Thank you so much for being here for me.... I feel like I'm going to vomit!!!
I already told him last night that poly wasn't an option and if chose no, then I would walk away and never look back, but if he chooses yes, then it will help him to earn trust back by telling me the truth, which is the VERY LEAST you owe me... THE TRUTH!!! He asked me the location and time, so i told him the time and roundabout location. I think we should ride together, even though I REALLY don't want to be near him. He LIED in MC last week straight to our faces and counted on his fingers all of the things that he didn't do that i was still unsure of, which we're all lies!!!

I know damn well he had sex with OW#2! He must think I'm an IDIOT that an employee tried to open the door right when they were getting ready to do the deed! As far as OW#1, I don't have a clue what to think anymore.

I seriously think I'm going to throw-up!

Do you think he's going to try to get out of the poly again before tomorrow?

The things of his that I want to get rid of are triggers for me!!!!

Hmm. Ive never seen anyone be as firm as you, so it would be bold in the extreme for him to try. However dont underestimate the boldness of a wayward. I have no doubt however that you will just say, 'um, no' and that you will stick to it.



Oh fine, then. Godspeed. You'll feel better. Be clear that all triggers are intolerable and must go.

I told my employers eveything and said the shock had made me throw up and that I was shaking most of the time. If I hadn�t they would have thought I'd turned into the worst employee ever for q a few months afterwards. As it was they admired my strength in getting back on my feet.

Please guide me on how to expose through fb. I have her friend list, well I saw it last night and can copy it today. No messages were seen. He said he only sent her one message to get her phone number and then deleted her phone number. He said he is telling me EVERYTHING now... I just chuckled and walked out of the room.

Also, told him that he needed to call our doctor and get in for full STD pane today and that we would ride together for poly tomorrow night. After, I said, "Ok?". He said, "ok".

there's a full guide to FB exposure on the 101 thread in Mel's signature.

You need to copy all her friends into a word doc and make sure you space the messages out to prevent FB blocking you. Pick likely family (same surname, relationship links etc) and married couples, warning them to 'watch their own husbands' as per the 'dear friends of skankyhola' example on the 101 thread.



Very good. Be prepared for this to be very upsetting. Be prepared not to lovebust. Tell him in advance you might get upset but that 'you can get through this if he sticks with these types of trustworthy actions'

I just asked him to show me what he was wearing both nights and he did, so I asked him to hand them to me... He asked why? I said because I'm taking them to the Goodwill and walked out of the room.

starfish, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Can you take the next 2 days off and get some rest? Can you also call up your doctor and get some anti-depressants? Its real important to calm down.

Starfish i am so sorry...

i did take a few days off and it helped, i told my boss and they said take what ever time you need.

i agree that he may be covering up the OW1. you may get more today. i would calmly ask him if there is anything else he would like to say before the poly. because this is his last chance to come clean. and you would like to begin to recovery after he passes the poly.

have you thought about your poly questions?

BTW-you are doing great!

Oh Star. You are such a strong woman.

It's ironic, isn't it? We need the truth so badly and when it starts to come out, we are just devastated.

That's why they lie and try to cover it up. It is so wrong that they can't even face it themselves. They will do anything to avoid the truth...even lie to you and the marriage counselor. The poly will make him face it. And the truth is what will start the recovery process for the BOTH of you.



Be prepared to hear anything at this point. Cool and calm.
You can do this. (((hugs)))

Ok, got the OW's phone number. What do I say to her? I want the truth!

She is communicating with me right now through fb asking me when I'm going to come to her town for a visit. She thinks I'm WH.

which OW?

Try open ending q's but not leading....

Such as

'Just wondering how you are'

'I dont know, what do you suggest?'


Throw out a few traps and then just demand full truth from her.

OW#2

I am so impressed by your strength!
You are doing so well -- and I have great optimism for your marriage recovery.
You have done a wonderful thing for your husband. Its ugly to live with secrets like that. You are giving him a chance to become a better man. He should be grateful.

atta-girl!

I will remain calm, but I am going to call OW#2 today. Any suggestions on what I should ask her?

I'm feeling so weak and not sure how I can stay in a marriage based on lies and I think my husband is sick and has a major problem!

What am I supposed to do????
I'm a wreck, but not backing down until I get the truth!!! Please, somebody help me!!!

Stay the course, starfish. When is the polygraph scheduled?

My guess is he will continue to throw out more and more stuff as the polygraph approaches. His goal is to get you to call it off, one way or the other. You must not do that.

After the polygraph, it will be easier to come up with a plan.

Until then, you have been doing great. Stay the course. Reread the suggestions: take off work, make sure to practice self-care, see a doctor about antidepressants.

Vent here. You will find lots of friends who have been right where you are.