Demand? She already had it planned! She needs to proceed with her plan! You, I and everyone else here knows that she will take advantage of you for as long as you allow. The question is: how long will you allow her to take advantage of you?

I don't know how making her leave works. I'm confused by that question. Wasn't she ready to move out? Or is she planning a life like I described with my old boyfriend's parents? Is that what you're planning to accept?

The second choice.

I have spoken to two lawyers. I am more prepared than you think.

She thought she would get her way... a soft landing. Me helping her out. We would sell this house together and she would buy a smaller house. Heck, she thought, I might even make the move and downsize with her. She used to also think we would 'nest'. That's a term where the kids stay put and mom and dad come in and out switching weeks. How great eould that be for her..... I could still handle all her finances for her.

No. I told her full divorce. Time to leave us. And I don't want her friendship and nicey nice conversation and invites.

I can't believe how unprepared she is. Well, scratch that. Its no surprise.

I've run my budget. I kept a daily diary for two months now. Who fixed meals, put kids to bed, did laundry, bought groceries, gave baths, took time off during the day for a kid related event like doctor appt, school concert, PT conference.

I am meeting a third lawyer this week and talking to a friend who is in family law and I will make a choice of one to retain.

Hey stretch, I'm with NW, she has had it to easy.

Get your lawyer and protect your assets

It the right thing to do on all counts

I have provided for her very well. More than just financially. Family support. Emotional support. That support is gone.

Its about me and my kids now. And someday, another womsn

Good stretch

She said she will file in the next month. I said, "please do it"...I want a full divorce...I am not listing the house, nor filing.

I can't believe how unprepared she is. Well, scratch that. Its no surprise.

I'm going to go two apparently divergent ways in this note.

Divorce/don't divorce - you and she are adults and have certain actions open to you. But let's be clear here - your elevated desire to bring see an end to your marriage is NOT primarily a result of her earlier infidelity, right? It's MUCH more driven by whatever emotional failure she is currently exhibiting which seemingly renders her unable/unwilling to demonstrate affection and care for you. (If you were still disgusted/distraught over her EA, you'd not be yielding to her the opportunity to file.) Since this divorce-bias you're driven by is therefore not really infidelity-driven, I'm not going to rejoice in your new initiative. (My opinion in this matter is already on record.)

But, as a student of human nature, I will be interested in seeing how your "dance to divorce" is going to play out. You do not want to file; she will struggle with (depression-induced?) procrastination in getting anything of import accomplished. You want her to move out; it's unlikley she could manage to pack for a weekend visit to Granny's. You are able/unwilling, while she's evidently willing/unable to drive the process. This could be agonizing for all concerned.

A lesson in humna nature for you. No action is being taken because both don't want any action to happen.

They want to appear tough so they talk it but don't walk it.

Neither one will file because neither one wants to have the blame for the marriage ending.

Maybe neither one wants a D, but to embarrassed to recommit.

Hey stretch, how are things?

Ok stretch, don't disappear on us now. You doing ok? Update when you can, hope things are going well.

I am afraid we might have lost both Stretch and SMM. North you and I might be the only ones left from our group..

Well, maybe he'll chime in. In the meantime, it gives me a great opportunity to post this picture...it's available from a t-shirt company, and would be an ideal parting gift to give to a wayward

LOL! Do they sell them at a bulk discount?

I am still here and I do not intend to disappear. Took a break. Be back with updates soon

Who is SMM btw? I dont remember him.
I think we lost Andy and TimB

I know andy and tim swap emails, and they are both doing ok. I don't see them around the forum.

SMM was a guy from when I first started, I have stayed in touch with him. He posts sometimes on wolfpackgirls thread in recovery. Good guy, known him on here a long time and bonus hes a doctor so I have a no questions asked viagra perscription for later in life..haha.

Glad you are back stretch!

You're incorrigible, Reynolds! (Of course, I believe I've mentioned that before, so it should come as no surprise to you. )

I think it's a Canadian thing.

Its a guy thing! lol

Hey everyone! I'm still here.... and Andy's still "there".

Looks like Stretch is in Limbo Mode while he contemplates whatever it is he's thinking.

The daily grind takes precedence and MB is a place to come and vent when things go south... so I'm assuming things have become somewhat "normal" in the Stretch household.

I'm still married, but nearing the end of the Divorce line... my WW is forcing herself to like some dude named (ironically) Tim. He's 10 years older than her, and she is struggling with commitment to him. I don't care anymore. I've moved on emotionally, and focusing on my girls and my business. My oldest daughter started college in the Fall, and now she's in her second semester...so proud of her!

As far as who files for divorce first, Stretch... it doesn't really matter in my opinion. In my state, there is a "streamlined" process for divorce (isn't that sick?). Once either party files, the court immediately orders a child custody mediation, followed by a court ordered financial mediation. The hope is that both parties will come to terms and the divorce will be completed using as little of the court's time as possible.

I've found out that even with those two mediations, WW and I are far from done. She filed last April. We are still going at it. I am Pro-Se now, and WW has spent thousands of dollars with her atty. She cashed in inherited IRA's to fund her legal fees, along with liquid funds from an inheritance (all funds I cannot touch).

Anyhoo- I just wanted to stop by and catch up with Stretch here.... I'll check back soon and see how you are doing my friend.

Take care and good job reinventing yourself!