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Conversation,admiration ,affection and financial
Conversation is the only thing she is willing to do.We enjoy light conversations but since the A,we dont have much to talk about.She is very cautious about what we talk about now.Mostly just about business.When it gets personal,she would get up and do something else.
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Bestplayer,do you have a story to share with us?What is your sitch?
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Conversation,admiration ,affection and financial
Conversation is the only thing she is willing to do.We enjoy light conversations but since the A,we dont have much to talk about.She is very cautious about what we talk about now.Mostly just about business.When it gets personal,she would get up and do something else. Admiration is an easy one. So what are you doing for that one? For Conversation have you read these? Conversation Conversation is Boring Are you committing any Lovebusters at all?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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For admiration,I tried to give her compliments as much as I can.But I admit I still need to improve my game.Sometimes when she gives me fogbabble,I would tend to ridicule her.I need to ignore her instead.
I dont think I am committing any lovebusters except when I get angry at her nonsense but I am getting that under control now.I will completely eliminate that too.
I remember from Melodys posts that plan A success rate is low...do u know the %?Was it 15%?
Last edited by xtremepain; 05/08/12 10:59 AM.
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Have you heard back from Dr. Harley yet?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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nothing yet,BH.
WW resurrected her once short lived 2nd secret life again.Changed pw.New accounts.Very hard to verify NC now.
She is pulling away emotionally day by day.My plan A has no substance...no UA and she wont allow to have any of her ENs met by me.
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Plan A success rate is that low? Is Plan B success rate any higher? If not, then how can we call this program successful?
Married: 22 years Me: BW 41 Him: WH 43 Sons: 19, 17, 12 Daughter: 16 DD 8/09 EA started 8/08 PA started 7/09 Brief recovery of a few months in there. Separated 10/10 Legal Separation 8/11 Plan B 5/17/12 Plan D 5/31/12 My Story
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This is so strange. Are you using the same email that you registered with? This isn't like the Harleys??
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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i think JustUss mentioned that his wife was ill.
Its not the same email that I had registered with.
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i think JustUss mentioned that his wife was ill.
Its not the same email that I had registered with. That may be part of the problem can you check your other email account?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Plan A success rate is that low? Is Plan B success rate any higher? If not, then how can we call this program successful? rainysweet, Marriage builders is not a marriage at all costs. Even if M aren't saved MB has saved people. In my eyes that's a success. Where the plan is almost guaranteed by Dr. Harley is IF the program is worked exactly as he has laid it out with no deviations. Plus you must have two people completely committed. The plan I recommend for recovery after an affair is very specific. That's because I've found that even small deviations from that plan are usually disastrous. But when it's followed, it always works. The plan has two parts that must be implemented sequentially. The first part of the plan is for the unfaithfulspouseto completely separate from the lover and eliminate the conditions that made the affair possible. The second part is for the couple to create a romantic relationship,using my Basic Concepts as a guide.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I believe I read that plan A is successful in ending the affair by itself only 15% of the time. But that overall plan A has about a 50% success rate. Perhaps Mel or someone can clarify this again.
Me: BH
Marriage: 22 years
2 kids
D-Day 5 Sept 2011
EA w OM started Fall 2010, PA w OM Spring 2011, OM died end Sept 2011
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What do you mean by overall plan A?Do you mean plan A+B=50% success rate?
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Just found out WW resumed contact with OM with new fb acct.She said OM got a D.I dont understand why they are being so secretive about it.WW already told me she is staying with me for just a few more months to settle business matters.I messaged OMW to verify D but she hasnt replied.
OM asked WW to keep A underground.I think OM lied about the D,otherwise whats the need to hide from me.
Last edited by xtremepain; 05/11/12 08:59 AM.
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Just found out WW resumed contact with OM with new fb acct.She said OM got a D.I dont understand why they are being so secretive about it.WW already told me she is staying with me for just a few more months to settle business matters.I messaged OMW to verify D but she hasnt replied.
OM asked WW to keep A underground.I think OM lied about the D,otherwise whats the need to hide from me. She's in your house under your roof. You have 3-6 months to help her out of the fog. How is it she has any access to a computer? I would cut off all access or sit right by her. Do not let her.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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When she was out of the fog temporarily right after the expo,she bought a new laptop so she could occupy herself with games and movies instead.She even promised to just do that without any internet access.
Since she is a full blown addict now,if I cut off her access,I would imagine things would get very ugly.
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When she was out of the fog temporarily right after the expo,she bought a new laptop so she could occupy herself with games and movies instead.She even promised to just do that without any internet access.
Since she is a full blown addict now,if I cut off her access,I would imagine things would get very ugly. If you want to fight and save this M you're going to have to stop enabling her.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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My exposure was not massive.I just exposed to OMW and her friends.WW told her mom and some of her friends.She got support from some and ignore those who lectured her. Would it help to expose again?
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My exposure was not massive.I just exposed to OMW and her friends.WW told her mom and some of her friends.She got support from some and ignore those who lectured her. Would it help to expose again? Well your WW is still in her affair because she is contacting him again. I would cut off her Internet access. You've been enabling her far too long. You aren't in Plan A you're in Plan doormat. You fought us on exposure and when you finally did it was just a small one. You act like you're beaten but you have a huge leg up because your WW is still at home and OM is in another country. We have many BH that their WW's have moved out and are fighting for their M. She gets ugly you say "I will not live in a M with three people and You will NOT conduct your affair in my house" You walk around and keep telling her this. If she starts to yell and scream have an exit plan ready. If she lays a hand on you be prepared to call the cops.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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