Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 58 of 81 1 2 56 57 58 59 60 80 81
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Originally Posted by indiegirl
I don't know why I still get surprised when things happen the way Dr H says they will.

Understatement, lol. Yeah why are we surprised?

Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
Good! The memories will fade lacking context for reconstruction.

The "ghost units" in your LB$ will fade as those memories lose context.


The less of a frame of reference you have, the less potent any memory - and any emotional effect it could render - will become.

Your not gonna talk about engrams and start a chapter of the Church of Scientology are you HHH?

You know about L Ron Hubbard and "Dianetics" right?

The best times I have with God are the times I have alone, and even if fueled with the human experience, emotion, rationalization and philosophy, life would be an empty gesture if it were not for His covering.

Ok..save that for another day, or another thread..CP

Indie, you certainly do get it, and have gotten it, fast. Now you have gotten "over" WH...

Where is that book you are going to write? Looking forward to seeing great things from you. Even if I/We never know your real name, who you are is yet someone/thing of character we can trust will bring about great things.

That is why..I trust in the invisible God, not because of visible things, because that is only illusion anyways.

Hebrews 11:27
By faith he forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king: for he endured, as seeing him who is invisible.

Romans 1:20
For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:

You are definatly moving forward

rotflmao

I remember seeing the TV commercials for that book when I was a kid; it marketed as some kind of self-help thing.

I've never read it, though.


Been a while, CP. I hope you are continuing to build strength in your faith, sir.

/tj


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
]
I remember seeing the TV commercials for that book when I was a kid; it marketed as some kind of self-help thing.

I've never read it, though.


Been a while, CP. I hope you are continuing to build strength in your faith, sir.

/tj

Oh, you don't know about Dianetics or the church of Scientology?

Ron Hubbard said he could create a religion, from a book. It is now the church of Scientology.

Its premise is that people hurt you, and it stays inside you, until you talk it out, and that cures you.

I read the book, and it is another blind alley, for people who just can't get it, that people are blind, especially those who won't see.

Lol, people are not good. Lol yeah I said it. But they can be enlightened, and inspired, from something outside of themselves.

Gee how many times do we gotta learn that? Seems like every day.

I Thank God for him reaching ME! I am truly blessed.

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
OP Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Thanks everyone.

Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
Where is that book you are going to write?

Well, I need to sort the divorce, finish my maths qualification, restart my career path, redecorate, do up the garden, rent out my house and then get over my cripping fear of trying this and failing. Everything I write looks like garbage. But it won't forever. I do believe that.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
Indie, I'm sure that nothing you write is garbage. You're probably just like me, your own worst critic.


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Quote
Everything I write looks like garbage
I doubt this. Do you know who Stephen King is? He's a novelist over here, but has sold books and movies worldwide. He wrote his first novel and thought so little of it that he threw it in the trash. His wife dug it out and submitted it for him. The name of the novel was "Carrie" - and it was history after that.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
Okay, I never knew that. WOW.


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
OP Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I know (huge steven king fan). Its very common. Margaret Mitchell begged her publishers for the Gone with the Wind copy back because she was so ashamed of it. I think its part of being a good writer and working on your craft.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
OP Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Originally Posted by maritalbliss
His wife dug it out and submitted it for him. The name of the novel was "Carrie" - and it was history after that.


This is the kind of spouse I need!


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Stephanie Meyer never intended for anyone else to read Twilight. What a shame that would have been eh?

You're doing so great Indie.

It's funny. I used to be a bot jealous of the BSs who got to experience MR, and now, I'm a little jealous over the BSs who get PR faster than me. I know it's not a race, and we all need to take our own time. I'm HAPPY for you.

Keep it up, chica. smile


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 361
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 361
Quote
Well, I need to sort the divorce, finish my maths qualification, restart my career path, redecorate, do up the garden, rent out my house and then get over my cripping fear of trying this and failing. Everything I write looks like garbage. But it won't forever. I do believe that.

Indie:
I started a screenplay several years ago. It's crap, too. Who knows if I'll finish it. But the writing of it and the thinking of it has led to so many other things.

You never know WHAT your creative efforts will result in, and you never know WHERE they will take you.

Go for it!

SP


Me: 47
BH: 48, previously married
Married: Nov. 27, 2004
DDay: Nov. 13, 2010
Kids: stepsons DS17 and DS13
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=35
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
OP Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Arghhhh. My Plan B refuses to twinkle and sparkle in the impressive way I want it to sometimes.

I have been turned down by every college I applied to train as a teacher with. One didn't even bother replying. The one I interviewed for said I showed 'impressive oral and written communication skills' but that I needed to improve my knowledge regarding 'teaching and learning' and that I needed to improve the way I spoke about my teaching experience in schools.

I dont get it. I said SO MUCH about my time in schools, with detailed examples and everything. I have a top, first class English degree and seven years experience as journalist and I still dont make the cut simply to STUDY to become an English teacher? It sounds like they want me to know everything about the educational system before I even begin!

So do I apply next year? What do I do in the mean time?

I hate how competitive this recession has made every job post and college place.

Maybe it is one of Mortarman's walls. Imagine how competitive it would be to actually get a job if college places are this cut throat.

I hate my job though, and I am seeing nothing else advertised right now. It may be time to revist travelling or cruise ship idea. However I cant do that till the summer maths exams are done.

