Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 9 of 33 1 2 7 8 9 10 11 32 33
totally2confused #2616445 04/16/12 04:35 AM
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,428
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,428
Stay strong T2C. Let us know how it goes...

Don't expect everyone to be supportive. Do it anyway, because it is the right thing to do.


Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.

WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.

Plan B has set me free.

"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
Caracal #2616455 04/16/12 06:02 AM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
She has opened her own bank account, what should I do.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2616461 04/16/12 06:52 AM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,469
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,469
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by totally2confused
I have it written. I will send some out by email and probably some through Facebook.

Post your exposure letter so we can give you some feedback.

Read this for Facebook exposure and pointers. Facebook Exposure Letters and Pointers


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2616467 04/16/12 06:58 AM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
I have already posted Brainhurts. I think it is a couple pages back. Melodylane edited it a little bit, but I will repost when I get home.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2616468 04/16/12 07:00 AM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,469
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,469
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by totally2confused
She has opened her own bank account, what should I do.

How do you know this? Do you both still have a joint account together? If so I would transfer your money to another account and protect your finances.


WW have a tendency to take the money. So please protect you, especially since you're still out of the house.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



totally2confused #2616469 04/16/12 07:00 AM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,469
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,469
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by totally2confused
I have already posted Brainhurts. I think it is a couple pages back. Melodylane edited it a little bit, but I will repost when I get home.

Oh that's right. My bad.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2616517 04/16/12 09:58 AM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
I'm not sure at this moment that it is her account or possibly her parents or cousin since they were over at the house while she was in charleston. All I know is there is no morning missing out of our joint account. I will know for sure on the 29th when her next check is suppose to go in.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2616711 04/16/12 10:34 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,469
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,469
Likes: 4
How did your exposure go?

You also moved back in today, correct?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2616816 04/17/12 11:55 AM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
Didn't get a chance to do it. I was so devastated from the counselor visit. She sat in there an told him she had no regrets for having the affair. She said if she could do something like that then she knew it was over. What do you do to change her mind if she had no regrets or remorse for what she done? I am really confused now.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2616843 04/17/12 01:11 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
More proof that counseling doesn't help couples recover from an affair. Ditch the counselor.

It is not uncommon for a WW to show no remorse. What you do is a stellar Plan A until the moment you Plan B her.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
totally2confused #2616886 04/17/12 04:55 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
I know I still need to expose. That's not a problem. The problem is do I need to go from plan a to plan b now knowing what I know from the counselors visit.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2616895 04/17/12 05:16 PM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 552
Z
Member
Offline
Member
Z
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 552
Keep with plan A. STOP listening to her fog talk. You cannot let this sway you from right action. No more counseling so she can go on and on with her fog.

You've got to do the best you can to unhook from what she's saying. See her as an addict who's lost her marbles because that's exactly what she is.

If you want to get charge of this situation, you have to unhook from her babble.

EXPOSE. asap.

totally2confused #2616896 04/17/12 05:20 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,469
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,469
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by totally2confused
I know I still need to expose. That's not a problem. The problem is do I need to go from plan a to plan b now knowing what I know from the counselors visit.

So what if she told the counselor didly?

All you're doing is letting her continue down her foggy path without the exposure. She will say all sorts of craziness after you expose. She says this before you expose and she will continue with her wayward talk until she is out of the fog.


Craziest things to come out of a wayward's piehole


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2616901 04/17/12 06:08 PM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
You need to fire this counselor.

Move back home tonight.

Ignore WW fog babble.

Forget plan B, you still need to plan A.

Why have you not exposed. So get back home and expose.

TheRoad #2616945 04/17/12 09:14 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
How do I plan a if she moves out?


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2616947 04/17/12 09:17 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,469
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,469
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by totally2confused
How do I plan a if she moves out?
Are you back home yet?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



totally2confused #2616950 04/17/12 09:19 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by totally2confused
Didn't get a chance to do it. I was so devastated from the counselor visit. She sat in there an told him she had no regrets for having the affair. She said if she could do something like that then she knew it was over. What do you do to change her mind if she had no regrets or remorse for what she done? I am really confused now.

How is the plan going? Dont' get distracted by the antics of a falling down drunk. Stick to your plan. Move home. Expose the affair. Please don't post meaningless fogbabble anymore.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2616951 04/17/12 09:21 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
p.s. and don't go to counseling anymore! Do something productive like washing your car..


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2617591 04/19/12 11:25 AM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,469
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,469
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by totally2confused
Didn't get a chance to do it. I was so devastated from the counselor visit. She sat in there an told him she had no regrets for having the affair. She said if she could do something like that then she knew it was over. What do you do to change her mind if she had no regrets or remorse for what she done? I am really confused now.

How is the plan going? Dont' get distracted by the antics of a falling down drunk. Stick to your plan. Move home. Expose the affair. Please don't post meaningless fogbabble anymore.

Did you move back home and expose yet?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



totally2confused #2618059 04/21/12 08:35 AM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
I just found out that adultery is a crime in south Carolina. It is punishable by a fine and possibly six months in jail.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
Page 9 of 33 1 2 7 8 9 10 11 32 33

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 95 guests, and 91 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Jose E. Martin, Frank Pro, annonymous, Robert Robertson, Myramillan
71,891 Registered Users
Latest Posts
20 appointments and $1000’s later…
by IrishGreen - 10/30/24 06:20 PM
Happening again
by jah - 10/29/24 10:00 AM
I grounded my wife - am I proceeding correctly?
by Mature - 10/27/24 02:05 PM
Children
by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 03:02 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,614
Posts2,323,458
Members71,891
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5