Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860 |
What can a BS expect their WS to be able to recall years post affiar.
Whether the BS just had their dday 5, 10, or 20 years after the affiar was over.
Or whether BS found out about the affair when it happened and the WS stonewalled the BS for 5, 10, or 20 years.
Either way leads up to the BS now demanding that the WS tell them about the affair.
How much can the BS expect the WS to remember?
How can the BS tell that the WS is lying when they say I don't remember?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964 |
TheRoad,
From my experience with my W I think they remember quite a bit, if they feel bad about what they did and they never went physical with another OM afterward. I say that because I could tell that my W would refresh her memories about what happened and was on the verge of telling me but was frightened of the consequences through the years. I sometimes wonder if the effort to suppress their memories makes them all the more vivid.
I've also been told stories from women who did not feel bad about what they did, generally accompanied with entitlement sub-stories, and they seemed to have kept much less.
God Bless
Gamma
Last edited by Gamma; 02/06/12 08:29 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495 |
TheRoad,
From my experience with my W I think they remember quite a bit, if they feel bad about what they did and they never went physical with another OM afterward. I say that because I could tell that my W would refresh her memories about what happened and was on the verge of telling me but was frightened of the consequences through the years. I sometimes wonder if the effort to suppress their memories makes them all the more vivid.
I've also been told stories from women who did not feel bad about what they did, generally accompanied with entitlement sub-stories, and they seemed to have kept much less.
God Bless
Gamma My W had two to recall... One was back in 01 and the other is now almost 4 years ago. With the first one, my wife remembered events more than details. In her mind it was a horrible experience and she simply exercised he amazing gift to forget (not being sarcastic here, she has memory issues with even remembering things about us or the kids). It takes quite a bit of recall for her to remember... With OM2, the details were more. The goal however is to not focus on them. We want the details forgotten in a sense. We don't want the images running through our mind. CV
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860 |
TheRoad,
From my experience with my W I think they remember quite a bit, if they feel bad about what they did and they never went physical with another OM afterward. I say that because I could tell that my W would refresh her memories about what happened and was on the verge of telling me but was frightened of the consequences through the years. I sometimes wonder if the effort to suppress their memories makes them all the more vivid.
I've also been told stories from women who did not feel bad about what they did, generally accompanied with entitlement sub-stories, and they seemed to have kept much less.
God Bless
Gamma My W had two to recall... One was back in 01 and the other is now almost 4 years ago. With the first one, my wife remembered events more than details. In her mind it was a horrible experience and she simply exercised he amazing gift to forget (not being sarcastic here, she has memory issues with even remembering things about us or the kids). It takes quite a bit of recall for her to remember... With OM2, the details were more. The goal however is to not focus on them. We want the details forgotten in a sense. We don't want the images running through our mind. CV I am not trying to stir up what you have left behind so I ask this to keep you from refreshing images in your mind. I ask in the most general way. First A how lacking were the details, meaning did you get the info you wanted or where left hanging for more? Second A did you get the info you wanted or was WW not still not able to remember enough? I guess you know your WW well enough to know that she has a memory problem. Though have you felt that she has hid behind it even in the smallest way?
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
1,183
guests, and
75
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
|
|
