I understand what ya'll are saying but until I can prove it I can only go on what is being told to me. And there can be situations where things seem like an affair but are not. Situations can be different. I mean you wouldn't treat cancer the same way you treat a heart attack.
Wow watching this thread is like watching a plane crash ready to happen. Everyone knows it is coming but the pilot. You totally2confused are the pilot that can't see what is going to happen.
We have been where you are. Now I am going to tell you a secret. It is an important one to remember. People that have affairs LIE. You can tell they are lying by the way they move their lips or write things to you.
I understand what ya'll are saying but until I can prove it I can only go on what is being told to me.
Let me tell you about my ex-wife. She was sleeping with another dude. I had told her I would divorce her if she ever slept with another man. She told me the same thing if I ever cheated she would divorce me.
So I started to catch on and started snooping. I got her emails and texts with spyware. I even had video of her with the OM in my home when I was traveling. She even called the guy from my home on our land line and so I had a ton of evidence.
When I confronted her she denied everything. I showed her the emails and she said "We knew you were suspecting us so we sent these to catch you spying on me".
I played for her some of their conversations and she said "I knew you were recording it. We did this to catch you spying". My Ex lied about everything. Since she was having an affair it was easy for her to lie. In her phone conversations she told him she loved him. Wanted to be with him. Did not want to be with me anymore. I believed her after reading the emails and listening to it.
She still said she was not having an affair. It was all in my head and she was mad at me. Sound familiar yet??
So the worst thing was I knew she was meeting him in my home. I put a video camera in my room when I left. I did it so I would never have to listen to another lie every again. The video showed her having sex with the guy in my bed. She had done that quite often. The only thing worse than seeing this would have been walking in on them at the time. Needless to say I had it.
You are not going to keep your wife by being a doormat. I will let the others address that but living in denial will not get her back.
You do not have to believe her. You should not believe her until she becomes an honest person again.
Just so you know when my Ex saw the video she could not deny anything anymore. Up until then she treated me like crap but when she knew that I knew and the jig was up and she could not lie it changed everything.
You will not get your wife back by sticking your head in the sand. Your wife knows she can have you back any time she wants. She is in no hurry why should she be? She can do whatever she wants and you will beg her to stay. She has no incentive to do the right thing and better yet she can tell you she is not cheating and that makes it true.
You need to get a clue. I am not saying this to be mean just a reality check. These people have been through this and they will all tell you the same thing.
People that will cheat on their spouse will most certainly lie to them. That is a fact. Your wife is a cheater and a liar. You need to deal with her in those terms if you want her back.
