Not yet, G, not yet. Plan B will shake your wife to the core.

So I encountered something new yesterday. A friend asked me at an annual function we attended if I was officially divorced. I told him yeah. He then told me the fact that I still wear my ring means absolutely nothing. I was a little caught off guard by the statement just because I didn't expect it. But I began to think about what he said for a response in the future.

Maybe to him and others, it may not mean anything but it does to me. It means that D or not, I'm still committed. It means that I care nothing about what the courts say about my marital status. It means I haven't totally lost lost hope despite what the circumstances may look like. To other women, it's a sign to them that I don't consider myself to be available (and there have been several who have even commented about it).

Just call me crazy, but that's just the way I see it. I guess I'll be ready next time....

Not sure what to say mark, but when some of the BWs on this board read this I can imagine that many will shed a tear for you and wonder why their WHs couldn't be more like you.

Your time frame for enough is enough, and truly moving on, is entirely your decision.

You're in my prayers.

Nothing wrong with being divorced in court but still feeling married in gods law.

Thing is we can only guess your friends motivation to tell you about still wearing your W ring. In the end even if it was an attempt to help you move on or just a joke. It only matters why you want to wear the ring. So wear it in good health.

I don't know his motivation either but it definitely didn't come off as a joke. The odd thing today, though, was my devotional this morning was based on the prodigal son story with the emphasis being patience, hope, and simply trusting God. Then the pastor preached a sermon this morning about Gods ability to raise the dead. Neither of those things served to point me in a different direction. They actually seemed to encourage me to not give up no matter what things look like.

Now Road, you know the answer to this as well as I do, and anyone else does. That friend that made the comment doesn't have the same morals as mark and certainly doesn't have the same commitment to the vows of marriage.

Well, it isn't necessarily true they don't have the same commitment or morals.

What is true is they think a ring signifies a marriage that has not been legally divorced.

Really, it is that simple and not anything to think less of them for having an opinion.

The ring signifies something special to Mark, therefor he wears it.

It isn't the other person's task to understand that.

The ring IS a physical symbol though and people will comment on it. That is human nature and the cultural significance of the symbol.

Never said the friend was wrong in what they thought. I simply said they don't hold the same views as mark. Yes, the ring is only a physical symbol to some people after divorce, but the significance of the ring bears more weight to mark. It's a testament of mark's commitment to his wife. Until mark is readily willing to release himself from that commitment, then the ring stays where it should be. It's what I would do.

I totally disagree with this. That comment wouldn't have been made if they did. JMO

I do agree with this. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree.

I know possible answers.
I don't know the answer.

What I do know is that MSS just has to put those statements on ignore and do what MSS feels is right.

Thanks for the comments, guys. And that comment was filed in the "I don't care what anybody else thinks" category. It just caused me to prepare myself for the next time someone says something similar.

I'm glad that you have decided to figure out what to say to people about your ring. Sometimes, when I read that you still wear yours, I feel badly for having taken mine off. I wear another ring, a family ring with my 2 sons on it, on that finger instead. I took it off about 6 months after my WH left. Even before that, people commented that they were surprised that I still wore it. Even today, I get asked why I am not dating, and I can say, "Because I am still married." Then I get, "But you're separated and it's been TWO YEARS." I answer with, "No matter what my husband has done, I haven't broken my vows, and I don't intend to, so I will not date while I am still married."

As you say, it doesn't really matter what others thinks. You do what you need to, it's working for you.

Scotty, I wouldn't feel bad about taking off your ring means you did what you felt was right at the time. In today's world, though, I guess we both come off as crazy since most people seem to think separated means no longer married. Heck, I think I might come off as just plain weird since Ive actually been divorced now for 2 months. Oh, well...

Well, sincei started touring on the karaoke circuit (lol), i've amassed quite a few loyal fans. I was informed, by one, of a local 12 wk long american idol style karaoke contest and i think i'm gonna enter. It starts tomorrow night.

I used to do a lot of talent shows and it will be nice to be in another. It will be my first in quite a long time. Now i dont have any aspirations of singing professionally. Its just something i do fairly well and fun to do. I cant wait!!!

Sweet Caroline that sounds like fun.

Good luck

Well, i made it to the semifinals which begins in three weeks. Im excited but there is a problem...we start out singing country and i dont know any country.

Any suggestions?

Congrats, and NO. I don't know ANY country songs.

"Your cheating heart" by Hank Williams

"Before he cheats" by Carrie Underwood.

Or "Cheatin'" by Sara Evans (herself a BS I believe)`

Rocketqueen and Karmarose, I laughed really, really hard when I read your "suggestions". It wasn't exactly what I was looking for but it brought a smile to my face. Those were priceless...

tee hee