Tomorrow is our first court hearing. My attorney was trying to get WH's to do mediation but for some reason he wants to do this the hard way.

WH showed up at the house yesterday afternoon all emotional and weepy. I asked him what he was doing here and all he said what he didn't know what he was doing he doesn't know if he's coming or going. Yeah, that's been the problem, duh. He asked if I was ready for Tuesday and I told him no and asked him if he was ready and he said no. You could see he had so much more to say but he won't say anything. I asked bc I could tell and he just said it was nothing. Well, I hope this is sinking in that this is really going to happen bc tomorrow everything is going to come out before a judge and it's gonna look bad on him. But he wants to do things the hard way and make this messier than it should be. Apparently, it's all coming back to money. He says he doesn't have any, which he's taken our savings and took a loan out plus whatever he's gotten from school. So if anyone has no money, it's me. It always goes back to money with him. He's so caught up in it, it's what he worships.

But I am glad I am not sad or emotional. At least right now. I am praying for extra strength, courage, and wisdom for tomorrow. And I'm gonna look damn good tomorrow so he will see what he's missing. Please keep me in your prayers tomorrow. Hearing is at 1:30 central time.

The judge sure won't like his taking all that money, I can tell you that...

May God give you the strength and courage to continue on this path that you must travel. May He give you the comfort of knowing that HE stands with you. May he instill the judge with the wisdom to make the right decisions in this matter and most of all, I pray that His will be done.
Amen

Thank you for the prayer LostNtime.

We actually didn't go before a judge today. We tried to come to some agreements. After 3.5 hrs that was not happening. WH is being super greedy with the money. He basically doesn't want to give me much. I'm only asking for expenses to pay our bills. Not extreme amounts. Come to find out he makes way more that I knew anyhow! That floored me. As he complains he has no money he has himself a brand new iPhone. So the outcome of the day is we now have to go before a judge and have a hearing. It is set for April 2. This is not smart for him, as he has taken all this money, is still having an affair, has had other inappropriate relationships in the past, and has kept our son at his apartment without my knowledge. He's just digging a bigger hole for himself.

His work was covering his attorney fees but they only cover 20 hours. He has used all that already. So he's about to start having to pay for his own attorney on top on mine. It's gonna get ugly people.

God sure did cover me with his Holy Spirit today though. Love that!

On another note. Last week I had done my "last ditch attempt" to reach out to WH. I sent him a card with a note and some pictures of us in happy times. He should have gotten it before today, but I guess he didn't check his mail. He texted me about an hour ago that he got the card. He thanked me for it and said he just didn't know what to say anymore. I did not respond. Yes I know I should probably not reached out to him like that, but this D is not what I want. I would like this stranger to leave my WH's body so I can get the real H back. Now I realize that is between him and God. God has a plan for me and I am going to trust in that plan whatever it may be.

Do you have evidence of all this money he is spending? The judges won't like that...his spending i mean.

He has to supply any and all bank statements, receipts, and credit card statement for the last 2 yrs. It's all going to come out.

My WH is still in the selfish zone the "me, myself, and I" everything is "mine" phase. When does that end? Gez, it's been 8 months since he came out with the A, but only 4 months since he told me he didn't want to work on the marriage.

He had the nerve to text me today and ask if we could come to some agreements without the attorneys (basically so he won't have to pay his anything). Funny thing is is that we couldn't even reach any agreements WITH the attorneys!

I have been being nice (kind of plan a-ing but not really). Just not being a mean B*tch anymore. I just keep letting go to God and let God deal with him. But he has been nice to me too. At first I thought that was a good sign that maybe he was thinking about not going through with the D, but I know realize it's bc he just wants me to cave into what HE wants me to agree to. Not gonna happen!

Somebody tell me when he will stop thinking about only himself!? Please!!

Don't hold your breath. My divorce has been final for nearly a year and my WXH is only thinking about himself still.

Not sure I can go through with this court hearing on Monday. Not even sure I want to go through with the whole ordeal! WH has done nothing to give me hope, I just don't feel God's peace about this. I have felt this way for a while now, and it just keeps getting stronger. WH wants to talk this weekend to see if we can come to some agreements without wasting money on attorneys. I told my attorney that and she said that would be wise bc it would save me lots of $$$. I need some advise and wise counsel. I want to obey what God is leading me to do and I don't feel like it is going through with the D. HELP!!

Temp orders have been filed and WH is still in the "I don't know what I want" phase. Yes, he is still involved with the OW. I asked him and he actually answered me honestly. His behavior of late has been very strange, like that of someone who is remorseful and such. I am really trying to not get any false hope b/c it really doesn't take much for me to get hopeful. Isn't that sad? But we had a HUGE fight on his mid-week visit with our DS and he apologized to me when he brought DS home and even called to apologize 2 hrs after he brought DS home. That is not like him. But then he unfriended me on FB bc he was "mad at me" He says he can not trust me bc whatever he says goes straight to my lawyer. Not true but oh well. I am trying to re-establish the no contact except via text or email about our DS. I got lax about it bc we were getting along so well and I had hopes. But every time I get a hope he crushes me and it. At least my skin in getting thicker with each crushing.

But since the temp orders are set, I don't want to push to finalize the D and he doesn't want to push either bc he says he "doesn't know what he wants". He says he is living day to day trying to "figure out the crap" I told him as long as he is IN the crap he won't figure anything out. But how long are you able to stay in this temp order place? Our orders are set through the end of the year but what happens then if neither one of us wants to proceed?

I can't believe that in 4 months it will be a yr since he told me about the A. Wow, time flies.

Why don't you get an IM so you don't have to deal with any of his drama?