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Joined: Feb 2012
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I am sorry to say this but I do not think that you should even fool yourself about wanting to restore your marriage.
You have been replaced by another man in the same way you replaced the mother of your children and messed up her life .
if I were her I would not want to even get close to you with a ten foot pole,but then Im not.

I would suggest you get your thought processes and motives in the right place before you jump into her life again and start rocking her boat.

The one constant about waywards is how they seem to be so good at looking after thier own interests all the time regardless of who they step on,even thier own kids.



married 20 years
3 beautiful children(19,17 and 12)
DDAY 1 - June 2003(EA ? duration)
DDAY 2 - OCT 2011(EA spanning 4-5 Years)
MB Weekend course Feb:2012
Joel 2:25 -"I will restore unto you the years that the Locust has eaten."
Joined: Mar 2010
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OBHG, not sure what personal need you filled by castigating someone on a 2+ month-old thread.

This being only the most recent of some...surreal...postings from you, I think I'd
recommend that whatever medication you're on, you consider raising the dosage. [Linked Image from planetsmilies.net]

Joined: Feb 2011
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BobMo, where you on the radio show a couple times, several segments abut a year apart!? My heart breaks for your wife and children. Follow Harley's advice...its worth its weight in gold.


Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)

He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11

Recovering MB Online!


Joined: Jan 2008
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I'm currently going through a nasty divorce after my husband of 27 years informed me of another woman, locked me out of our home, moved her in and then tossed my belongings. There are many many more ugly and cruel actions I won't go into detail, but, I can tell you it is the most ultimate hurt you can experience. You not only hurt the mother of your children, but your children and beyond. It destroys lives. All for the sake of two people's selfishness. Let her heal. She deserves better.

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That would have happened to me if I had not moved out; hubby asked me to leave or kicked me out. He had gotten a girlfriend by March 2011 but I did not leave till June 2011. He hurt me and his kids terribly,but changes happen all the time. Sad thing to me is his church members think I am at fault,but he had the problems of sex addiction not me and refused to change .


Divorced, newly married again less than 5 years, both of us Christians, 2 small children
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Bob,

I so appreciate your sharing your feelings during the affair. My husband experienced exactly what you did to the letter. I have one question for you. Could you not get attention and sex from your wife when you were addicted to the OW. Just curious.


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Bob hasn't been here since January 2012. Somebody bumped an old thread and now people are resounding as if it is current.


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Joined: Sep 2010
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Originally Posted by BobMo
Lost79,
But, internally, I was miserable. I felt guilty all the time and I just knew it would not work out. I tried to justify it in my mind but I could never justify it.

I have over the past several weeks felt more remorse than I have ever before. In fact, my good friend told me he could tell I was feeling remorse and he thought that was good.

I think being away from the OW and coming out of the fog I see the total destruction that I did. It is horrible. Sometimes at night when I trying to go to sleep I think about the damage I have done and I look back and I can not believe I did all that.

God sent many people my way to warn me. Friends and people from my church but I basically ignored them. I really felt trapped and addicted to her

She is doing pretty well now. I have not told her that I have broken it off with the OW because she won't believe me and doesn't care. That is okay, I understand that.
I hope that in time, maybe after 6 months or longer I will let her know that I haven't spoken with her or have any desire to.

I feel great being away from the OW now. I feel set free. Even if I don't get back with my ex I feel I have done the right thing for my kids and my ex. They will never have to deal with her again since she won't be in my life
BobMo~
You are an "addict"...
In reading your posts, I perceive that you will always be addicted to OW and other women...
When my son went through rehab for substance abuse, he said the exact words you have said...
The only difference is that his addiction was marijuana & alcohol...
Your addiction is OW & other women...
One of the worst things I was told when my son was in rehab (he was in high school) was that part of his "recovery" would more than likely be marked by "relapse"...
You are not, nor will you EVER be, free from the desire for your "fix"...
I have learned on this site that a person who engages in the behavior you have been engaged in for so with OW (and dating sites) experiences the same physical "highs" that heroine provides for drug addicts.
In other words, your addiction to OW & other women gives you the endorphine "fix" you need to "feel good"!
Like my son, you will always be on a roller coaster...
Up & down & sideways & inside-out...
You will have good days and bad days...
You will "feel" free some days...
You will "feel" trapped some days...
How are you going to deal with your addiction on the bad days?
Are you going to be able to be "Rational" when you feel the need to acquire your "fix"?
One of the tools my son was given in rehab is what is called R.E.B.T.
Rational-Emotive-Behavior-Therapy...
Using R.E.B.T. my son has been able to kick his addiction aside when he thinks he "needs" his "fix"!
Think about it...




"Now is the time for all good MB Veterans to come to the aid of their MB Rookies!"
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LoveIs-

He is long gone!!!!


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Originally Posted by SugarCane
LoveIs-

He is long gone!!!!

Well,all I've to say is ~ ~ ~

B-U-M-M-E-R...

Wonder why he would bail when he is receiving so much insightful information that would help him understand his plight?!?MrRollieEyes

Ummmmmm ~ Nevermind... grin


"Now is the time for all good MB Veterans to come to the aid of their MB Rookies!"
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