Congratulations! You put up with a lot for a very long time.

Now, don't go all crazy.

I got to get crazy a little bit.

I hope as the months go by I continue to feel a since of relief that I do today.

I'll be in a multiphase process of recovery that starts with getting the farm sold. Got a lot done today towards that but it will take months to get everything ready.

Work that accomplishes something I look forward to....... amazing how different my attitude is towards that compared to getting divorced, that was a mountain of work, every bit of it is distasteful. Working on the house is turning something that was beautiful that way again, I can see the fruits of my labor. I have read several threads where guys talked about making the house they kept their own by repainting and redecorating, 9 hrs into my freedom I already get that.

I've been smiling all day, going out with friends tonight to watch LSU - BAMA game, should be fun!!!

Crazy is only okay as long as it's not very crazy.

Also, I'd strongly suggest that you find a DivorceCare group. Many of them are starting about now, and you should be able to find one near you. It's been very helpful in my recovery. Very.

(You might want to change your signature. It still says STBX.)

Kirby,

I've got the signature line fixed......

Had another good day, still feeling great about moving on. Should have the XWW out of the house by 1 Mar.

Got some ladies sniffing around, might have to let one chase me for awhile.

Idjit!

DivorceCare! Get the WXW out of the house! THEN think about dating!

Hey SC

Good to see you made it through to the other side with your head held high.

Give it a little time to make sure this all sinks in.

You have had a long journey. Really take some time for yourself to be totally detached from what was. Remember my X lived with me to after D about 2 1/2 months.. I felt like I couldn't do anything. Felt very strange and awkward even being in the same house.

She would not go away yet would not give up OM. Even got a court order to be in the house when I pushed the issue. I was awarded sole tenancy and she still did not understand it. Any ways I am rambeling and I know its not your story.

The point I am trying to make is as long as your still together in that house "The Shadow" of what was is still there.

Just sayin take care of business first. Plenty of "Ladys" will always be chasing after a man who took the high road throughout all of this. Take care of business so you will be able to clearly weed out any of those that do not shine and be free of "The Shadow".

I went out with groups of single people just to have fun, laugh, and Bull sheet. Felt good just to be out and not involved in or thinking about the M even though I was not with anyone. In retrospect I could just with all the crap I went through. There are plenty of fine "Ladies" out there with morals, values, God, and boundaries that will jump at the chance to be with a guy like you.

Take your time. I agree with Kirby and suggest you at least check out a D support group and see if it fits. IRL you may make some very good friends if nothing else. Never can have too many of those.

Thought about moving over here with the thread but I think I will just update from time to time on my SAA thread, support newbies as much as I can to a certain point, (b/c I went PC) and follow favorites I have come to know. Like you I have also been here a while. I built a good support group around me all along the way so I have been blessed. Also my whole attitude towards life, relationships with family, friends, children, GOD, job, money-pretty much everything has changed over the past few years.

I like what I have going right now-today-this moment. Actually working on short/long term goal list right now. Not too long ago the goal was just to survive the day or week.

March 1 is not far away when you think about where you have been.

Love you Brother. Proud of you

nESRE

nESRE

I know your both right, March 1st will be here before I know it, I have stayed at the house more because of the rehab work we are doing to it to get it ready to sale. I made decent progress on it this week, should have the painters in by the end of next week, floors after that. My hope is to have it done by the end of February if it goes well.

I've decided that I've got to get a "new" car before I can date, the '96 pick up with 237,000 miles in it won't work in most situations. Right now I'm thinking BMW, if I can find one cheap enough. Between that, working on the house and planning my next escape to visit my boys and ski, my mind is pretty occupied.

Still some companionship would be nice, little dinner and movie, with a smiling face and no drama....... wouldn't no how to act. There does seem to be plenty of girls out there, problem is where to start.

SC

SC

Give em all a chance when your out from under the shadow.

I might be interested in the PU though


........99 windstar van...190k....MN salt.....Hot mooochine for the ladies huh.....

nESRE

Gentlemen, a vehicle from the '90s is not the best if you're planning on dating. However, you don't need something too fancy. A bit less mileage would be a good thing, though. You don't want to have a breakdown while you're out.

So on the car front I am still leaning towards a BMW 3 series convertible, slate blue,(It'll bring out the color in my eyes...... that sounds a little???? ) anyway somewhere between a 2002-2006,

I Picked up my date the other night and she steps out her house (looking great)causally glances at my truck and then cheerfully says "lets go in my car"...... I'm in so much trouble!!!!! only difference is I have more money (or at least credit) than I did in high school so it is fixable, I just have to laugh at my self, it hadn't even dawned on me that by beloved truck was a liability. I'm sure she would have climbed in if it was snowing and I could shown off the 4 wheel drive, but no snow in Tennessee to save me on that one.

SC

By the way, for me and my path, with this MB thing has been spot on in my emotional recovery through the D.
Dr H talks about the love bank being empty and having less regrets, for me it has been so true, just down right excited to be finally moving on. no regrets, looking to a future that God will lead me through.

Something like this? Sounds like a good plan. But you'll need to go ahead and get SOMETHING different before you do too much dating.