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I texted him to see if he has access to her cell phone records and he called me. Said he doesn't, but did check her cell phone and records for the past 3 years and he said that everything between his W and my H was strictly platonic. Only texts around holidays... Happy Thanksgiving... You too, etc. Said there was a football game that they texted about the score (rivalry teams) and that was it. He has been with the sheriff's dept. for 23 years and just said there wasn't anything there from what he could tell from reading their texts. Said very few phone calls, etc. OK but let's look at your account: *He did block her email address and deleted her as a contact after I asked him to do so. I really have no proof of their �friendship� being anymore that just a friendship, because he deleted EVERYTHING! He deleted texts, vm�s, call history, emails, etc. I have no idea what they talked about. This actually came up on my STBX's thread because he erased everything, claiming it was all innocent, and he was hammered for that, he was asked, why would you erase evidence that would exonerate you? Think about it. Yes, those posters were all correct because it was a PA. Why would he have deleted the phone number and then secretly added it back on? Why a secret meeting out on the boat? This is behavior of people in an affair, SF, not innocent friends who have nothing to hide. OW1 BH sounds like he was never suspicious of this being an affair so he never did any real super sleuthing. I noticed he doesn't mention anything about a VAR or keylogger or having seen the emails or having his WW take a poly. His reassurance really doesn't mean anything, SF. He and his W shared an email account. He snooped a lot the past three years and had nothing on them, but a friendship. He also said there was no other phone, so I imagine he knows this from snooping as he told me that he has access to multiple ways of snooping/exposing the truth. My H deleted any contact with her because he knew that I would be upset if they were friends or in contact as it had come up in conversation before and he knew I didn't approve. My H didn't think it was right that I told him who he could and couldn't be friends with. Immature...yes!
Last edited by starfish75; 04/09/12 06:04 PM.
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Who says she is in love with my husband? Here Recap from the last letter he sent me a week ago:
Starfish,
I want to let you know that I have not been completely honest about OW#1 over the last two years. �The day we went to lunch that you know about, that started all this, OW#1 did tell me as I was getting in my truck that she loved me. �I responded with I love you too, and you�ll get through this. �Not sure why I told her I loved her, but she was very emotional, and that was how I responded. � And here. Wish I could get the truth from OW#1. I found out after I talked to her about their exchange of ILY's. She doesn't know that I know this...
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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So what have you decided to do?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Did OW BH tell you that he had used a VAR and keylogger to snoop on her? Why would he do that if he didn't suspect an A?
Did OW BH know about the lunches and the outing on the boat with your WH?
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Did OW BH tell you that he had used a VAR and keylogger to snoop on her? Why would he do that if he didn't suspect an A?
Did OW BH know about the lunches and the outing on the boat with your WH? She was hanging out with the guys after work for drinks, so he was suspicious. Yes, he knew about every meeting, lunch, boat and was there most of the time when texts were exchanged. He also checked her phone and cell phone records.
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Who says she is in love with my husband? Here Recap from the last letter he sent me a week ago:
Starfish,
I want to let you know that I have not been completely honest about OW#1 over the last two years. �The day we went to lunch that you know about, that started all this, OW#1 did tell me as I was getting in my truck that she loved me. �I responded with I love you too, and you�ll get through this. �Not sure why I told her I loved her, but she was very emotional, and that was how I responded. � And here. Wish I could get the truth from OW#1. I found out after I talked to her about their exchange of ILY's. She doesn't know that I know this... Her H said she tells EVERYONE that she loves them and it is strictly friendly! Notice my H told her that everything would be ok after he told her ILY back? He was talking about her marriage... That everything would work out. I think my H took things the wrong way, which resulted in fantasies, etc.
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So what have you decided to do?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Did OW BH tell you that he had used a VAR and keylogger to snoop on her? Why would he do that if he didn't suspect an A?
Did OW BH know about the lunches and the outing on the boat with your WH? She was hanging out with the guys after work for drinks, so he was suspicious. Yes, he knew about every meeting, lunch, boat and was there most of the time when texts were exchanged. He also checked her phone and cell phone records. If you read the various threads on this forums where men come here with problems with their wives, we often have to convince them of the affair because their denial is so deep. There are 3 to 4 right now on this forum that didn't believe us when we told them their wives were having an affair. We have another couple of wayward wives here who fooled their husbands for years. It is so easy to do. The OW#1 could have easily called your H from her workplace, hidden a secret affair phone or any # of tricks. And the OWH would never be the wiser. Your typical husband doesn't WANT to believe it. A 5 year old can outsmart a spouse who is in denial. And most are.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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[
Her H said she tells EVERYONE that she loves them and it is strictly friendly! Notice my H told her that everything would be ok after he told her ILY back? He was talking about her marriage... That everything would work out. I think my H took things the wrong way, which resulted in fantasies, etc. He should be able to pass a polygraph if that is the truth, but he flunked.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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A man who is defending his W having her "own space" while they work on the M and defending her traveling overseas and hookups with old boyfriends because "she has trouble disconnecting" is a man who is obviously in denial.
