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What comes after exposure, NC and Plan A/B? Is that when you order the books and begin working questionnaires and other items? Nate, get the book, Survivng an Affair and start reading it. In the meantime, I would continue to demand that your wife end her affair if she is going to stay with you. And I most certainly would not allow her to have contact with him from your home. [phone calls, computer, etc] Her continued contact is extremely disrespectful to you. Let her know that in order to stay married to you, she will have to end all contact for life. Or this will lead to divorce. She doesn't have the option of having 2 men. Does she ever take your child around this rat?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Who all knows about the affair? Have you told your families and friends?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Sorry for the lack of info the past day or so. paternity test came back and I am not the father. WW and I are headed for divorce I beleive.
Have been exposing the A to all the last two days. Making it very difficult for the WW. Also, have been giving her the "carrot" treatment.
Headed for divorce because WW is determined to keep in contact with OM, allowing him fair access to OC. I fear I will get the short end of the stick in divorce though, as it is common for courts to keep siblings together as much as possible.
Nate
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I'm so sorry for your pain (((Nate)))
Get a good lawyer and get the book Father's Rights.
You can talk to your lawyer about keeping your child away from the OM.
So she would rather stay in contact with the OM instead of saving her marriage?
Do not give her an "amicable" divorce because there is no such thing.
Can you Plan A for a short while as you prepare for Plan B?
Do not move out of your house. Let her be the one to go if she so chooses. Fight for custody of your child.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I am so sorry, Nate.  Have you told your own family so they can support you? And please follow Brainhurt's advice and get a good fathers rights attorney. If you live in a fault state, ask him to file for divorce on grounds of adultery. This often gives you an advantage in custody and legal settlement. And whatever you do, don't leave your home!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thank you all again for the support. All family and friends know about the situation. I still applying Plan A. Getting my ducks in a row for Plan B. Also, I live in a no fault state. Which will make it nearly impossible for me to have custody I think. I am going to push for all I can, so it should be fun.
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Thank you all again for the support. All family and friends know about the situation. I still applying Plan A. Getting my ducks in a row for Plan B. Also, I live in a no fault state. Which will make it nearly impossible for me to have custody I think. I am going to push for all I can, so it should be fun. Nate, get a good attorney. And in many no fault states, Texas is one, adultery is taken into account when it comes to custody and financial settlements. Since this OM is the father of this child but you are on the birth certificate, you might held liable for support. So please get good legal representation NOW. Even if your marriage does make it, you can't lose by getting protection.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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The best outcome would be for you and your son to seperate from WW and let her and OM and baby fend for themselves.
Good luck.
And get a good attorney!
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Wanted to provide an update. Still moving forward with the divorce. Papers should be submitted this week. WW and I have agreement on most issues, but found out last night that OM has had an emergency protection order and assault charge in the past. I am contacting my lawyer tomorrow in how I can keep this POS away from my son.
Has anyone ran into this before?
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I'm so sorry Nate. Please get with your lawyer and have him put it right in the divorce decree that OM can't be around your children. Please read these they may help. PSUBIKER'S Thread PSUBIKER's Thread
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Thank you all again for the support. All family and friends know about the situation. I still applying Plan A. Getting my ducks in a row for Plan B. Also, I live in a no fault state. Which will make it nearly impossible for me to have custody I think. I am going to push for all I can, so it should be fun. Nate, I am not an attorney, but if your children are under age 16 and considerably younger you actually may have a good case to get custody of your children. When the children are older they get a greater say in where they want to be. However, when they are younger they are not in a position to speak for themselves at the same level. Therefore, in your situation with your WW now carrying the child of the OM, you not only have adultery but an exposure to your children that should not be taken lightly. The reason is, this OM now has legal rights and access to your wife's unborn child once he/she is born; thus access to your wife; thus potential access to your children. Don't back down and choose your attorney carefully. Referrals are usually the best way to go.
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Be the first one to file.
Divorce is war. Go all in.
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and get a VAR, keep on you at all times.
Order background report on OM.
Oh...
BEFORE FILING FOR DIVORCE:
- Withdraw money from accounts
-remove wife as beneficiary from insurance policies.
When you file, the court will prohibit you from doing the above so do it first! (ask you attorney for advice)
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I have not heard of a VAR. Whst is it?
Did my public record research on the POSOM and found two class A misdemeanors and a domestic violence summons about three years ago. Adding that to the fact he is not allowed to see his other son much and I would think a judge would share my viewpoint.
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I have not heard of a VAR. Whst is it? A voice-activated digital recorder. You can read about how to go about choosing one in our forum Operation Investigate.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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I have not heard of a VAR. Whst is it? A voice-activated digital recorder. You can read about how to go about choosing one in our forum Operation Investigate. Here Recording Equipment
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Have you filed for divorce? any update?
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This reminds me of a bible passage.
Proverbs 18:17
"in a lawsuit the first to speak seems right, until someone comes forward and cross examines"
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