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totally2confused #2618060 04/21/12 09:45 AM
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Cart before the horse. Are you back home and have you exposed? Your thread is now a month on.

totally2confused #2618063 04/21/12 10:12 AM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
I just found out that adultery is a crime in south Carolina. It is punishable by a fine and possibly six months in jail.

Well that's good to know if you file for D.

Have you moved back home and exposed?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



totally2confused #2618307 04/22/12 12:59 PM
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Alright I've been doing some more snooping before sending out the exposure letter. I think I have found out who the first guy is, I just need your opinion. Last night I sent a Facebook message to the guy I had suspicion about it being and asked him why my ww stop being friends with him on Facebook and stopped Texting him a few months ago. I kept checking throughout the night to see if he answered back. He had not. I then decided to go back to his Facebook page which I had been on earlier in the day and to my surprise he had deactivated his account.I think I have found the first affair guy but I want your opinion about it.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2618312 04/22/12 01:36 PM
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He probably blocked you, not deactivated.

You don't ask an AP if they are the AP. you gave him warning. He will start doing damage control now.


Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
RidicSit #2618316 04/22/12 01:55 PM
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No I checked one of his friends friends list and he isn't there anymore either. Oh well my mistake, it gave me the answer I was looking for.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2618337 04/22/12 04:25 PM
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Have you moved back home?

You need to expose. Did you make a copy of his friend's list? Then go and drop the exposure bomb. You gave this OM time to spin his story and hide.

You should've exposed weeks ago.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2618345 04/22/12 05:13 PM
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This is the first affair that she had back in June. The guy she is talking with now I have not contacted. I have the friends list of the one she is talking now. I am gathering emails now. I also now know where the guy she is talking now lives.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2618538 04/23/12 02:38 PM
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Exposure letter is fixing to go out. The other night was the straw that broke the camels back when she allowed me to take the kids so she could go out until one in the morning. It is time for the war for my marriage to begin and I will not tolerate terriosts to interfere. Don't get me wrong I loved having my kids. Also when should I contact the OM and tell him to leave my wife alone and stay out of my marriage.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2618544 04/23/12 03:01 PM
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This is silly.

Either do something, or just decide to give up.

Seriously. Your thread is a month old. It doesn't take this much time to man up and take action.

My first post here? Was on a Monday. By that very same Thursday- I had exposed wide, blew up the affair, and locked my husband out of the house in a deep Plan B.

DO SOMETHING USEFUL!


Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
totally2confused #2618770 04/24/12 11:12 AM
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Update:

Exposure letter has been sent out, let the fireworks begin. Process of moving back in also has begun. I am ready for the fight and plan on buying a chips just so when I get home and she blows up I can offer her one.

Also saw a counselor today who it the MB way. Expose and move back home.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2618825 04/24/12 02:56 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
Update:

Exposure letter has been sent out, let the fireworks begin. Process of moving back in also has begun. I am ready for the fight and plan on buying a chips just so when I get home and she blows up I can offer her one.

Also saw a counselor today who it the MB way. Expose and move back home.
Good job on finally exposing. When will you be home?

Remember she'll be angry and your M can withstand her anger but not her affair.

Who all did you expose to?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



totally2confused #2618859 04/24/12 04:17 PM
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Hello totally,

I had looked in on your thread the other day, and just shook my head because you had seemed like all plan and no action.

I'm glad to see that you are now becoming proactive. However, don't go home looking for a fight! That is not the purpose of exposure or MB. I think you've been out of your home long enough now that however you come back is going to create stress for her and for you. You don't need to go back like either a lion or a lamb - just matter-of-factly that you belong there. You should give her your statement of why you left and stayed away in the first place without elaborating or placing any blame. Since you have exposed her A yea you need to be prepared for her fireworks w/o reacting and without making things worse. You are a neophyte now in this so please keep that in mind, and listen to those here who will guide you.

Best of fortune,

Tom

Tom2010 #2618865 04/24/12 04:37 PM
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I plan on no fighting. Brainhurts it will be either tomorrow or Thursday since tonight I don't.get off until late and I don't want her to wake the kids if she gets upset.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2618866 04/24/12 04:38 PM
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Brainhurts, I exposed to her family, my family, her uncle up in Pennsylvania that is like a father figure to her and to my cousins. When should I try and contact the OM or should I.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2618980 04/24/12 11:05 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
Brainhurts, I exposed to her family, my family, her uncle up in Pennsylvania that is like a father figure to her and to my cousins. When should I try and contact the OM or should I.

Who on OM's side did you expose to?

Radio clip on confronting the other man


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



totally2confused #2618981 04/24/12 11:07 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
I plan on no fighting. Brainhurts it will be either tomorrow or Thursday since tonight I don't.get off until late and I don't want her to wake the kids if she gets upset.

When you go home just come home and say "honey I'm home and I will do whatever it takes to save this M"? Do you want a glass of milk? Make sure you are back in the marital bed. If she wants to leave then she can leave.

Do not get pulled into her drama when she does.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



totally2confused #2619239 04/25/12 09:10 PM
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Alright, I just took pictures of a mystery van in my drive way of my house. Got pictures of the house, ww's van, and the mystery van in the same picture. Also got a clear picture of the license plate number. Does anyone on here know how to get in ran to find out who it belongs to.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2619245 04/25/12 09:31 PM
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Quote
Does anyone on here know how to get in ran to find out who it belongs to.
Only if you have a cop friend, and he would be risking his job to do that for you.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

maritalbliss #2619246 04/25/12 09:35 PM
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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Quote
Does anyone on here know how to get in ran to find out who it belongs to.
Only if you have a cop friend, and he would be risking his job to do that for you.
Or hire a PI.

I would walk into my own house and confront him.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



totally2confused #2619253 04/25/12 10:02 PM
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If it were me (and be thankful you're not me) I would've politely knocked on the door and walked in saying, "Hi honey, I'm home!"

Seriously though, don't even think about that unless you're prepared to spend a couple of days in jail. I pretty much did this, and while it was satisfying at the time, it wasn't worth it. The "reward" wasn't worth the risk.

Okay, I'm lying a little bit here, because you and I are different. It was VERY satisfying to me to be the cause of a massive disruption of their special little plans that evening. I'll never apologize for my actions that night, as I feel it was my right. There were no punches thrown, but I put the fear of God and me in him that night. LOL..word is, he still looks over his shoulder for me. Truth is, I couldn't care less about that POS. But let him live his putrid little life thinking that I do.

Miss Bliss (dang it, did it again!) is right though. Without running the risk of getting someone in serious trouble there is no real way to run a plate.


Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


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