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Originally Posted By: maritalbliss
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2) just in case any of those "longing" feelings return again!!!

Oh, dear. Not, does your husband know that you post here?


(sigh)

Did you just say you've read my thread before???

I'm seriously doubting this as this is the second faux pas you've committed....

What you are insinuating is beyond insulting.....

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Amazin Offline OP
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Thanks for stopping by and giving us an update Not.

Sorry to hear about your husband. 36 is very young to have a heart attack. My brother had one at 50 and I thought that was young. With proper medical treatment, drugs and a lifestyle change hopefully your husband will be back to normal shortly.

Most teenagers go through a rebellious period. Some are more rebellious than others. For me it seemed that girls rebellion was more intense than the boys.

My daughter is doing much better. She left the state run home in the summer of 2010. Since then she's only had one angry outburst toward me and that was about a year ago. She was looking for a job for a long time without any offers. She was getting frustrated. Costco was opening a new store in our area and I took the initiative help her fill out an on-line application. Her attitude was "what's the use? They're just going to bring in people from other stores and have probably already hired everyone else." Well a couple of days later she got a call for an interview. She got the job! Costco is actually one of the better employers, even for part time employees. She's making $11.00 an hour, has benifits and a 401K plan. Having a job and going to school has kept her busy. And for her I think that's half the battle. you know... and idle mind is the devils workshop. She still has a lot of maturing to do though. She's still struggling in school and is still learning how to manage her money. I've been trying to help her learn how to manage her money but she's still of the mindset that "Dad dosen't know anything". Ok... I guess she'll just have to learn the hard way.

My son is supposed to be going to Navy boot camp in April, and my other daughter can't figure out what she wants to do.

Me... I retired from the military last summer and I'm currently un-employed and looking for a job. As for my recent longing... it's probably just the work of the devil on another idle mind. I've got too much time on my hands. I'd like to work on fixing up my house but I don't really want to spend the money until I have another source of income. Right now I probably have enough money in savings to last me until late spring or early summer. And the stress of not knowing when I'll have another job takes a toll.

OK... enough about me and my situation. That's my story and I'm sticking too it.

Thanks again for the update not2fun. Now if only wildhorses74 will get on here and update...along with a few others.. It'll be like a MB reunion.

hurray


BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Here I am! I knew I needed to take some time to post to you - I know I'm wordy so I needed a good CHUNK of time. smile

I don't remember where exactly we left off but I'll see what I can cover.

My DDs are doing extremely well and I'm so proud of who they are becoming. We've had some bumps for sure, but all in all, I'd say we survived.

DD17 graduates from high school this year and is moving out of state to go to school. I thought I was going to be okay with that and then she got in 2 major car accidents. The first one was with her boyfriend and he was driving. They hit black ice and went end over end. DD18's boyfriend was with him and was the only one hurt - badly broken arm. We are so lucky - DD17 was sleeping in the backseat with no seatbelt on. They landed on the side of the truck and she crawled out the back window. They could have been thrown out so easily......

The latest one, she was driving and her tire went of the shoulder into the dirt and she overcorrected at 55 mph. How she didn't roll, I will never know. They ended up in the bottom of the barrow pit on all four tires. Car is totalled after hitting a mailbox and going into the ditch a couple of times. Ugh.

DD18 is still living at home and going to college. She and I plan on opening business together when she graduates next year.

Unfortunately, he BF gave her a promise ring the other day. She says the timeline is a "long time." Let's hope that is true......

I would hate to see her get into this too young like I did. And I don't particularly like her BF - he is pretty controlling and hovers alot.

I've been dating HRG for a few years. Things are going well, albeit slow. Now that DDs are growing up and moving out, I'm looking forward to some progression with him.

WxH and babs are still together. Pretty unhappily as far as I hear. I don't hear much. I have moved on and am in a very good place personally. I am so much better off without him and anything I do hear makes me feel grateful that I don't have to deal with him anymore.

Summer of 2010 my mother was severely beaten by her husband. they had only been married for 2 years. She had a lot of facial damage and had to have reconstructive surgery. Much of my time was spent supporting her recovery and being involved with the court system to keep him incarcerated. He contacted her against a court order about 6 months after the assault and she is now firmly back under his influence. She testified for him and was doing everything she could to get him released. My sisters and I stood firmly in the prosecutor's camp and did everything we could to keep him from her. It was a pretty trying time and the family is still split. He was sentenced to 10 years to the Department of Public Health and Human Services so he is at the state mental hospital for now. He has MS and was given alot of latitude for that. Once he is off certain medications that are not allowed in prison, he will be transfered to prison.

Talk about lives changing in moments...... Mom will never mentally be the same.

I'm glad to see things have improved somewhat with your DD. It's pretty tough to know what the "right" thing to do is - especially when they think they already know.

I hope you find some peace soon with the D. I commend you for hanging in there. It's no easy task. Know that there are better things to come and this too shall pass. Sounds trite, I know, but I have found it to be the truth. I am not so tormented anymore.

I hope things improve for you and you can leave this all behind you. I believe everyone comes into our lives for a reason. They don't all stay forever and some of them shouldn't.

Take care, friend.

Fox

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Originally Posted By: not2fun
Originally Posted By: maritalbliss
Originally Posted By: not2fun
---------------> just passing through.....

cool

Not
dontknow Weird.


