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totally2confused #2621408 05/02/12 01:12 PM
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The past?? Wasn't it like a week ago?


Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
totally2confused #2621409 05/02/12 01:17 PM
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Also? Your wife? Gets no peace.

My spouse asked for a divorce. It lasted about 12 hours. After I explained he would never have a private conversation with me again, we would not be friends, and I would fight for full custody with everything I had - he was suddenly quite different.

It ruined his fantasy of a happy divorce. Although now he says he is horrified he ever said any of what he said.


Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
totally2confused #2621410 05/02/12 01:18 PM
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Did you let her know her OM has a gf?



"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
RidicSit #2621411 05/02/12 01:18 PM
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Your right ridicsit, it was only a week ago.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
RidicSit #2621414 05/02/12 01:23 PM
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Originally Posted by RidicSit
Also? Your wife? Gets no peace.

My spouse asked for a divorce. It lasted about 12 hours. After I explained he would never have a private conversation with me again, we would not be friends, and I would fight for full custody with everything I had - he was suddenly quite different.

It ruined his fantasy of a happy divorce. Although now he says he is horrified he ever said any of what he said.

Exactly.

No sunday dinners. No more family christmas. You wont be her friend. You wont hand her everything on a silver platter with a smile on your face while she has her hand on your wallet.


"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
Logans_Run #2621473 05/02/12 02:49 PM
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Yes I told her the OM had a girlfriend and she the proceeded to tell me it was over, she was done discussing him. I don't think she is happy that the shoe is on the other foot.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2621620 05/02/12 06:59 PM
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Mel, the girlfriend of the other man sent me this about three hours ago.

"Ok one thing I would like to say though, It takes 2 to do what you are accusing them of. He was open and honest with me about it when I asked. I do honestly hope you and your wife can work things out. I don't know her and don't care to. I appreciate you trying to warn me of him but I already knew but please if there is more to it than I was told you are more than welcome to send me a message. god bless"

Do I need to pursue this any further with her or let it be?


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2621625 05/02/12 07:05 PM
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The first thing I would send her is your WW's cell phone number and suggest she call your WW right in front of him. That would be quite interesting to be a fly on the wall for.

And just "what" did she already know? That little phone call may clear up a lot of little things.


Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


Viper #2621629 05/02/12 07:20 PM
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How on earth does the girlfriend know he's open and honest? LOL

As she goes on- you can tell she is unsure. You've planted the seed. Good job.

I would tell her what you saw- and give her your wife's cell number.


Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
totally2confused #2621638 05/02/12 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
Mel, the girlfriend of the other man sent me this about three hours ago.
"Ok one thing I would like to say though, It takes 2 to do what you are accusing them of. He was open and honest with me about it when I asked. I do honestly hope you and your wife can work things out. I don't know her and don't care to. I appreciate you trying to warn me of him but I already knew but please if there is more to it than I was told you are more than welcome to send me a message. god bless"
Do I need to pursue this any further with her or let it be?
Did you give OM's GF all the details of your WW's affair and her BF? This was three weeks ago, correct?
Is OM and GF still together? Is he the guy you caught in your home? If so did you send GF copies if the pictures?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



totally2confused #2621639 05/02/12 07:36 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
Mel, the girlfriend of the other man sent me this about three hours ago.

"Ok one thing I would like to say though, It takes 2 to do what you are accusing them of. He was open and honest with me about it when I asked. I do honestly hope you and your wife can work things out. I don't know her and don't care to. I appreciate you trying to warn me of him but I already knew but please if there is more to it than I was told you are more than welcome to send me a message. god bless"

Do I need to pursue this any further with her or let it be?

That is confusing. What EXACTLY did you tell her? Dd the OM spin this to her? Does she know this was a romantic affair?

I would respond to her and thank her for the message. Tell her you will let her know if you have any new news and ask her to let you know if she hears of any contact. Give her your wife's cell # and tell her to watch for that.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2621647 05/02/12 07:50 PM
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This what I sent her earlier today.

" I want to apologize for taking so long to reply back. It has been a very stressfull week. I have text message records showing where they texted back and forth for three hours straight and one time at two oclock in the morning. He would be the last person she texted at night and the first person she texted in the morning. I can send these to you, just let me know how you would like to get them whether through Facebook or an email address. I also have I picture of him which he posted on Facebook wearing my sons otimus prime helmet with his shirt off inside my house. This picture showed up on his Facebook page on April 25th along with other pictures of him inside my house. This also the night I went back to my house at around 11 at night and when my wife opened the door he was lying on the bed with his shirt off. She was dressed in her night clothes and her hair was still wet from taking a shower. I made him leave and then ask her if this was the guy she wanted to be with. She said she wasn't sure. I sorry this is happening and I wouldn't wish it on anybody in the world but I felt you should know although I thought you and Adam were just good friends at the time and not dating."

I think she has WW's number because she knew they were Texting back and forth. I just don't think she knew they were Texting that much.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2621663 05/02/12 08:14 PM
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Good job on getting back to her and giving her the info.

I would ask her if she wants your WW's number to check records again. She may have deleted your WW's number from her memory.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



totally2confused #2622327 05/04/12 12:10 PM
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This is my song. I like the second verse about the word impossible.

Please listen.



Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2622332 05/04/12 12:26 PM
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tc, is this the first time you have told her you caught them in bed together?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2622342 05/04/12 12:47 PM
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Yes, this was the first time I told her. That day was the first I had caught them in bed. The girlfriend of the OM said he told her about everything but I'm not sure about that since I don't know what he told her. There has been only two times that my WW and OM have contacted each other since that night and the texts between them only last a couple minutes. She wants to work out a deal so it doesn't cost that much for lawyers but I'm not in the mood for deals unless it is how to fix our marriage. I just need to know what would be my next step since she said no to the email I sent her.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2622403 05/04/12 02:19 PM
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Keep repeating "I talk marriage, my lawyer talks divorce"

Make it clear that you aren't working any "deal" with her. That you will go for full custody and have her charged with adultery.

Didn't you say you're in SC and that adultery is punishable by law? Play this card, my friend.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



totally2confused #2622408 05/04/12 02:24 PM
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Originally Posted by totally2confused
She wants to work out a deal so it doesn't cost that much for lawyers but I'm not in the mood for deals unless it is how to fix our marriage. I just need to know what would be my next step since she said no to the email I sent her.

I would let know "no deals." Tell her you have turned all that over to your attorney and are going to let him handle the whole thing.

What was the email you sent her?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


totally2confused #2622420 05/04/12 02:41 PM
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This is the email I sent Mel...

"Dear WW,

I am writing this to let you know I still love you and still would like to work on our marriage. I am willing forgive you if you will end the affair. I am willing to forget the past and look towards the future and begin our new lifetogether if you are willing to end the affair with no contact. I am still madly in love with you but I can not continue to fight for our marriage if you continue down the road you are on.

If the affair does not end and you are not willing to work on the marriage then you will leave me with no choice but to filefordivorce on the grounds of adultery. I will havethe courts to subpoena OM to appear in court. I will also have them subpoena all the text message records between you and the OM. I do not want it to come down to this but if the affair does not end then you leave me no choice.

I will leave you with this...

I _____, take you ______, to bemy wedded wife/husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.

This is the pledge I took and I will honor it if you are willing to honor it.

I love you!"


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2622422 05/04/12 02:44 PM
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oh ok! You showed me that. Now you have said what needed to be said so you have planted the seed. Just stick to your guns and be patient, patient, patient.... smile


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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