I understand how hurt he is. Is time the only cure?

What your H did was very wrong.


No, the answer lies in the PLAN, which you have both resisted to implement with numerous "but's".

What your H did was very wrong.


No, the answer lies in the PLAN, which you have both resisted to implement with numerous "but's".

I don't understand.

Thanks everyone. Through a good punch, Now I will get "back in my stable to shovel better".
Our fifteen hours could certainly be better. I guess I was thinking that all time was quality together, but I guess if the kids are around it creates a disturbance. So I guess on the weekends I should make plans to do something like movies, an event, or just a hike.
what else can you do with limited $$$?

Picnics, back rubs, board games, you can do stuff like "getting to know you games", etc.

That 15hrs really needs to be a minimum of 20 at this point.

Why don't you take drives in the country? We always do that. Good opportunities to talk...

CV

I am a lost for words right now. My H went to the bar Friday alone (way out of character for him) while I was at work

My husband and I do a number of things for a cheap date:

1. Go to a free art museum at the university
2. Take a five mile walk around the town on a sunshiny day
3. Window shop in the mall - sample the lotions, smell a perfume or a cologne on each other.
4. Hot chocolate and french fries date.
5. Get a $1 video rental at the store and wait until son was asleep to watch (when he was younger)
6. Read a good book together - take turns being the reader
7. Read Scriptures together
8. Attend a free recital at the university, or a concert at the high school - might cost us $10 total for the concert tickets depending on whether it's a solo recital or a choir/orchestra/theatrical performance.
9. Take turns cooking a theme dinner for each other. Go to the thrift store for any costumes or table decor needed with a maximum $5 budget - see how creative we could be. You'd be surprised what some rice, ham and pineapple, or hamburger and fresh vegies can be made into...

Necessity doesn't negate creativity!! No excuses!

Poster: senninpaswife
Subject: Re: Senninpa's wife here the WS

Thanks everyone. Through a good punch, Now I will get "back in my stable to shovel better".
Our fifteen hours could certainly be better. I guess I was thinking that all time was quality together, but I guess if the kids are around it creates a disturbance. So I guess on the weekends I should make plans to do something like movies, an event, or just a hike.
what else can you do with limited $$$?

Liz8520 had originally posted this over in the Creative Affection section, and it's fantastic! I thought since it had been 1.5 years since it had been posted, that a reminder in a more visible forum might help some folks. I'm printing this one out for myself, too!

175 ROMANTIC THINGS YOU COULD EASILY DO
-By Doug Fields

The strength of your marriage depends on the choices you make to improve it. Unfortunately, many couples have lost the spark they shared before they married and have replaced it with a humdrum routine. Dating and romancing your spouse can change those patterns, and can be a lot of fun, but will require some hard work. Planning and energy are imperative for making good times happen.

Is it worth the trouble? I'm convinced that the lack of dating and romance in marriage is one of the major causes of broken relationships. Marriages usually don't collapse overnight. They become bankrupt gradually because they lack daily deposits of love, communication and affirmation.

[Below are a number of ideas that could help you in your romantic expression with each other.] A few of these ideas may be too outrageous for your style. That's okay. Read the ideas, shake your head in wonder, and mutter, "Some people are really bizarre." I developed this list with the hope that each couple would add to or subtract from it in order to meet their individual ideas. You may find the outrageous ideas are helpful in stretching your imagination and pushing you toward becoming more creative.

Now—for the ideas! Here they are:

1. Sketch your dream-house floor plan and talk about the possibilities for each room.
2. Take a bath or shower together.
3. Write the love story of how you met. Get it printed and bound.
4. List your spouse's best qualities in alphabetical order.
5. Tour a museum or an art gallery.
6. Park in a secluded area and kiss in your car.
7. Make your own movie scene—stop and kiss on a bridge as the sun is setting.
8. Place great emphasis on the little changes she makes concerning her appearance.
9. Give your wife a bath and wash her hair.
10. Float on a raft together.
11. Take a stroll around the block.
12. Take your wife away from the kitchen while she's cooking, and "sauté" her with kisses.
13. Bring home foods she loves to eat but won't buy for herself. (Don't do this if she's dieting!)
14. Give each other a back rub.
15. Rent a classic love-story and watch it while cuddling under blankets.
16. Give your spouse a body massage.
17. Walk through model homes and dream about your next house. Steal a kiss in a closet.
18. Stroll around a nearby lake.
19. Sit in front of the fireplace and talk.
20. Read to one another in bed.
21. Take a horse-drawn carriage ride.
22. Turn the lights down during dinner.
23. Make a surprise call to your spouse while you're out of town (in addition to your scheduled calls).
24. Play music in your bedroom.
25. Go swimming in the middle of the night.
26. Shave your wife's legs.
27. Shave your husband's face.
28. Write a poem for your spouse.
29. Run through the sprinklers on a hot day.
30. Remember to look into your spouse's eyes while she tells you about her day.
31. Make up nicknames for each other.
32. Go the extra mile to please your mate.
33. When you're the one who's correct during a discussion, give your spouse a kiss. Focus on your love rather than who's right.
34. Tell your spouse, "I'm glad I married you!"
35. Fulfill one of your spouse's fantasies.
36. Hug your husband from behind and give him a kiss on the back of the neck.
37. Stop in the middle of your busy day and talk to your spouse for 15 minutes.
38. Create your own special holiday.
39. Place your hand on your spouse's leg when you're riding in the car.
40. Send your wife a compliment through one of her friends or colleagues.
41. Ask for an isolated booth in a restaurant.
42. Become your spouse's cheerleader when she's had a terrible day.
43. Tell your wife, "I love you because…" (Finish the sentence.)
44. Show your wife affection while she's talking to one of her friends.
45. Sleep in a sleeping bag together.
46. Do something your spouse loves to do, even though it doesn't interest you personally.
47. Go horseback riding on the same horse.
48. Photocopy a newspaper cartoon and write your own romantic caption.
49. Write out romantic notes and leave them in places your spouse will find them.
50. Cut out romantic photos from magazines and write your own messages on them.
51. While driving, pull over for scenic sights and get out of the car to enjoy God's creation.
52. Write your spouse affirming love letters.
53. Mail your spouse love letters instead of leaving them in the house.
54. Feed ducks together (you can feed any type of animal as long as it's not a house pet—the idea is to get outside together).
55. Build a snowman together.
56. Watch the sun come up or go down.
57. Go fishing together with only one pole.
58. Sit on the same side of a restaurant booth.
59. Spontaneously spend the entire day together away from the house.
60. Picnic by a pond.
61. Give your mate a foot massage.
62. Put on perfume or after-shave before going out.
63. Go Skinny-dipping.
64. Develop a code word for sex that you can use when you're a part of a crowd.
65. Buy your husband or wife a new outfit.
66. Sing a song to your spouse.
67. Let go of helium balloons and watch them race each other out of sight.
68. Buy her a stuffed animal.
69. Write "I love you" in the dust around the house instead of complaining about it.
70. Set up a surprise manicure, hairstyling, or mud bath appointment for your spouse.
71. Put together a puzzle on a rainy night.
72. Read a romance novel together.
73. Rent a boat.
74. Take a train ride.
75. Ride bikes in the rain.
76. Read poetry to one another.
77. Build sand castles on the beach
78. Take a moonlight canoe ride.
79. Make your spouse a greeting card.
80. Swing together on a playground.
81. Go for a midnight dip in a hot tub.
82. Give your wife a balloon bouquet.
83. Plant a tree together in honor of your marriage.
84. Make heart-shaped pancakes and serve them to your wife in bed.
85. Bring home flowers.
86. Surprise your wife when she's busy by saying, "What can I do to help?"
87. Take a hot-air balloon ride.
88. Walk through a housing construction site and kiss each other in each of the houses.
89. Count the stars.
90. Prior to a "work day" at home, hide gifts for your spouse in places where they'll find them.
91. Bring a late-night snack and drink to bed.
92. Order different kinds of food at a restaurant.
93. Whisper something romantic to your spouse in a crowded room.
94. Have a candlelight picnic in the backyard.
95. Play tennis at night under a full moon using no lights.
96. Develop a weekly dining spot to meet for lunch.
97. Share a long piece of licorice without using your hands.
