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She's already looked me and the counselor in the eyes and admitted it. She says she's pondering whether the marriage is what she wants.
I'm just feeling like I gotta let her go and see what it's like without home and family.
As I said, I wanna seek counsel with as many people as I possibly can, including the fine folks here. I'm also not going to make any rash decisions and have not yet determined a time frame.
She said shed give counseling 3months, so maybe that's my endpoint.
As I said, I'd appreciate all view points and thoughts......thank you all!
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If she were serious then it wouldn't matter how long counseling took. The 3 month garbage is just so she can go around telling everyone that she tried to work things out.
You said it yourself...you're being severely played, and you know why?
Because she knows you'll let her
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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She's already looked me and the counselor in the eyes and admitted it. She says she's pondering whether the marriage is what she wants.
I'm just feeling like I gotta let her go and see what it's like without home and family.
As I said, I wanna seek counsel with as many people as I possibly can, including the fine folks here. I'm also not going to make any rash decisions and have not yet determined a time frame.
She said shed give counseling 3months, so maybe that's my endpoint.
As I said, I'd appreciate all view points and thoughts......thank you all! I got the "go to counseling for three months while I figure this out" routine. It was three months longer in her affair. I didn't go to counseling by the way. I plan A'd her to death. CV
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So tiger.......do I start making a plan for her to get out while she "decides"?
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Sounds like she's already "decided", so what do you think? I mean, tla, this woman went and hooked up with her OM right smack dab in the middle of exposure.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Oops...didn't mean to submit so quickly. Have you verified this contact with her friends yet?
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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I have not spoken with them personally yet. However, I overheard her talking on the phone to one of best friends about it who did go It was a leadership award trip and told her that she was sorry that she missed it, and asked her who all made trip.
Had she actually been there, she would not have been asking that question or making that statement. Just putting 2 and 2 together.
I'm planning on making a call to see if anyone saw her. It's not a large group, so if the WW was in fact there for any period of time, they would have known
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So what's the delay on calling?
(patiently tapping fingers next to keyboard)
Look, you are wasting seriously valuable time when there is none to waste.
GET TO WORK NOW, CONFIRM IT'S TRUE, THEN RE-EXPOSE!!
(or do you enjoy being cuckolded? Yeah, I just attacked your manhood so do something about it)
Oh, and while you're at it, buy new locks and be prepared to use them. I know I could be wrong, but I'm quite sure Celtic's not.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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GET TO WORK NOW, CONFIRM IT'S TRUE, THEN RE-EXPOSE!!
(or do you enjoy being cuckolded? Yeah, I just attacked your manhood so do something about it) t/j Wes, you're doing great with our posters. Keep it up. end t/j.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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MBliss, thank you! That really means a lot!
I was actually beginning to wonder if I was spewing bad info and advice after spending so much time devouring the MB concepts (which I truly do embrace, btw).
Very much appreciated!
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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The only thing I'm waiting for is tomorrow, then a visit with my attorney on Tuesday. I just want to get all my ducks in a row and have all the facts in black and white. Then have her pack her bags. Am I all good?
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So what do you plan to do tomorrow?
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Try to get ahold of the women who were there, and check to see if WW was there or not.
Then call WW parents to make sure what I heard from WW brother.....that they said that she had to attend a confirm. In tuscon.
Talk with attorney on Tuesday and know my legal options. Then at that point, tell her she's going to have to find a place to stay because there have been too many lies and that screwing another guy has consequences!
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Well, I think you know the answer to the first question, even though it's unverified at the moment, so let's go from there.
How is she financing all this? Have you separated your accounts and closed all joint credit card accounts. Who's the bread winner and where is all the cash coming from? If from you, cut off ALL streams of income for her. Shut it down tomorrow first thing.
I'm deadly serious about this. WW's can do some wicked things (no offense ladies) when it comes to financing their magic carpet ride.
Protect your finances right now. Period...the end!
Your wife has temporarily lost her mind in this fantasy. Do NOT let her make you lose your mind(and financial security) because you failed to protect yourself.
Do it tomorry....first thing.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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We have a joint account and she has her business account. Will the bank allow me remove her from the joint account, which is solely my income?
Also, I'd like some input on how to tell her I don't want her in the house anymore.
I know plan a is long term, not short term.....but after hearing from friends, she says she wants to move on with OM. Of course she doesn't tell them that, that we've had problems for years and she just can't take it anymore....YADA YADA YADA
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We have a joint account and she has her business account. Will the bank allow me remove her from the joint account, which is solely my income?
Also, I'd like some input on how to tell her I don't want her in the house anymore.
I know plan a is long term, not short term.....but after hearing from friends, she says she wants to move on with OM. Of course she doesn't tell them that, that we've had problems for years and she just can't take it anymore....YADA YADA YADA Clean out your joint account. Open a new account AT A DIFFERENT BANK and put your funds there. Leave just enough in the joint account so that you can't be accused of taking all the money. As far as telling her? TELL HER. Tell her that her continued abuse of you is too much for you to deal with. Tell her that, as long as she continues to carry on her affair, she will have to leave your marital home.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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I don't know how it works where you live, but here, you can't even remove YOUR name without HER permission. My WH was trying to get off of the joint account, and he needed me to sign paperwork to say that it was okay.
Do as MB suggested and open yourself a new account. Ensure that whatever bills, etc come out of the joint account, and are your responsibility, are changed to the new account. Get your paycheck into the new account.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Ditto. Did you confirm today, and if so, re-expose?
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Actually have not been able to get ahold of the woman yet to reconfirm.
Spent most the day in the hospital with blood clots in my leg. It started hurting shortly after dday. Called my doc and sent me to the hospital. After scan.....off to infusion therapy.
WW really showed little concern which was really my wake up call. Being in the medical field, I knew that it could have potentially been very serious.
The body is an amazing organism and I'm sure the mental and physiological trauma played a part.......how can people be so cold?
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Oh man, so sorry to hear about that. Yeah, that can be very bad if not treated properly and quickly. Sheez, as if you didn't have enough to deal with. WW really showed little concern which was really my wake up call. Not sure what to say to this. Does she even realize just how dangerous something like this can be? Okay, I hate to be blunt, but I'm going to be. Ask yourself this question: Do you think this woman could ever seriously have your back?? Do you think she has it in her to ever have YOUR best interests at heart and not just hers? Do take the advice of the ladies above though. Clear out that joint account and open another account with a different bank tomorrow. If you can't physically get there then call them, explain the situation and see what you can do from bed. (I don't know what your mobility is like so...)
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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