This all sounds good. And around here, we say that ACTIONS speak louder than words. Let the vets guide you through this.

You've had a hard little while here, take tonight to pamper yourself a bit.

Thank you! I'm finally relaxing tonight... I'm exhausted!

Forgot to mention that I did expose OW#2's contacts through private message on fb! That was a lot of work, but it felt good once I was finished!

You exposed to her contacts? What did you say to them?

Remember what Scotland said above. Actions from the wayward, not words are what count.

Ok, I think I'm getting a bad feeling...
WH sent me this in the night:

BW,
I can't sleep. I just have a bad feeling about that polygraph test. I didnt want to be there and let a machine determine the fate of our relationship, i wanted you a person to determine that. �I'm in a bad place right now just like you and I'm not myself, I'm a wreck. That whole process yesterday just made me feel anxiety and a nervous wreck. �I just want to let you know whatever happens, I have given you what you wanted, the truth about everything. �I would not have agreed to go if I hadn't of given you all the truth. I'm not going to set myself up for failure. �Now our relationship is going to be determined by a cold machine. Just know I have given you the truth, and I don't know how else to get you to believe me.

Lying comes natural to me for some reason. Maybe it's our job, we lie all day long. We call it telling the story, but were really lying to get what we want, the order. It's something we do so natural at work, maybe that has transferred to my life out of work, but I'm a good person who cares and loves.

I love you BW. I want to come home. I want to see that smile, here that laugh, swim, bike, boat, 4 wheel, hike, walk, travel, sit, talk, laugh, cry, play. �I want to hold your hand, wipe your tears, share that story, I want to do everything with you the rest of my life. More important I want to lie next to your warm body in our bed and hold you in my arms at night. If i could sail the 4 corners of the earth with you i would, just you and i. Your the most important person in my life, and I love you BW!!!

WOW.

That is bad.

He's basically blaming you for wanting proof, then admitting he is a liar, but saying his delight in having you meet all his needs somehow makes up for that. Its like your need for RH is not important so long as he gets affection in bed, RC on the boat and admiration from your laughter. Is it supposed to be news to you that you're a great wife?

Still it's not over till the fat lady sings.

If he fails the poly, just continue to be a broken record and say you need verifiable proof. Tell him you can accept him back once he retakes the poly, this time telling the truth so he passes.

Are you preparing for Plan B?

I dont like this as it's a common gaslighting ploy to say. 'Why would I do something SO STUPID?'

'Since it would be a STUPID thing to do, you should take my word for it that I was honest in the poly, instead of the proof of the poly results'.

The following is from the Never Take The Word of A Wayward thread.

Starfish. Recovering from infidelity is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do.

It seems like it is never ending ups and downs.

Just get out those nerves of steel you have shown us. Your reaction whatever the outcome is very important.

My thoughts are with you today.

I'm just so nervous and waiting for the results. I should be getting them this morning. I am not going to respond to him until I read the results.

I agree that his message raises some red flags. But at this point, the test has been taken, the results are coming in (soon). Try your best to stay calm and wait for them. The simple truth is that he may well told the truth and 'passed' the polygraph.

No reason to get all worked up or make any assumptions until you've gotten the results. I'll be praying for you (and him), Starfish.

Thank you so much to all of you... Your kindness, love, care and prayers bring me to tears! I seriously don't know what I would have done without all of you in the most difficult time of my life!!!

I'm trying so hard to remain calm...it is so hard!!!

I sent the following message:

Dear friend/family of OW#2,

It grieves me to write this letter, but I believe all of her friends and family should know the kind of person she really is. OW#2 had an affair with my husband, WH, in January of this year while they were both in Colorado for the weekend. I believe that her friends should know this, so you can protect your marriage from her. My husband and I have been trying to start a family of our own and this affair has almost wrecked our marriage.
I would be happy to provide evidence or details to anyone who asks.

Thank you,
BW

Perfect

HE FAILED MISERABLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a grading scale, -3 or less indicates deceit, WH got a -9!!!
3x's higher than what the scale indicates as lying!

The examiner did a sample test with a number. He had WH tell the truth about the number and then lie about the number. He also showed him another chart from somebody else and had WH point out the area where the person was lying. WH showed him the exact spot and afterwards his attitude changed after, because he realized that the test was for real.

I told the examiner about the email that he sent me and that he left worried. The examiner told me this is indicitive of lying. WH knew there was something that was left unsaid. A person that was telling the truth wouldn't have left feeling worried.

I'm sure he received the results by email and he is planning on coming by after work to mow the yard and I don't want him anywhere near me!!!

He has an addiction problem and is major OCD. He needs help!!!
I don't know what to do.

Sounds like you got a great polygrapher.

Keep doing what you were doing. Tell him no deal until hes passed a poly.

If you dont want to talk to him in person, send him an email saying he's failed - tell him the score indicates a high level of deceit - and may want to reconsider hiding things from you, because that won't work.

Why not go out and treat yourself to - well, whatever you want! You deserve a treat. He can mow the lawn while he thinks about what he's done. Silly wayward.

How long have you been Plan Aing for? I dont see any reason to stay in Plan A if you dont want, as you've done a brilliant one.

If you want to get Plan B going, check out my sig. It's important to prepare properly.

starfish, please do not interact with him if you don't think you can control your lovebusters.

I think many of us are not surprised given his reluctance to take the poly to begin with but then no additional confession, especially since it is pretty obvious he is not being honest about what happened with OW1 on the boat.

Have you considered talking to OW1? I am wondering if you could possibly get some information out of her. Even if you didn't, maybe you could bluff WH and tell him she told you everything and you are giving him another chance to fess up. It's a long shot but it worked for me regarding OW2 in my sitch...

So sorry he failed. The arrogance (and insanity) of people can be astounding, can't it?

Still so impressed with the way you've handled things so far starfish. This failure of your husbands does not reflect on you at all and you are showing yourself to be an incredibly strong, insightful and powerful woman.

I know indie has already laid out some great ideas (and groundwork for a plan) and that others will come in and expound on that. Hang in there and keep fighting!

I am sorry you are going throug this, starfish.

If your WH is like my STBX (which I think he is), then having a traveling job would be a complete disaster since he is a possible serial cheater and because he has no boundaries with women.

He has had a secret second life for probably most of your M and I am sorry to say that I want you to brace yourself that the reason he will not fess up is because there are possibly multiple affairs that have occured here.

I don't want you to give up yet. It is possible for him to turn this around but he will have to become radically honest, which is terrifying for someone like him with so many secrets, and he will have to completely change his lifestyle. But it's up to him and all you can do is keep going with your Plan A while you prepare for Plan B. Hang in there!

{{{{{starfish}}}}}}}

I don't know what to do... I know he received the results by email too. Where do I go from here? Should I contact him or send him an email? I'm so lost right now!!!

Did you see my suggestion regarding OW1? What do you think?