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MelodyLane #2619308 04/26/12 06:11 AM
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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by totally2confused
I think I am prepare, any pointers on what to do when she goes beserk.

Don't burst out laughing! If you feel like laughing, go to the bathroom and shut the door. Just prepare yourself and don't allow yourself to get dragged into a fight. And dont give into her threats. You know she will make threats, right?
Here you go t2c, I'm wading through for Melody's directions.


Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.

WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.

Plan B has set me free.

"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
Caracal #2619316 04/26/12 07:05 AM
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Great job!!! Keep up the good work.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2619318 04/26/12 07:09 AM
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Thanks ML. Probably going to talk to a lawyer today just in case it goes that far. But I told her last night I didn't believe in divorce and I told her if she wanted to be with the OM then I wanted full custody of the kids.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2619323 04/26/12 07:22 AM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
Thanks ML. Probably going to talk to a lawyer today just in case it goes that far. But I told her last night I didn't believe in divorce and I told her if she wanted to be with the OM then I wanted full custody of the kids.

That was a perfect response. And I very much agree you should see an attorney today because her next step will likely be a stunt to get you booted. You MUST go to Walmart and get a little pocket recorder if you don't have one. Have it on you at all times.

Keep up the good work!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


totally2confused #2619324 04/26/12 07:24 AM
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Have you done all your exposures? If not, I would wrap that up today so you can focus on other things.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2619330 04/26/12 07:42 AM
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All exposures are done. Sent letters to her mom, sister, her uncle which is like a father figure to her, sent letters to my aunts, cousins,and my parents.

Sent letters to OM mom, sister, aunt, and some close friends I knew he had.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2619332 04/26/12 07:45 AM
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Very good.. You planned this out well.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


totally2confused #2619356 04/26/12 10:40 AM
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OM's sister is no help. She told me it takes 2 to tango and I responded I know but I needed help on their end and then she responded back sorry it was between me and my WW.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2619381 04/26/12 11:26 AM
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That's cool. Some people are not going to help you and that is to be expected.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


totally2confused #2619449 04/26/12 03:26 PM
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Back at home. WW doesn't know yet. She hasn't made it home. Let's see what happens. Got an appointment with lawyer tomorrow.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2619452 04/26/12 03:32 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
Back at home. WW doesn't know yet. She hasn't made it home. Let's see what happens. Got an appointment with lawyer tomorrow.

Good, finally. What Plan A action do you have planned? House clean, dinner made?

Have you heard anything back from your exposure?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



totally2confused #2619454 04/26/12 03:38 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
Back at home. WW doesn't know yet. She hasn't made it home. Let's see what happens. Got an appointment with lawyer tomorrow.

Have you officially moved home? I am confused. I thought you already did that. You are doing that now? Please bring me up to speed. thanks!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


totally2confused #2619516 04/26/12 07:06 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
Back at home. WW doesn't know yet. She hasn't made it home. Let's see what happens. Got an appointment with lawyer tomorrow.
t2c, did you get that VAR like you've been told? I certainly hope so.

Also, is this POSOM on parole or what? With us both living in South Carolina and having the law on our side, we have some unique weapons at our disposal that others just don't have.


Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


Viper #2619550 04/26/12 09:09 PM
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Miss Bliss (dang it, did it again!) is right though. Without running the risk of getting someone in serious trouble there is no real way to run a plate.
It's okay, Wes - I agree, it does rhyme nicely smile

I dated a cop back in my twenties. He could run a plate, but it was all recorded by the computer in his car and his precinct. It HAD to be related to a legitimate police call. ie, he couldn't just pick a random plate on the street to run.

I know we have posters on this site who work with police and sheriff's departments - hopefully they can correct me if I'm wrong.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

maritalbliss #2619551 04/26/12 09:22 PM
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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Quote
Miss Bliss (dang it, did it again!) is right though. Without running the risk of getting someone in serious trouble there is no real way to run a plate.
It's okay, Wes - I agree, it does rhyme nicely smile

I dated a cop back in my twenties. He could run a plate, but it was all recorded by the computer in his car and his precinct. It HAD to be related to a legitimate police call. ie, he couldn't just pick a random plate on the street to run.

