It's my own fault but I decided I didn't want to announce to everyone about my H's night of indiscretion. I don't know why I want to protect him and his reputation but I'm trying to forgive him and I guess I'm afraid if others knew what he did they wouldn't be able to forgive him and they would look at him in a different light and I don't want that either. Pretty much everyone we know thinks of my H as a sweet, caring, honest person. He is one of ten kids and I am close to three of his sisters. He has a brother who is going through a divorce and cheated on his wife. Everything they say about him and how they feel about him makes me want to scream! THEN they compare him to Chris and how lucky we all are for that not to happen to us. AAAHHHH talk about having to stick a sock in my mouth. Another kicker in this whole thing is that my friend is married to my H's brother (another brother) my friend's sister is the OW. So, they also talk about her and how nice she is which also makes me want to scream. Should I hold my tongue and keep this secret or should I spill the beans so I don't feel like I'm going to burst. Someone HELP ME!!!<P>

Why do you think you need to tell them?<P>Perhaps another issue is that they (family, freinds) shouldn't be talking about this other couple in the manner that they do, and thus you shouldn't be participating in those conversations.

telling them only brings you down to their level.<BR>beleive the 3 seconds of self-satisfaction will never equal the feelings after you would tell. I wanted to tell the OM wife- and still do sometimes- but i know that it wouldn't be right.<BR>the thing that helps me, is when i get those feelings, I write them down and burn them. they leave, beleive me.<BR>good luck.

Thanks Nonplused and Covenant,<BR>You're both right! It's just a momentary feeling. I guess its terrible but sometimes it makes me mad that everyone thinks my H is so sweet and wonderful, same about the OW. I'm only going to make things worse by using my anger. I need to vent another way like writing down my thoughts and burning it then...Very good ideas. Thank u!!!