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You are still in your home, right?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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After reading those threads I feel like the united states has some stupid laws. I'm just pissed because it seems like she is going to win the battle and she is the one that has done all the wrong things. She is going to see her lawyer Wednesday but the only thing she can do is file for separation because she has no grounds for divorce here in South Carolina. She will have to file for separation and wait a year before she can get a divorce. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. T2, Im in SC as well. You need to file first. A couple things, if adultery is proven, it prevents you from paying alimony in SC. It puts you in charge of things. If divorce is where your headed, that can be accomplished 91 days from the date of the temporary hearing. If you are not headed that route....by all means drag your feet.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Be the first to file. It doesnt mean you follow thru on a divorce, just puts you more in charge of things.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Thanks LR! totallyconfused, you are in a very advantageous position because of your wife's adultery. You need to capitalize on that. File for divorce on grounds of adultery, keep your home and maintain primary custody of your kids. Then DRAG out the divorce.
You need to get moving, because she is going to get you booted out of your home. Tell that lawyer to move his [censored] and make it happen. If he can't do that, then find another lawyer.
See, a lawyers only goal is to facilitate an amicable divorce. They are lazy and don't give a crap about your marriage. You have to tell him what you expect and tell him to make it happen.
File on gruonds of adultery, and name the OM. Then get a RO against him to keep that rat out of your house.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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t2c, you also need to let POSOM know (through whatever channel possible) that with adultery being a felony in the state of SC that continued contact with your WW may be a violation of his parole. I've got a feeling this guy isn't too bright and that once he becomes aware of this he may be quite disinclined to maintain contact. You already mentioned he shied away from you when you confronted him due to him not wanting any trouble because of his prison time. Create more trouble. Make her not worth the effort to him.
Like Mel said, you have her AND him by the balls. You just need to start squeezing a little harder.
You have absolutely nothing to lose by trying. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work.
But what if it does?
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Also, spend the money for a PI. 3rd party documentatiom helps you.....if this goes to court. That will aid in her character as a mother and person. Also, start lining up character witnesses for yourself. The more the better. This will aid you IF it comes down to a custody issue. Hopefully this will all turn around for you and you can be in recovery, if not.....be prepared to fight....get yourself in a good position with lots, lots of documentation.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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I have records of the numbers she's been Texting, I have a letter where she admits to an affair, I have pictures of him inside my house, I have his mugshot picture. I guess I need to find out if i can prosecute him, I know I can prosecute her.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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t2c, I wasn't suggesting prosecuting anyone. I was suggesting using the mere threat of it to POSOM as a tool to motivate him to back off. That law hasn't been prosecuted in probably 20 years or so. But he doesn't know that, and he certainly doesn't know what it could possibly do to his parole. I seriously doubt she means that much to him to be honest. The goal is to attack this POS with everything you have, and you have a lot to work with. You already have him on the run a little. You just need to keep pushing.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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I have records of the numbers she's been Texting, I have a letter where she admits to an affair, I have pictures of him inside my house, I have his mugshot picture. I guess I need to find out if i can prosecute him, I know I can prosecute her. You need to be prepared to go to WAR against the affair if you want to save your marriage. You have to stop surrendering when you see a smoke signal. You have already won the war if you will just suit up and get in there and clear the field. The OM doesn't have a chance. Are you in your home???
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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And I hope you have those records in a very safe place so your wife doesn't destroy them. You need to also password protect your computer.
Are you in your home???
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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All the stuff is on my parents computer.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Are you still in your home?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Are you still in your home? Are you still in your home?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Another one of OM friends sent me a message on Facebook asking what in the world is going on. How should I respond back to her. Also my WW has gotten back on Facebook but I'm no longer her friend.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Another one of OM friends sent me a message on Facebook asking what in the world is going on. How should I respond back to her. Also my WW has gotten back on Facebook but I'm no longer her friend. Are you still at your home? Tell them the truth, your exposure response.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Another one of OM friends sent me a message on Facebook asking what in the world is going on. How should I respond back to her. Also my WW has gotten back on Facebook but I'm no longer her friend. I found OW's friends that contacted me either wanted to justify the affair, or were seeking education. It was a tough call on the responses to some, but then, they were 21-year-old's. If she is asking a question, answer. Some of those I exposed to were clearly on the fence and seeking clarification. Give it to them. Remain polite and re-iterate the request for them to use influence on OM to end the affair as you wish to recover your marriage. I always thanked them for taking the time to respond (those that were seeking clarification anyways). Remember, it is easier to ignore exposure. Those who respond are showing something. It deserves acknowledgment (unless it is abusive).
Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.
Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Oh, and again, ARE YOU AT YOUR HOME???
We need to know this....
Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.
Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Still at home, kinda awkward and unsettling but still at home. This is what I sent OM friend. Maybe she will help since she is a little older than his sister. May be more mature.
" I want to thank you for your reply back. This is the husband of **edit**. **edit**has been having an affair with my wife for at least a month now. I am trying to save my marriage so I am asking for help in ending this affair."
Last edited by MBLBanker; 05/02/12 08:03 PM. Reason: Removing names
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Also, did you get to the lawyer and have them file for seperation for you first? This puts you in charge and you can drag your feet on it. Beat her to the punch. This can be handled on the phone with the lawyer. She is seeing her lawyer tomorrow right? Protect yourself and your children.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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calling him today. Also noticed today that she has been getting back all her old pictures from her mom. Does this mean anything.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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