So welcoming here. LOL

No, I take comfort in the knowledge that statements such as "You are very cruel, manipulative, and dangerous" completely contradict everything ever said to me in person, with the exception of a very narcissistic ex.

I'm not a bad person. I am a flawed human who made a huge mistake. One I will pay for ... forever.

And it still won't be the worst thing that ever happened to me.

We can see why you wouldn't like people who can judge right from wrong. You have not changed a bit since your last marriage. Same game, same rodeo.

A grown woman, a wife, a mother to children ..... why the hell would you subjugate yourself to the humiliation of something so stupid and juvenile as sexting?

This is not filling your marriage's "unmet needs" .


This is irrational and impulsive behavior.

Is something else going on?

Do you drink alcohol?

Not much.

The sexting? Because it made me feel attractive. Something I was missing.

I have a lot of friends younger than me. I know there must be some sort of rule against that too, but it's true.

mfal, the derogatory way you keep referring to "rules" intrigues me. I don't make any rules for your life, nor does this forum. Do you just not like rules in general?

I cannot believe the level of disrespect you are displaying towards your husband.
You seem to think it's ok to flirt with other man. Yes, it's fine, WHEN YOU ARE SINGLE!! You have no business flirting with every Tom, Paul and Harry when you promised love, respect and loyalty to your husband when you married him. That just testifies to you having very, very poor boundaries indeed.

Your continued lying about your EA is another act of total disrespect; your husband now knows that you are sexually and mentally attracted to someone else, he even was spot on in identifying OM, yet you continue to deceive him.

And you wonder why he's not having sex with you? The poor guy is not feeling safe and secure around you!

You need to put the poor ole me act on the shelf and start showing some humility. Listen to the vets here, start being honest and face the consequences of YOUR actions.

You are a very dishonest person who believes you know better than your husband what is good for him.

Let's take that one step farther: all these other people inextricably intwined in your relationship with OM that would be hurt by total exposure, you think you know what's best for them, too.

You walk though life making summary judgments about what's good for others and what's not. In reality, you are incredibly selfish and control information for this explicit purpose:


to hide your true character behind your manufactured reputation (props to NeverGuessed for this genius quote).

And you have the nerve to call your ex narcissistic.

Go take out a loan and buy a clue, mfal.

Are you attractive? Are you unattractive?

Nothing would make me feel less attractive than sexting.
Free porn for a stranger?
No thank you.

They are addicts, of course. Dr H says adultery is analogous to (actually, a type of) addiction.

Do you know the mean number of times an alcoholic undergoes treatment? Two. It is more than two for narcotic addicts.

It should not be unexpected the average adulterer will show up here more than once.

Just reading this one�s excuses, equivocations and rationalizations - she is an addict.

Oh, and her H sounds clinically depressed.

This one's best hope is to talk to the counseling center in person.

eta: sorry - this is growing faster than I can keep up.

Yes, Melody is right. You have to cut yourself off from other man friendships or you will remain in the "affair fog".

Physical or not, it is still an affair. You said YOU were the one with the problem around the OP. Well, then you can't allow yourself to be around him EVER again. If I ever see my POSOM again, it will rekindle all the old feelings. This is why I can't even look at his FB page or google or anything. Your body is chemically keeping you in affair fog.

Really think about what you can do to get your husband to respond to you. Have you threatened to leave? After my husband found out about my affair, he said I should have hit him over the head with something to get him to meet my needs. Your husband would prefer a threat of leaving to your affair continuing. It's sad how he's not meeting your needs. I don't believe he's meeting your EA's either. If he was, then all you'd need to do is sleep around to get your SF needs met. See what I mean? I am NOT advising this. I am just trying to make the point that I don't think your husband is meeting a lot of your needs. It's always more complicated than just one need not being met.

You need to figure out how you're going to get your husband to RESPOND to you!

She's not addicted to this forum, is she?
I'm confused.
Again.

Exactly.

No wonder he doesn't want sex with her.

I was referring to the rules other people must have in their lives that I was never privy to ... like, flirting has no place in marriage. I'm sure many of you have rules about porn. I don't. I don't care if he looks. He doesn't care if I look. But I'm pretty sure that someone here will instantly say that neither of us should ever look at porn again, because that's in their rule book.

I am married to an incredibly amazing man. Friends of ours see it. They see what we have. They see the way he looks at me. I can easily say that I'm a very happy person, very content with where I am in life. I want for one thing. And I want it from him. And for everyone that thinks I'm a lucky woman, there are just as many who know that he's a lucky man. I am not without my faults, but I have a few good qualities as well. We are perfect together. On the outside, no one would know what is missing. I know what's missing. And I want it back.

She's flirting to get her husbands attention.

And I agree that it sounds as if her husband is clinically depressed.

Are you aware of how ridiculous you sound?

Friends of all ages are fantastic.
I have friends in their 80's and friends in their 20's.

I sext none of my friends.
Such behavior is too humiliating and self-derogatory for any self-respecting woman.

Are you seriously saying that you DON'T see a connection between you watching porn and thinking about sex all the time?

And you DON'T see the connection between your husband watching porn and loosing interest in being intimate with you?

Seriously take 10 seconds to thing about it, the connection should hit home soon......

Anything???

mfal, I repeat my suggestion that you need more help than this forum can offer alone, and I encourage you to take advantage of the opportunity to talk to Dr. Harley for free.

He's definitely depressed. Again, I've tried getting him to see a doctor AND a psychologist. I have tried and tried.

And everyone cheerfully skipped over the part where I mentioned that he flirts too. My girlfriends flirt with him. His female friends flirt with him. I don't have a problem with it because I know he's attractive and I know he's mine.

If he has a problem with his friends flirting with me, or me flirting with his friends, or with my female friends (in fun) then he has a responsibility of telling me that. Because in ten years, he hasn't.

Please send your husband here so we can warn him of the impending train wreck of your marriage. He deserves better.