Of course you are entitled to check up every so often to be SURE there is NC, but moderately.

I heard an MB radio clip in which Dr. Harley specifically said betrayed spouses are not to try and look up anything about the OP. It's harmful to recovery. I used to google FWH's OP, too, and it always always took me back a few steps. I would look at her photo on FB and just seethe. Then I couldn't get the picture of the broad out of my mind. I finally just had to stop in my tracks. It's not a magic cure, but it's a step in the right direction.

You're right. Adultery is grossly unjust. A day at a time, determine minute-by-minute that you will not bring it up and change the subject in your mind when it pops up. That may involve changing what you're doing or the immediate environment.

Focus on everything you two are doing this year working toward recovery. There's nothing that can be done about the past. If your H is truly into recovery, he will be a changed man, meeting your needs and avoiding love busters.

I have a device for my computer called Magic Jack. It costs about $50, you can get it from Amazon, and plugs into a USB port. You will be assigned a stateside telephone number and can then call any number in the US for no extra cost. The cost of the device includes the first year telephone service subscription. The following year is about $20. Or, if you never had reason to call the US, I believe you can use Skype and pay-as-you-go to make calls.

In the meantime, you can go into the radio archive and listen to any of the past shows at no cost. It's a great education into marriage, infidelity, and just about anything else having to do with relationships.

And I notice from the "ads" on the right side (can't say they're ads since they're for MB) that they have an Android and an Iphone app for MB radio.

So if you have either of those, go ahead and download it.

Thankyou so much for all your support.

I didn't realise that NC was for me too. For me looking her up is one way to make sure she is not anywhere near me and WS. For some silly reason I feel like if I know what she's up to, then I am one step ahead. I 99% believe him that she is out of the picture (she live in another country so that's a start). He is determined to make us better and I know that if I could overcome this, we could have a great life together again.

I am not going to stalk her from this point forward. Karmarose you are totally right, as soon as I see her picture or read her wall i just want to kill her (and WS) all over again.

I am going to phone the harleys too. I need to stack all the odds in my favour.

Wishing you all a lovely evening. It's early in the morning where i am so, it's a new day x