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Did you think that, unlike what we tell every single other poster to ever come to this board, that NC just wasn't necessary...
for only you???
NC is the very cornerstone of R. Without it, the whole building will collapse.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Let's see . . .
-You engage in independent behavior.
-You proudly maintain relationships with male friends.
- You are a self-proclaimed very sexual woman who constantly reminds her husband that he's not meeting your needs -- specifically, your sexual needs.
- You engaged in an emotonal affair. You told your husband about the emotional affair, but refused to identify your affair partner even though he wanted to know. He correctly guessed the identity of the affair partner and you lied about it.
- You are openly living a lie with your husband and refuse to give him pertinent details about his life (rest assured mfal, he KNOWS the identity of your paramour . . .).
- You are at wits-end in trying to come up with answers about why your husband doesn't want to engage in SF with you.
Don't know your husband; he may be very different from me. However, if you looked like Angelina Jolie and treated me the way you're treating him, it's likely the only occasion I may be able to rise to would be to puke in your shoes. Harsh, but I see what you're saying. The way I act now is the way I've acted since he met me. We dated for years before marriage. I never wanted to change him. He never wanted to change me. The only thing that's changed is his sex drive. I still find him very attractive. Neither one of us has let ourselves go. Nothing else in our relationship has gone south. I am deeply in love with him -- THAT is why it didn't become a PA. He is deeply in love with me. It would shatter him if I had a PA. I'm told to talk to him about it, and I have. But then, I'm what, rubbing his nose in it? Honestly, I've known for a long time that it's a losing fight. If I don't bring it up, I'm simply neglected. If I do bring it up, it hurts him. Lose-Lose. The waning sex drive was an issue long before I met the OP. I've not had issues with sexual advances from other male friends. Flirting has never been an issue between my husband and I. It has never escalated. Sigh.
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I have a hard time believing this is your first affair with such a profoundly dishonest attitude like that. I know you would not hesitate to lie to board members if you felt it was expedient. You will believe what you want to believe. I have nothing to gain by lying here. You have stated before that you will lie if it is expedient, so we have no reason to believe you. You lie to those you love, so it is not hard to see that you would lie to strangers on the internet. You view lying as a valuable tool to manipulate people. Thanks to those who tried to help, but I don't see any kind of cure being offered for the underlying symptoms. People whose needs are being met don't cheat. That's what I heard. This is nothing more than blaming the victim. You are the rapist who says he rapes because his victim wore provocative clothing. You are doing nothing more than attempting to change the subject.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Is this a GBCW post?  More of a white flag. Do we joke about suicide here? I wasn't informed. :l 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You're all right. I am looking for a way around the NC part.
Long story short, this person is in my life.
I won't chop off my arm because I have a splinter in my finger.
I will do what I can to minimize contact, and continue to explore every avenue to get my husband to fulfill my needs.
Thanks for your patience. I do wish everyone well with their personal journeys.
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mfal, Please contact the moderators about the use of multiple aliases: A user from the IP XXXXXXXXXXXX has logged in to the following accounts: ex_princess, mfal
Our Terms of Service state:
You agree not to create multiple usernames for deceptive purposes.
Thank you, Fireproof
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Oh yeah, forgot this one:
-You openly flirt with other men, including your husband's friends, in front of him, then think it's funny and cute when they joke with him about it.
Believe it or not, once a man is emotionally involved, he sees well beyond the physical appearance, especially in regulating his sex drive. The picture you paint here is of a decidedly-unattractive woman.
There is no way I would live with a woman who emasculated me the way you're emasculating your husband. I don't see how he does it.
Last edited by OldWarHorse; 01/11/12 01:14 PM.