I know we have posters on this site who work with police and sheriff's departments - hopefully they can correct me if I'm wrong.
mb (I'll go back to proper address now), I have a "friend" whose wife is on the force and he told me 4 or 5 years ago they were severely cracking down on this kind of abuse of power. He used to get his wife to do it just for chuckles for him, although for the life of me I can't figure out why that would bring amusement to anyone. Anyway, cops started losing jobs over it and it came to a screeching halt because helping a friend with something like this wasn't worth ruining your career over.


Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


Viper #2619563 04/26/12 09:45 PM
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I'll back this... I can access someone's criminal history in my job. Years ago I remember my supervisor checking out any potential date to ensure he wasn't a sex offender crazy Think she'd been in the job too long.

You can't do it so easy these days. Every time I access someone's convictions it is logged and I have to provide a reason.

I work with Sheriffs as well, same deal. If caught doing something dodgy, your job is at risk.

Although there are still those who do take the risk. I know someone who managed to get a friend to run a history on his ex-wife's OM. There were pages of it...


Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.

WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.

Plan B has set me free.

"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
maritalbliss #2619648 04/27/12 05:58 AM
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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Quote
Miss Bliss (dang it, did it again!) is right though. Without running the risk of getting someone in serious trouble there is no real way to run a plate.
It's okay, Wes - I agree, it does rhyme nicely smile

I dated a cop back in my twenties. He could run a plate, but it was all recorded by the computer in his car and his precinct. It HAD to be related to a legitimate police call. ie, he couldn't just pick a random plate on the street to run.

I know we have posters on this site who work with police and sheriff's departments - hopefully they can correct me if I'm wrong.

Yes, it is a violation of policy which can result in discipline or termination. In some circumstances it can also lead to additional criminal charges.

For CPIC (Canadian database) and NCIC (the American database), you are required to detail each inquiry (plate, person, etc) with a specific reason for the search (you need to actually write - "registered owner reporting this plate stolen" or whatever. There are frequent and random audits, and whoever makes the inquiry has the inquiry stamped with their name.

If you must legitimately query your wife, husband, friend, family -> it is considered proper practice to ask a co-worker to do so, which I have had to do. It absolves you of any liability and quite frankly most of us don't want to read that anyways!

There are also secret ghost inquiries attached... so if you decide to query Britney Spears or whatever, you will have federal authorities calling within minutes asking you what/why. I had to do this for a celebrity once (legitimate reason) and the feds knew in minutes! LOL!

Bottom line - DON'T DO IT, NOT WORTH IT!!!

These records can be searched legitimately within reason if you hire a private investigator that goes through proper legal avenues (all provinces/states have freedom of information/public record laws).

Hope that helps smile

Last edited by alis; 04/27/12 05:59 AM.
alis #2619655 04/27/12 07:48 AM
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Update...

Moved back into the house last night. WW wanted to leave and take the lids but I wouldn't let her take the kids. So she called her mother and her mother came over and told me to let them take the kids. I told her no that the boys were staying right here. She threaten to call the cops and I told her to go ahead that I wasn't doing anything wrong. WW wife finally decided to stay because she knew she couldn't make me leave. She slept in the oldest boy room and I slept in the youngest boy room because I couldn't bring myself to sleep in the bed where they had been. I think the marriage is over because her family doesn't think she done any thing wrong. WW mom told my dad I was a sorry man for not letting go and leaving. Her mom also said I was making things worse. Do I believe what they say, nope. It just hurts that people can think that way in a situation like this.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2619656 04/27/12 07:54 AM
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I am so dang proud of you for standing your ground!! You stayed there and defended your kids!! Can I give you a big hug? hug

And the marriage is not over until the fat lady sings. Your marriage has a better chance today than it did yesterday. It might not work out, but at the very least you are in your home protecting your children.

And shame, shame, shame on her mother! For her to condone her daughters adultery is shameful and uncaring.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


totally2confused #2619657 04/27/12 07:57 AM
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Please contact a lawyer today in case your wife tries to boot you out. We have had wives call the police and say they "feel scared" and were able to get restraining orders.

Can you take the day off work and stay there with your boys?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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