Then I went into Plan PO'D. And didn't give a DAMN about marital recovery. And, had a revenge EA, that could have gone physical
YIKES. But I see how that can happen. Even a BW in a calm Plan B with her wits about her is vulnerable to an RA. Just cause there's so many vultures out there who want take advantage of a betrayed woman (there's literally one in every room containing more than a dozen people)
Plan Confusion is bound to increase the vulnerabilty and be lax on good boundaries because there's no calm, no logic - just misery.
It really isn't! The first week or three is not fun because its taken up with grieving. But that grieving takes away all the anxiety and pent up frustration of Plan A - it washes you clean.
After that it is bliss. It is doing what you want, when you want - no POJA. Making a whole new life or making the existing one just better. Coming on here to make sure your Plan B sisters are lining up regular treats for themselves and getting nagged to do the same. Life's good.
Let's compare the fight to kill the affair - to say a battle against a dragon.
In plan A, you get up close and personal with the dragon. Your exposure nukes its wings off, trapping it in the valley (and sometimes killing it outright) your dagger of EN meeting slashes at its neck and your courage in standing up for yourself makes the dragon feel hopeless and like giving up.
All the while you are being scorched and slashed by the dragon, so the battle has to be kept short.
In Plan B you realise you have done as much damage as you can with a small dagger and withdraw to let the weakened, wingless dragon die on its own, where it can't hurt you. There is also the small chance that it is an immortal dragon, and if so you could stab away at it forever and you would die of exhaustion before it did.
Plan Bers then escape through a tunnel to a comfortable castle where the dragon cannot follow. They then fight a smarter battle of letting the dragon die on its own - or simply keeping out of its way if it is unkillable.
This is where the warrior first experiences pain. During Plan A they were too pumped up on adrenaline and anger to feel the burns and wounds the dragon inflicted.
Once in a quiet room, receiving medical attention - they start to smart.
The warrior also misses his old life - the village in the valley that the dragon destroyed.
Some Plan Bers grieve this loss and have their wounds healed and never venture into the valley again until the dragon is dead. They make a new life in the castle. Often the dragon becomes a man again, who will help the warrior rebuild. If not, the BS is happy where they are.
But others do a strange thing.
As soon as they are in the healer's quiet room and their wounds begin to smart, they blame the room.
'This room is too painful' they say. 'I miss my home' 'I was happier there'.
They look out to the valley, and instead of a fire breathing dragon, they see their village, intact.
In vain, the healer tries to tell the warrior their pain is only making them hallucinate - but back out they go for more punishment.
Then in and out, getting weaker, more wounded and more confused with each dragon encounter. It also helps to keep the starving dragon alive - at each encounter he tears flesh off the warrior to eat.
To sum up, the quiet room of plan B does not create any pain. It is simply where the pain is realised and grieved. And going back out there will not stop that pain - it will only see more wounds collected.
