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Ok, I'll try to be patient. I haven't given him the questions yet either. Should I wait to give him the ?'s until he comes back to me with his answer? Use your judgement here. I think maybe you wait until he comes back and regardless of what he says, hand him the list. Tell him these are the questions you need answered. But use your judgment. You will want to give him that list this weekend no matter what. Even if he comes and refuses, you still want to put it in his hands and let him know you are not budging.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Ok, now he just told me that he doesn't want to waste our money when he already told me the truth, so I told him that I didn't want to waste my life and need confidence that what he is telling me is true. I told him that if that's his decision, then I guess I had his answer about our future.
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Way to go! You do not back down in the face of a wayward's fog! 
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Ok, now he just told me that he doesn't want to waste our money when he already told me the truth, so I told him that I didn't want to waste my life and need confidence that what he is telling me is true. I told him that if that's his decision, then I guess I had his answer about our future. You did good! Just hang tight! He is testing you to see if you mean it. This is his first run.... 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I'm watching him eating his lunch outside right now... I swear he is sweating bullets!
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I'm watching him eating his lunch outside right now... I swear he is sweating bullets!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I forgot... I also told him that if he's already telling the truth and has nothing to hide, then it should be so easy for him.
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Ok, now he just told me that he doesn't want to waste our money when he already told me the truth, so I told him that I didn't want to waste my life and need confidence that what he is telling me is true. I told him that if that's his decision, then I guess I had his answer about our future. Starfish youre a hero!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Thank you soooooo very much!!!! I really hope this works! Thank you for the quick responses! I started to panic, so I'm so thankful you all are here to help guide me! 
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Thank you soooooo very much!!!! I really hope this works! Thank you for the quick responses! I started to panic, so I'm so thankful you all are here to help guide me! You are doing JUST GREAT!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You've done well today, Starfish. Why dont you get your nails done or treat yourself to a new hairstyle?
Meets a PA need and gives you a treat. Self-care is an important part of Plan A. You need to keep your strength up I actually went to the salon this morning and he commented on how cute my hair was!
Last edited by starfish75; 03/17/12 02:56 PM.
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You're a natural!
I'm sending other Plan Aers over here to see how its done! So set them a good example, ok?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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You're a natural!
I'm sending other Plan Aers over here to see how its done! So set them a good example, ok? I'll do my best!!!!
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Getting ready to go for a bike ride together... I'm going to have a blast!!! Is it normal to feel so empowered right now... because I do!!! 
Last edited by starfish75; 03/17/12 03:18 PM.
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Yeah I remember! One day you're weeping into your cereal and the next day you have a PLAN! MB is great isnt it?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Yeah I remember! One day you're weeping into your cereal and the next day you have a PLAN! MB is great isnt it? Yes, absolutely! I still have anxiety, but it definitely feels so good to have a plan!! I just hope he makes the right decision...
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good job!!!! you have a good plan!
let us know how it goes when you give him the questions.
Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan
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WH has been laying the compliments on THICK tonight! I did look and feel beautiful today, but he is telling me all kinds of things tonight that I miss him telling me.
I'm not going to cave though!
I haven't given him the ?'s yet. We are talking about getting some wine, popcorn and renting a movie. Tomorrow we have a baseball game to attend at 1:00pm, so I was thinking about giving him the questions tomorrow morning....?
Last edited by starfish75; 03/17/12 07:42 PM.
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WH has been laying the compliments on THICK tonight! I did look and feel beautiful today, but he is telling me all kinds of things tonight that I miss him telling me.
I'm not going to cave though!
I haven't given him the ?'s yet. We are talking about getting some wine, popcorn and renting a movie. Tomorrow we have a baseball game to attend at 1:00pm, so I was thinking about giving him the questions tomorrow morning....? Sounds good to me! He is probably hoping this will all blow over if he lays on the crap. And I have no doubt that he is more interested now because your price tag just went WAY UP!! So maybe hand him the list tomorrow and say in order for me to stay in this marriage these are the questions I need answered truthfully and completely. I have made an appointment with a polygraph tester for Tuesday at XX:00. That will reinforce to him that you are dead serious.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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WH has been laying the compliments on THICK tonight! I did look and feel beautiful today, but he is telling me all kinds of things tonight that I miss him telling me. Star, hate to burst your bubble here, but this is nothing more than an attempt to disarm and deflect in the hope that you will forgo the polygraph. Don't fall for it. Stand by your guns on this. He's hiding a lot, and I hope you realize it. He's doing nothing but schmoozing you in the hopes of you dropping the poly as a condition of your willingness to try and repair your marriage. He's fighting for the easy way out. I know it feels good, but don't give him that easy way out.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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