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Thanks to those who tried to help, but I don't see any kind of cure being offered for the underlying symptoms. People whose needs are being met don't cheat. That's what I heard. mfal, did you see my suggestion that you talk to Dr. Harley, personally, for help, and how you can do so? I saw your post that both of you flirt openly with other people, and have since the beginning of your marriage and before. Really, what you guys have is a form of open marriage. Not sexually open, but pushing the boundaries and open to the meeting of other intimate emotional needs. And probably open to some forms of sexual need meeting that don't go "too far." You guys really do need professional help from the best, probably more help than this forum can offer, and I strongly suggest that you talk to Dr. Harley himself. If Dr. Harley can help people put together a plan to fix an open marriage (and he has done this!), then he can help you guys in yours.
Last edited by markos; 01/11/12 01:14 PM.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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"I will not chop off my arm to get rid of the terrible infection of flesh-eating bacteria that will kill me before long."
That's what you're really saying. This is not a splinter. A whole tree fell on your BH.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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I do, too. She pulls no punches. There's not any ambiguity as to what she really believes. And she cares.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Like I suspected, this is not her FIRST RODEO. She had an affair in her last marriage and justified it by blaming her husband. This is her pattern. She wrote this in 2001: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You are right - it benefits no one to read about how happy WS's are with their boy/girlfriends. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is not the first time we've butted heads. http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=34&t=002757 I had an abusive husband. I had an emotional affair.I ended my emotional affair and tried to work things out with my husband. He refused to admit any wrongdoing. He wanted me to let him have a physical affair because of what I did. Heck, he wanted me to watch and participate. I left my abusive husband. I found out he was having an emotional affair and details of how they were going to meet and make it physical. Perhaps they did. I started dating before the divorce was final. If you want to call me a WS because of it, that's fine. There were a LOT of times I could have had a physical affair and didn't. I'm not looking for a pat on the back for that. But, life after divorce is not all doom and gloom for everyone. I don't even know why I feel I have to respond and defend myself. I think I'm suffering from the emotional tidal waves too ... [ October 23, 2001: Message edited by: Princess Buttercup ]
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Your husband has every right to know the identity of the man threatening his marriage.
AND you have already shown weak boundries around this man....so therefore it should be up to your HUSBAND to make sure you are not around him.
You cannot be the one in charge of deciding how much contact with this preditor is OK for your marriage.
This man (OM) is a piece of garbage. Why are you protecting him?
There is nothing cute about a guy who invades a "close family friends" marriage.
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I ended my emotional affair and tried to work things out with my husband.
[ October 23, 2001: Message edited by: Princess Buttercup ] Nothing has changed in 10 years, except the HUSBAND. She is using the exact same justifications today she used with her last husband 11 years ago. She has learned NOTHING.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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She is using the exact same justifications today she used with her last husband 11 years ago. She has learned NOTHING. What's curious to me is .... WHY do waywards return and post their dilema to MB forums when MB was not implemented the first time they went to the rodeo? Huh?
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She is using the exact same justifications today she used with her last husband 11 years ago. She has learned NOTHING. What's curious to me is .... WHY do waywards return and post their dilema to MB forums when MB was not implemented the first time they went to the rodeo? Huh? She is fishing for VALIDATION. She has never been interested in Marriage Builders and doesn't have the slightest idea what it entails. mfal, are you from the TOW board on gloryb.com? Nellie mentioned that on your thread from 11 years ago. Is that where you are from? It would explain why you have such a fogged out wayward mentality. It is clear that you believe that dishonesty and adultery are entitlements for you to use when expedient for your own selfish reasons. You are very cruel, manipulative, and dangerous.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Perhaps there will be an edit ?????? 
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When I first came here, I was foolish enough to use an ID that I had used on other sites, and people from "real life" found me. That wasn't pleasant. :l
MelodyLane, you could read all 145 pages of posts from as much as 11 years ago and still not have a clue as to the depth of what I have survived.
What's going on NOW and what was happening THEN are completely different. I have a hard time respecting judgmental, name-calling people.
Life has been difficult. I refuse to believe that a sexting scandal is the end of the world. Maybe if I were a politician, but not this. Not me. Not today.
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The way I act now is the way I've acted since he met me. Wow! Caveat emptor, huh? The old "he knew what he was getting" defense? It is amazing how clueless you are.
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