98. Make cookies by candlelight.
99. Unscrew the table-light bulb at your restaurant booth to dim the lights.
100. Put perfume on your bed sheets.
101. Leave encouraging notes for your spouse that he will find at different times through the week.
102. Put on old clothes and go out and play in the mud together and then shower together.
103. Hold hands while roller skating.
104. Write out 50 reasons you're glad to be married to your spouse.
105. Tickle-wrestle in bed.
106. Go on a walk together and pick flowers.
107. Put an "I Love You!" message in her lunch.
108. Place a rose on her pillow.
109. Set candles above the bed (carefully!).
110. Serve breakfast in bed.
111. Hide small gifts that your spouse will find throughout the week.
112. Sit and listen carefully to one another.
113. Tuck your wife into bed, read her a goodnight story (or scripture) and kiss her on the forehead.
114. Remember how you used to laugh at things he thought were funny? Do it again.
115. Write a song for your spouse.
116. Go for a walk barefoot.
117. Go kite flying.
118. Splash each other.
119. Spend an entire day in the "middle of nowhere".
120. Dance in your candlelit living room.
121. Walk on the beach.
122. Play a board game by the fire.
123. Reminisce through old photo albums.
124. Go away for the weekend.
125. Go for a moonlit walk down a street of beautiful homes.
126. Rub feet under the table.
127. Kiss in crowded area.
128. Sit on his lap even when there's sitting room elsewhere.
129. Surprise your spouse with an ice-cold drink while he/she is working hard on a hot day.
130. Kiss in the rain.
131. Join him, unexpectedly, in the shower.
132. Mail a love letter to your spouse's place of work.
133. Create a trail through your home with a string leading your mate to a gift you have for them.
134. Buy your husband a negligee that you know you'll look great in.
135. Brush her hair.
136. Ride a carousel or a merry-go-round.
137. Take a bike ride—on the same bike.
138. Hug while you roll down a hill (if you want to do this again you'd better choose a grassy hill).
139. Leave teasing notes around the house to create an atmosphere of anticipation.
140. Use a tender-touch as you pass one another around the house.
141. Share a milk shake with two straws.
142. Take the phone off the hook, turn off the TV, turn down the lights and kiss on the floor.
143. Put fresh flowers in front of her bathroom sink and write a love note with lipstick on the mirror.
144. Dedicate a song to her over the radio.
145. Break away from the chaos of the family long enough to share an intimate conversation.
146. Wink and smile at your spouse from across the room.
147. Kiss your spouse's fingers.
148. Celebrate for no reason.
149. Leave a photo of yourself on his dashboard.
150. Give your husband a manicure.
151. Using plastic cups, create your own miniature golf course by placing the cups in different locations around the house and have fun creatively playing the game together.
152. Fill your bed with rose petals.
153. Play strip canasta.
154. Remember something she thinks you've forgotten.
155. Stand together in front of a lake and watch your reflections.
156. Hug for an extended period of time.
157. Leave your lip-prints on a note.
158. Sit in front of the window during a rainstorm.
159. Do something together to help someone else.
160. Take a fun class together.
161. Go rock-skipping.
162. Ride a bicycle-built-for-two.
163. Fall asleep holding each other.
164. Draw your spouse a stick figure picture of something romantic.
165. Tell your wife you will take her anywhere she wants to go.
166. Call your husband during the day and remind him of your love for him.
167. Get up some morning and head out in the car together without planning one single thing.
168. Have a hot bubble-bath ready for her when she comes home from a hard day.
169. Ask your spouse, "What can I do to make you happier?"
170. Buy new satin sheets.
171. Try to go away for the weekend and spend only $20.
172. Break your after-dinner routine and go sightseeing.
173. Mail a love letter to your spouse's place of work.
174. Reminisce about your first kiss or your first date.
175. Drop everything and do something for the one you love—right now!
_________________________
[font:Arial Black]
JUMP!
-- and you will find out how to
unfold your wings
as you fall.

- ray bradbury

What your H did was very wrong.


No, the answer lies in the PLAN, which you have both resisted to implement with numerous "but's".

Thanks for all the wonderful idea's. This will certainly help. I love the getting to know you games. I have lost sight of who I am and i believe this will help alot.

HerPapaBear, Thank you for taking your time while you are very busy to post. I really appreciate your input and your insight is so very helpful. I am still working on a plan. So far I making a list of things to do for the two of us. I am getting ready to call my uncle to see what advice he can give. He has a very strong religious back round and told me that I should be looking for an assembly of God church or southern baptist, yesterday.

We have been spending more time together. I'm sorry, I just got off from work and I am so tired I can not think straight. I will get back on soon to give better details. Thanks again for all the great idea's.