "THIS IS OUR MESS. THEY DONT WANT TO BE INVOLVED. ITS OUR PROBLEM! YOUR NOT WELL! YOU NEED TO SEE A COUNSELOR!"
My wifes EA may not have turned sexual if I had followed MB program of exposure sooner rather than later.
I know that your head is swimming, just STICK WITH THE MB PROGRAM!
Your wife is not mentally stable; don't listen to the addict; stick to the program.
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"Well.......mount WW just blew! Here's what I can remember from the furry." because Storm WW just blew in on schedule. "What were you thinking? Who all did you call? Its nobody's business but ours. You ruined my vacation and parents 3 month vacation. I told you I was going away to clear my head. You just want to look like the good guy and make me look bad. I agreed to counseling and give it a try for 3 months and now you've hurt your chances."   Right out the WW handbook to try and scare the BH to stop exposure. Only the one's not trained in the MB way fall for this tactic. "I kept repeating all I want to do is save our marriage and that I love you. None of what you are saying is true. Our marriage needs help and I letting the family know what was happening and asked them to support rebuilding our marriage." I would of told this only once that why are you mad I only told the truth. If you are embarrased it's because what you are doing is now known. If what you are doing is correct then you wouldn't be bothered. "If madder is better.......then I just won a gold medal."  you couldn't do better She said I screwed up! "Please share with me your thoughts!" With any war there are no guarantees of victory. But you have serverly dammaged the enemies supply lines.
Last edited by TheRoad; 01/06/12 08:35 AM.
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Well.......mount WW just blew! Here's what I can remember from the furry.
What were you thinking? Who all did you call? Its nobody's business but ours.
You ruined my vacation and parents 3 month vacation. I told you I was going away to clear my head. You just want to look like the good guy and make me look bad. I agreed to counseling and give it a try for 3 months and now you've hurt your chances.
I kept repeating all I want to do is save our marriage and that I love you. None of what you are saying is true. Our marriage needs help and I letting the family know what was happening and asked them to support rebuilding our marriage.
If madder is better.......then I just won a gold medal.
She said I screwed up! Please share with me your thoughts! Thats great!!  If there are any other exposures you can do, I would get them done now while the getting is good. You want ot create a PILE ON. Good job!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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She said I screwed up! Please share with me your thoughts! Well done on the exposure! Don't listen to that fogbabble business - it will just make you crazy, trying to figure out wayward logic. My thought? I think you'd really have to worry if she didn't care at all that you exposed. Madder is better.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Great work with the exposure. You hit your target, for sure. All such typical responses from her. Make sure you expose to everyone you have left, and let the exposure do it's work.
When she says that it's over now, you can respond with, "That marriage is over, but we can have a new one, once your affair is over."
Also repeat, "I will do whatever necessary to save our marriage."
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Boy, I bet that took down her hormones a step. Now that she realizes each time she is away from them, they will be wondering if she is having sex with the POSOM. Also I can imagine her brother camped outside the posom's house, Just incase she decides to make a visit.
You did wonderful. I think its hilarious how WS say "I need time to think" BS. She wanted to have sex with the OM and you threw a wrench in it. Hell I would have told her, 'Whats the big deal, you lied, cheated and betrayed me, shouldn't be to hard to lie to your parents about your actions".
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Thanks to all for your support here.....it's priceless.
She sent me another text yesterday that she hoped I was happy ruining her parents vacation. bla bla bla
Today is her 46th bday. I decided to send a large bouquet of flowers to her at her parents place. I wrote "happy bday! The boys and I miss you and I love you with all my heart".
I just thought it would be a gesture that would go a long way and help her realize the great husband and family she's put in jeopardy. Not to mention her parents would see this gesture and continue with their support.
Id appreciate thoughts again about doing this. Thought it'd be a good way to kick off plan A
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Just got a text from her that she got the flowers....it read "that was nice"
Was honestly a little disappointed in the response. I guess at this point I need to lower my expectations a whole lot.
Thoughts plz!?
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Yes--you should lower your expectations. Right now you're working and you're going to have to expect her to be spewing venom. That's Plan A (which I assume you are in).
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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I think the flowers were a great idea.
And the fact you got a nice response while she is very angry is a good sign.
In my opinion your doing all the right things.
What is your plan from this point on? Have you exposed to everyone you need to expose to yet?
BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months
Divorced
Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.
If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.
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