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GJM Offline
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You have that in your favor then. I've been married for 13 years and it was calculated that my W would get 32% of my retirement. She waived it in our MSA (lucky for me).


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



GJM #2592067 01/30/12 06:24 PM
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Amazin Offline OP
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MSA?


BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
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Marital Settlement Agreement. 4 months until divorce is final (unfortuneately).


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



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(((Amazin))) So sorry you are having to still deal with that crap. I wondered what happened to you. I remember when you were going through the fire, but it sounds like you've got a better handle on things. I'm sorry you triggered so badly at the hearing but you know you don't need that kind of drama back in your life. A few of the old timers have left for whatever reason but there are still a lot of people here who helped you out back then and who are willing to continue to help. We have some amazing posters (including lots of GOOD Godly men) who would probably be willing to walk with you if you ask.

I really don't think you should switch over to the divorced thread yet because a lot of newbies could benefit from your thread here. Also, be careful about disclosing personal info because there are those who rarely (if ever) post that have proven to have ulterior motives. I suggest you email Mr. W to get more details.

Really glad you're back!


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Amazin Offline OP
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Thanks Meggy!

Originally Posted By: princessmeggy
Also, be careful about disclosing personal info because there are those who rarely (if ever) post that have proven to have ulterior motives. I suggest you email Mr. W to get more details.


Do you think there was there anything I posted that was too specific or that might identify me?


BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,423
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I'm sorry you are still going through the rigors of divorce. I can't imagine the toll it has taken on you.

I just saw your thread and don't have time for a good post to you right now. Just wanted you to know I saw you and I'll be back tomorrow to catch up.

Take care, friend.

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Amazin Offline OP
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Thanks Fox.

Nice to hear from you. hurray

Last edited by Amazin; 01/31/12 09:57 PM.

BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
Joined: Dec 2007
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---------------> just passing through.....

cool

Not

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Originally Posted By: not2fun
---------------> just passing through.....

cool

Not
dontknow Weird.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Originally Posted By: maritalbliss
Originally Posted By: not2fun
---------------> just passing through.....

cool

Not
dontknow Weird.


Not in the slightest, MB.....

Back when Amazin' and I were going through our journeys, Amazing' would "drive-by" my thread all the time....... rotflmao

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Quote:
Back when Amazin' and I were going through our journeys, Amazing' would "drive-by" my thread all the time.......
OH! I didn't catch that - I've been through both of your threads and never saw a time when you would "drive-by" each other's threads - my bad! I'll have to go back and re-read. smile


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Amazin Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: not2fun
---------------> just passing through.....

cool

Not


Really?
Thats it?
No update? grumble


BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,499
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Originally Posted By: Amazin
Originally Posted By: not2fun
---------------> just passing through.....

cool

Not


Really?
Thats it?
No update? grumble


{{{{Amazin'}}}}}}

No, that's not all!!!!

Actually, Mr. Not is pretty sick tonight. He's not pretty when he's sick. So I've been taking care of him all night, and by doing that, I've been trying to post this by my phone. Every time I start, I get sidetracked with him. By the time I get back, my post is gone..... grumble

It's been exasperating!!!!

I promise I'll give ya a proper update tomorrow...:...

It's so good to see you again......

Not

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Amazin Offline OP
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Sorry to hear that Not2fun.
Take care of your husband.
When you get a chance, come back and give us an update on how your recovery is going.


BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 561
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March is only one month away! Get the bubbly ready.


BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011

Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Amazin',

I'd ask how you are, but you've already answered!!! Though, I'm curious as to what you have been doing for YOU lately..... wink

Four years is such a long time to not have this wrapped up. It saddened me to read that. I can't believe it's been that long!!!!! hug

Good to hear about DD though. Teenagers!!!!!

And so sweet of you to ask about me!!!!

Ya know, about a yr ago a newer (F)WS asked me the rollercoaster ride of infidelity ended? I told them, "I think you only get off just to get on a new one...."

No, not a infidelity ride, but other trials in life......

The Not household has been through a lot since Aug of 2010. Ddnow18, took The family on a very wild and nasty ride. It was an extremely trying time for all of us. Luckily, I was able to use some Plan A & Plan B type techniques with her that worked extremely well for us. The situation was much harder on Mr. Not than me, though. I was often struck at this time by the comparison of my wayward daughter and the WS Mr. Not. Entitlement at it's finest. In the end, our prodigal daughter return, bruised and battered of course, but not without some hard lessons learned!!!! Today she is doing remarkably well and some days I wonder if in the end, it wasn't all worth it. She returned home in May of 2011, and it seemed for awhile life might return to normal.

And then it didn't. Mr. Not suffered from a heart attack in Sept. That shook us all to our core. After all, he was only 36 at the time!!!

So, yes, in so many ways I, no WE, have moved on from the affair. Life does go on. New trials, new triumphs, new experiences.....they all come our way. The hardest part has been not to become complacent or revert to old ways. In some ways, we still deal with that. Right now, we are exhausted and tired...it's been a long 18 months!!!

On a good note.....I have kept the weight off!!!! Well, I did regain about 12 lbs of it, but have stayed pretty even for a long while now.

So, you're threatening to send nasty grams, huh????.... naughty

Alls fair in love and war, old friend..... Personally, I should get to send you one for 1) being MIA and 2) just in case any of those "longing" feelings return again!!!

Ok....is that a better update for ya????

Not

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Good to see you around again Not, sorry to hear about your daughter and the heart attack (at 36 OMG...hope there wasn't much damage...how does that even happen?).

My dad was speaking to me several months ago and I don't know how accurate this is but he claimed that there was a bump up in heart attacks in men around the age of 40. It's the age where we still think we can climb mountains, run marathons and shovel entire driveways without batting an eye and...we can't. Not that we can't do those things at all...just that we have to do them smarter. We have to say "I'm not 20 anymore I need to be careful, slower, more deliberate and conscious of our bodies". Around age 40 guys don't recognize that but by 45 they do and the bump up in heart attacks decreases a bit. So says my dad.

God bless,

Mr. Wondering


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Originally Posted By: MrWondering
So says my dad.

God bless,

Mr. Wondering

I would listen to your dad Mr. W. I'm 47 and I can definitely feel the differences in my body. At 42 young years of age I was 10 feet tall and bullet proof. 5 years later...meh. Life does catch up with you. It sucks, but hey, that's life.

What I have found though is that going half-bore is just as satisfying as full-bore if you look at it from a logical perspective. Took a couple of years to come to that realization (denial is tough), but I finally got it.

I'm not a lesser man for it. Just more seasoned.

And I can live with that


Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


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Quote:
2) just in case any of those "longing" feelings return again!!!

Oh, dear. Not, does your husband know that you post here?


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Originally Posted By: maritalbliss
Quote:
2) just in case any of those "longing" feelings return again!!!

Oh, dear. Not, does your husband know that you post here?



Bliss...I read that as Not2fun indicating she felt Amazi deserved a 2x4 for expressing he had some "longing" feelings for his stbxw recently.

As the divorce nears...Amazin' is feeling conflicted and Not is simply reminding him to stay the course and get far away from his WW....or "don't be conflicted...she was horrible to you and you longing for her again...is crazy...you, [amazi] deserve better"

At least...that's how I read it.

Mr. W


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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