Not in the slightest, MB.....

Back when Amazin' and I were going through our journeys, Amazing' would "drive-by" my thread all the time....... rotflmao


I remember that! We had some good times in the middle of all the trauma, didn't we. Something about misery loves company and all that.....

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Amazin Offline OP
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Wow Fox, that was a long post. LOL

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. You're doing the right thing even if she doesn't think so.

Your DD was lucky with the accident. STBX FIL did give me one good piece of advice when it came to first cars for your kids... Don't spend a lot of money becuase they'll probably wreck it anyway. He was right DS 21 wrecked his first car and DD20 wrecked hers. DS's car was totaled, DD was lucky and got her's fixed for $1000.00. Neither one was hurt. I think they were more upset about loosing what they worked hard to pay for than anything. It's a hard lesson but a valuable one I think. (Be careful and take care of what you have)

Quote:
Unfortunately, he BF gave her a promise ring the other day. She says the timeline is a "long time." Let's hope that is true......

I would hate to see her get into this too young like I did. And I don't particularly like her BF - he is pretty controlling and hovers alot.


You're a pretty wise mother, hopefully she'll listen to any advice you give her. You never know, sometimes things work themselves out. When I was going through all my crap DS moved in with his 16yo girlfriend and her parents. (I couldn't believe her parents would allow it.) Anyway to make a long story short DS went to college, eventually broke up with her and came home. (Prodigal Son).

Quote:
I hope you find some peace soon with the D. I commend you for hanging in there. It's no easy task. Know that there are better things to come and this too shall pass. Sounds trite, I know, but I have found it to be the truth. I am not so tormented anymore.

I hope things improve for you and you can leave this all behind you.


And that's probably the crux of where I'm at. This has been going on for four years... I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and can't move on until the divorce is finalized. I can't re-finance or sell my house until the divorce is finalized. And I wont compromise on my morals by dating before the divorce is finalized. I'd like to move on and start dating again. I'm lonely and have a desire for adult companionship. But... even if I was divorced tomorow I don't think I'm ready to date. I don't really feel like I'm in a healthy place emotionally or mentally for dating. Too much baggage maybe?

Fox, thanks for stopping by and updating. hurray

Take care of yourself and don't be a stranger friend.






BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Quote:
Don't spend a lot of money becuase they'll probably wreck it anyway.


Luckily, it wasn't any of my money at all. Both DDs have bought their own cars and pay for their own insurance. DD18 has not wrecked anything (knock on wood.) DD17 is just too confident, I think, and that gets her in trouble when she gets herself in a situation she "thought" she could handle. Thank goodness she lived to learn. The hit to our insurance is completely absorbed by her.

Quote:
You're a pretty wise mother, hopefully she'll listen to any advice you give her.


I sure hope so. We've had some good talks about it and his general treatment of her. I try to walk a very careful line to not knock him, just in case she does choose to go foward with it. I have a feeling he would encourage her to cut off all ties with me.

Quote:
I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and can't move on until the divorce is finalized. I can't re-finance or sell my house until the divorce is finalized.


The state of being in limbo is what is the most emotionally damaging. It feels like we are still be controlled and even after what the waywards did, they still have the power over us. If a decision could just be made, even if it is not in our favor, at least we would have something concrete to address and move on from. The unknown just keeps us suspended.

Quote:
But... even if I was divorced tomorow I don't think I'm ready to date. I don't really feel like I'm in a healthy place emotionally or mentally for dating. Too much baggage maybe?



I'm not sure I would wait until you think all your baggage has been left behind. Sometimes it never is. I've found that as my relationship with HRG progresses, I can identify that baggage and address it - instead of waiting for it magically to disappear. I don't think it can disappear until you work through it. Luckily HRG is very understanding and will talk through it with me. I often fear a WxH reactionfrom HRG - but I never actually get one. That helps me move past some of that baggage and begin to trust him.


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**edit**

Last edited by MBLBanker; 03/07/12 10:58 PM. Reason: Disrespectful

BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
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Originally Posted By: Amazin
OK... enough about me and my situation. That's my story and I'm sticking too it.



Hi Amazin,

Thank you for the update! You are a success story!

I'm so sorry things are still being strung along with your D!
I pray you'll be able to close this door soon and have complete peace again.

Sexymambear and I have been very busy, but we are doing great.

We are currently in China completing our second adoption this past year. It's a process we started two years ago. Since the Hague Convention limits our ability to discuss these adoptions, until they are complete, we have been very quite about them. We adopted a seven yr old last march and just adopted a little four year old about a week ago. Both of our China Dolls were abandoned,institutionalized and lived in orphanages for most of their lives. The plight of orphaned little ones with special needs touches our hearts, but we're not ones to just talk about it.... Which is why we now have two beautiful new Daughters. We are blessed!

Our oldest just married a beautiful young lady in the fall. Our 17dd is making plans to go away to college and our teen boys are keeping me busy just watching them grow up... All is well, (today).

SMB doesn't post much at all, she doesn't like being triggered and decided, for now, it's better to keep a distance from the forums. We still discuss and work the MB Program daily, the way it was designed, as well as Trusting in God to continue supplying the Grace and Mercy we need each day.

I'm so grateful God lifted the scales from my eyes and gave me a second chance to be the man he called me to be.
I was blind, but now I see....


Be Well!





Recovery began 10/07;

Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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