One of my old co workers also contacted me to tell me he has a book out. A fantasy novel. GREAT. Trying to be pleased for him, but that's my dream!

Have to put my thinking cap on.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
All in good time my friend.

I know how we want changes to happen in Plan B. We want to feel like we have some semblance of control in our lives again.

Our lives have changed so drastically from what we imagined we were gonna have, and we want to get on with our new lives, and fast. You've got time.

I also wish that I could get a new job. Actually, I desire an actual career, and I will get there. As long as the steps I am taking gets me closer, that's the direction I need. Remember, it's WALLS AND DOORS.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,428
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,428
Originally Posted by Scotland
I know how we want changes to happen in Plan B. We want to feel like we have some semblance of control in our lives again.

Our lives have changed so drastically from what we imagined we were gonna have, and we want to get on with our new lives, and fast. You've got time.

I also wish that I could get a new job. Actually, I desire an actual career, and I will get there. As long as the steps I am taking gets me closer, that's the direction I need. Remember, it's WALLS AND DOORS.
Wise words Scotty. Indie, I like how you are weighing up the options you have and exploring alternatives that may appeal.

I know after D Day I went full speed ahead with some sort of crazed "I'll proove my life can be better without him" sort of mentality. I was going for interviews when I could barely breathe let alone work. Funny enough, I got offered the three jobs I was interviewed for, but realised there was no way I was up to the task, it was just too soon (and involved moving from my support networks). A month or so ago I applied for a job that REALLY appealed and I am so ready for it... and I have heard nothing. Not even an interview.

Yesterday I got a poaching phone call from the neighbouring state I want to move to... the job and city are not what I had originally planned, but its another option and a different door when I thought there might only be a wall. A nice reminder for me that I never know when I might find the next door.


Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.

WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.

Plan B has set me free.

"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
OP Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Ive just got to keep casting out those nets, and keep searching.

While theres no deadline per se, and I am happy in the main, I wont be happy thinking I'm missing opportunities.

If I know Ive got my bases covered, I can be content.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
OP Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Just been out dancing with my MIL. Oh wow she is so much fun! Word of warning though, don't go out drinking with an Irishwoman. Luckily we kept mostly to the dancefloor. I danced the heel off my shoe.

She says to me: "I know you don't want to hear much in the way of softlad. Anyway all I'll tell you is he sent me a huge bouquet and a big card on Mother's Day.He's still a gobshite though.
"His brother is lovely and somehow his wife is awful. Yet my muleheaded son found himself an angel".

I do love her. I wonder if we can stay friends. Tonight was fun if nothing else.

Last edited by indiegirl; 03/24/12 07:46 PM.

What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Originally Posted by indiegirl
I do love her. I wonder if we can stay friends. Tonight was fun if nothing else.

Sounds like she is already your friend, a keeper

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Originally Posted by indiegirl
I know (huge steven king fan). Its very common. Margaret Mitchell begged her publishers for the Gone with the Wind copy back because she was so ashamed of it. I think its part of being a good writer and working on your craft.

The artist is very picky about their own work, and that is part of the process

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
OP Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
So I'm having the oddest Plan B week. I think I'm having a low on the rollercoaster, but things have levelled out so much that I can barely feel the dip, so Im not sure.

I'm not in any pain. I havent cried. I can't sleep though. Im getting sleepy but my mind is too busy. This never happened to me before DDay - I could win awards for deep sleeping. The night OW made a slip of the tongue and first made me suspicious was the first time I ever missed a night's sleep. Now whenever I have had a low rollercoaster point, I got insomnia. But this time I dont have any particularly low feelings to go with it.

I was pretty knocked flat by my teaching plan falling through, and I dont feel like my Plan B is going as well with no firm future plans in place. I was going to give myself a break and then start looking into other options. Maybe thats all it is .

Last edited by indiegirl; 04/03/12 01:31 PM.

What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 453
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 453
Indiegirl, I feel for you about the job situation and career situation. It sounds like you have a passionate desire to teach. I'm not sure where you live, but sometimes a good way to get a foot in the door is substitute teaching. Or, since you have experience in journalism, what about advancing your journalism degree and teaching at a junior college? Also, if you're closer to a metropolitan area, there may be cooperative schools for homeschooling families and they LOVE someone who has experience to share. Or perhaps see if you can volunteer in a school to work with a school newspaper or yearbook? Or could you go straight to teaching in a private school? If you have some flexibility about what you are going to do next in life, but know which direction you'd like to go, there are sometimes very non-traditional paths to take to get where you'd like to be.

I suffer from insomnia regularly and its always a matter of unresolved stresses and fears. Journaling can help sometimes, but others I just have to learn to live with less sleep. smile Not the best solution! I hope yours resolves soon so you can feel fresh and ready to take on each day for all the opportunities it presents.


Me, BS: 35
WxH: 36 "HAM" Hearts a mess
6yo DS (with WxH), 9 and 12yo DDs from first marriage
Discovered DH's affair in June, 2011
"I'm not having an affair, you're crazy." major gaslighting
Served with divorce papers on 2/3/12
Divorce final 7/29/2013
Living day by day, counting my blessings, loving my children
Personal Recovery well underway!
Page 58 of 81 1 2 56 57 58 59 60 80 81

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 611 guests, and 47 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,838 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5