If your IM is ready and everything is in place, then I wouldn't blame you for pulling the trigger.

We usually eat crawfish and shrimp down here, but I sympathize with your loss of a good seafood dinner. You could always go with the kids and some friends instead. The company would probably be better.

Agree with Northwood. Go out with the kid's and build some memories.

About him contacting you about the kid's and not talking to them directly. That is a typical WH tactic.

They get their needs met by you and in their crazy wayward thinking that they're been a good father.

Plan B forces him to do all that and kids aren't stupid they know.

You're doing fantastic. We have some BW that even get to the exposure step and you exposed about mulitple OW.

You need to give yourself a pat on the back.

Yes you do! I'm loving this a 'girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do' attitude! You are in good form.

And the seafood dinner? It sounds like an excellent idea for a Plan B treat.

If one more person assumes I'm pregnant with another man's baby, I'm going to scream.

Just because he cheated on me doesn't mean I went and got pregnant by some random person.

And these people. They're not attacking me because they think I slept with someone else. They're actually trying to be supportive. They "know my marriage has been bad for a while." And "Totally understand why I would have left for someone else."

I think I'd be happier if they thought that and were yelling at me for it. Why is cheating so acceptable that people now just assume if your separated and pregnant they're happy about this new guy you must have?

There are so many things wrong with that entire thought process.

Wow. That is terrible that people would just assume that. Shame on them. If it wasn't for the fantastic people on this board, I would have lost my faith in all of humanity by now.

Some of the things that people have said to my WW that make me cringe: "I understand what you're doing, but you really need to put one fire out before starting another." "Take some time off if you need to. Everyone will ignore your personal life as long as you continue doing a good job."

Who ARE these people Jen??!!

One of the great benefits to exposure in my case was it uncovered how many people in my life were secretly freaks. The same may be happening to you.

Because they're effing idiots and their mothers raised them wrong.

I don't know about you, but if my kids ever pull a stunt like these waywards do there will be hell to pay.

Reminds me of this quote:

"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand" - Linus (Charles Shultz)

Gave him the PBL and rest of his stuff 4 hours ago. He had no idea what was in the envelopes, so he just hugged me and told me to text him later.

I have blocked every communication point I can think of. Apparently, my cell phone alerts me every time it blocks a call or text. Which makes the entire system pointless. It doesn't allow a voice mail message to be left and doesn't save the text, but who needs the reminder that he's calling. Or that he isn't. Going to look into blocking apps later tonight.

Explained the concept of Plan B to my mother. She took that conversation to repeatedly tell me what was wrong with my WH and how she never wanted this for me. Thanks mom. As if I walked down the aisle just hoping 7 years later I'd be knocked up by my cheating husband who was so ridiculous I had to stop speaking to him all together. I know she means well, but haven't I been dealing with enough already?

All this no contact quiet is going to take some getting used to.

Good job on the PBL.

I'm sure your mom means well...wouldn't you be pissed purple if your child was going through this? Just remember you'll get to bug your own kids later in life, too

Good job on Plan B.

Yes find out how to turn the reminders off.

Please take a hot bubble bath and light some candles and try to relax.

Worried about your blood pressure with your already high risk pregnancy.

Mom's can do that because she cares for you.

Hugs(((Jen)))

Oh, absolutely. I know she's trying her best not to just start ranting and raving and cursing about him too. Today just wasn't quite the day to hear anything at all, good or bad.

I'd love to. Except my 3 year old refuses to sleep and instead is telling me "dada doesn't like us" in 10 minute intervals. I try telling her he loves her and that I love her but she's just not buying it. Right now, I can't really blame her.


One of my high risk factors is that I have extreme low blood pressure. My doctor has actually told me not to worry about stress and panic attacks in previous pregnancies because the adrenaline is good for the baby in my case. The adrenaline helps prevent the dizziness and fainting, which is nice, but it also causes my lack of appetite and sleep.

Going to tell my doctor everything tomorrow and see what she can suggest, on top of the antidepressants and std test.

Others can probably advise better, but I wouldn't be telling them what their dad does or does not feel towards them as his actions will, surely, not back up such statements in their minds.

Just tell them that you love them and will be there for them...leave the "your dad loves you" to him to say.

I hope that made sense

Brits_Brat and Northwood gave good advice on what to tell the kids.

Just keep being their solid rock. Kid's need structure and you're that for them.
I'm glad you'll be telling your doctor everything and glad you're getting the STD tests.

Thanks for the advice about the kids. I'm trying hard to reassure them, but I don't think I'm doing a good job. I haven't been very strong the past 2 months and whatever structure I try to provide is completely undone whenever they see my WH. It's like we're starting all over from the day he left every time he sees them. I'll just keep telling them that I love them and hope for the best.

I'm worried about them being picked up from school today. I'm going to call the school about a half hour before last pick up to make sure WH got them. I don't think he's actually read the letter I gave him and I don't want them stranded.

I managed to fall asleep a little before midnight last night. I'd hope it was a sign that I'm finally going to be able to sleep more than 3 hours a night, but I think it may have been extreme mental exhaustion. Woke up to find a blocked text on my phone from WH. Forgot to take care of that before I fell asleep. Going to fix that today after my dr appointment.

I'm not in any way wanting to contact WH, but I'm filled with unpleasant emotion. I'm sad and scared. The entire situation makes me nauseous.

A very old friend hear I was pregnant and got in touch with me yesterday. It was great reconnecting with her, but of course, I had to sort of explain the state of my marriage. That's always unpleasant.

I think I'm putting some weird vibe out into the world, making people from my past seek me out. Some guy I vaguely dated well before my WH messaged me yesterday too. Told him I was married, had kids, was currently pregnant. He told me he wants to get a drink and hook up. Sort of made me realize why I thought my WH was such a catch back then - compared to guys like this. Thought I made it clear I wasn't available or interested. He signed off saying he'd check back after I had the baby. Cause, yeah, the problem was I couldn't drink and not at all about the fact I am married. Bleck.

Sorry this is so long and rambly and kind of pointless. I have all these jumbled thoughts and feelings and just don't know what to do with myself right now.

On a brighter note, my mom has offered to make me a seafood dinner soon, so looks like I'll be getting my shellfish after all.

It does get better! You are doing great for such a newbie.



Common. Word travels fast and the vultures descend. I had old guys, waywards and creeps of every description trying to make good on my betrayal. I just unfriended anyone on FB.

I have returned from the dr. The nurse actually thought the scale was broken, so I may have been a little worse off than I even realized.

When the dr asked me about the weight loss, I may have burst into tears. Luckily, she's one of the best doctors I have ever seen with a wonderful bedside manner. I'm now on Prozac, she did all the STD tests she could do in office and sent me for bloodwork for the rest of the tests. I am to call her in a week to get my results. She wants me to make sure I ask for her directly, so I don't feel uncomfortable with the office staff knowing what's going on. She really is a wonderful person. She'll have the results of my bloodwork then too.

The Prozac should kick in in about 2 weeks. Until then, she advises that since I have a very active baby, to just eat a bite of something whenever I notice a kick. Won't be enough to make me nauseous, but 40-50 bites of food a day will end up being more than I've been managing to force feed myself thus far.

I have yet to find an app that will block calls without notifying me, as it told me my WS tried to call and was hung up on about 2 hours ago. My next mission is to call my provider and see if I can talk to a real live person who can tell me how to make this work right. They must have dealt with situations like this before and have some sort of way to leave me completely clueless about his attempts to contact me.