Ok my one son is my IM,
I sent the template( with corrections)....
I don't want a divorce,but I am contacting a lawyer,
For legal separation. I which I can request alimony,
And seperate liabilities. Yes I know it the step before divorce.
I just can't grasp that ATM.

Baby steps , trying to keep my head clear.

Question: what if he has been forced by OW to break all ties.
And wants to talk to me about us? I suspect his feels are all over.
What do I do...sorry don't have the book yet..

Stay dark?
Have IM tell to send email?( remember he's on the road)
Meet with him?

DW, you MUST find another IM. Your son cannot play that role. He is too emotionally involved and it takes NEUTRALITY to do this properly.

In order to recover your marriage, your husband must find a job where he is either home every night or you are out on the road with him. That condition has led to his affair and unless that is resolved, there will be no recovery.

Other conditions are for him to end all contact for life with OW and commit to the Marriage Builders program.

Your IM should screen him to discern his sincerity. MOST WS's will try to get you to break Plan B by giving you false efforts such as "we need to be in contact to see if this can work out" without agreeing to your conditions. So expect him to do that. Expect him also to try to get through to you, such as calling or coming by. You should anticipate this and plan to BLOCK HIM. It is your job to maintain no contact and keep him out, it not his.

So, find another IM to do this job, one that will be neutral. And have that person email me if she/he has any questions. I will gladly help navigate tough communications. ohmelodylane@aol.com

working on finding another Im....i just don't have anyone .really..

But i haven't text him or tried to contact him at all..That's a big task for me at this point.
Sticking to my guns!

Good for you! Plan B is hard intially, DW. Try to find someone who is A) not invested personally, except for the goal of marriage and protecting you, and B) is organized. Melody is right that your son is not the right person.

This does not have to be a close, personal friend. Just someone you know well that you can trust to check email and filter facts, and just relevant facts with zero emotion.

Think more about that? (((DW)))

Well as of today..he has not tried to contact me at all...the very last text i got was on Sunday "Cause we are through i'm moving to my moms"
Rent is due tomorrow and he hasn't tried to contact me,by either text or email in reguard to that.He pays the rent btw.

I'm feeling there is no chance for me to ever get my husband back.

Question what is the purpose of plan B (still waiting for book to come) DARk Period?

Plan B has a dual purpose.

1. It allows the wayward spouse to experience life without you. You will be meeting none of their EN's therefore forcing their AP to meet them.

2. It allows you time and space to heal. This, IMHO, is the most important aspect. Infidelity is a devestating ordeal, especially when the wayward is unrepentant and unremorseful. It gives you time for personal recovery. No longer do you concern yourself with the happenings of the ws. Its all about you.

Some others will probably chime in soon but that's my brief explanation.