That is completely crazy.
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Did OW BH tell you that he had used a VAR and keylogger to snoop on her? Why would he do that if he didn't suspect an A?
Did OW BH know about the lunches and the outing on the boat with your WH? She was hanging out with the guys after work for drinks, so he was suspicious. Yes, he knew about every meeting, lunch, boat and was there most of the time when texts were exchanged. He also checked her phone and cell phone records. If you read the various threads on this forums where men come here with problems with their wives, we often have to convince them of the affair because their denial is so deep. There are 3 to 4 right now on this forum that didn't believe us when we told them their wives were having an affair. We have another couple of wayward wives here who fooled their husbands for years. It is so easy to do. The OW#1 could have easily called your H from her workplace, hidden a secret affair phone or any # of tricks. And the OWH would never be the wiser. Your typical husband doesn't WANT to believe it. A 5 year old can outsmart a spouse who is in denial. And most are. She doesn't have a work phone, only a cell phone and her H said there was NO OTHER PHONE!
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I'm not in denial here... An A is an A and WH has confessed to both.
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She doesn't have a work phone, only a cell phone and her H said there was NO OTHER PHONE! That he knows about. Affair phones are kept SECRET. Most cheaters here had them!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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She doesn't have a work phone, only a cell phone and her H said there was NO OTHER PHONE! That he knows about. Affair phones are kept SECRET. Most cheaters here had them! So, let's say they both had affair phones.. highly unlikely!. Why would they need to text and call from their regular cell phones? They still had an affair! It doesn't matter... We are beating a dead horse. There was an affair... it has already been admitted!
Last edited by starfish75; 04/09/12 06:36 PM.
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She doesn't have a work phone, only a cell phone and her H said there was NO OTHER PHONE! That he knows about. Affair phones are kept SECRET. Most cheaters here had them! So, let's say they both had affair phones.. highly unlikely!. Why would they need to text and call from their regular cell phones? They still had an affair! It doesn't matter... We are beating a dead horse. There was an affair... it has already been admitted! Well no, it has not been admitted to at all. According to her they are just platonic friends and according to your H, it was a one sided fantasy and they never had sex. And he flunked the polygraph.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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So, let's say they both had affair phones.. highly unlikely!. Why would they need to text and call from their regular cell phones? Your H doesn't NEED an affair phone, though. He can call from work. Or just delete his calls and texts so you don't see them.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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They still had an affair! It doesn't matter... We are beating a dead horse. There was an affair... it has already been admitted! OK. You've decided 'an affair is an affair' and you don't care whether EA or PA (but he cares and he cares about keeping the secret for a reason)so what does that mean for your next step? Does that mean you wont insist on RH and a polygraph? What is your plan?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Joined: Mar 2012
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She doesn't have a work phone, only a cell phone and her H said there was NO OTHER PHONE! That he knows about. Affair phones are kept SECRET. Most cheaters here had them! So, let's say they both had affair phones.. highly unlikely!. Why would they need to text and call from their regular cell phones? They still had an affair! It doesn't matter... We are beating a dead horse. There was an affair... it has already been admitted! Well no, it has not been admitted to at all. According to her they are just platonic friends and according to your H, it was a one sided fantasy and they never had sex. And he flunked the polygraph. WH admitted it was an EA and after I explained the definition on EA to OW#1, she agreed that it could have been, but she never thought about it like that. She agreed she was wrong for meeting my H behind my back and that it wasn't right. I already wrote about this conversation.
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So, let's say they both had affair phones.. highly unlikely!. Why would they need to text and call from their regular cell phones? Your H doesn't NEED an affair phone, though. He can call from work. Or just delete his calls and texts so you don't see them. True... but, OW's H saw all the texts a minimal calls that lasted less than 10 minutes.
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They still had an affair! It doesn't matter... We are beating a dead horse. There was an affair... it has already been admitted! OK. You've decided 'an affair is an affair' and you don't care whether EA or PA (but he cares and he cares about keeping the secret for a reason)so what does that mean for your next step? Does that mean you wont insist on RH and a polygraph? What is your plan? How does anybody know that it was or was not a PA? Nobody knows...We all do know it was an EA. I have insisted on RA... I have already talked to him today about this.
Last edited by starfish75; 04/09/12 06:49 PM.
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