Here you go.
Polygraph Testing

Yes I ran that and found his business but still cannot find an email for the guy. His business address, like hers, is their home address. I know it is a home because I google mapped it and zoomed in and it is a house. The business phone listed is their home phone. Any advice on how to expose to him based on the home address?

Unwritten and Brainhurts,

Thank you for the poly info. Taking this step would be huge and eliminate any doubts. Why am I so afraid to force this on him?

Do either of you know if when we have a session with Harley if we get to talk to him alone? I want to ask him about exposure and a polygraph.

Certified mail?

Or why don't you call and ask for him? You can block your number if she answers. Since it's his business you could call like you're a customer until you get him on the phone??

Yes, Steve talks to each of you alone.

You are afraid to require it as part of his committment to recovery (notice the verbiage change there...) because you want to cling to the nice feelings you are experiencing with this seemingly newfound commitment on his part. You fear that if you require this, he will say no and you will know that he has more secrets, or that he will fail it and prove he has more secrets. Perhaps you are afraid because your gut is telling you something, and it is easier to just ignore it and continue the nice feelings, even if only temporary.

I HOPE your sitch is not like mine. I hope your WH has given you all the information already. You will know the minute you ask him to take a poly, by his reaction.

I was going to suggest also calling the house. Have a script prepared in advance to read off of, as if you are a telemarketer, so that if the OW answers you can just read from the script until she hangs up on you or says no to the buy one get one free snuggie deal... That way if she answers you will not raise suspicion on her part.

Yes this is correct. Yes my gut is telling me something, and yes I am too scared to do anything about this. I just cannot even think about how I am going to tell him I want a poly. That wording just doesn't even come to mind and I am scared. I want to believe the best, but ever since he started this career 13 years ago, I have had a gut feeling he has betrayed me physically. I want to believe he hasn't and I'm not sure I can handle the truth. I'm terrified of the truth.

My hope is Harley can help me know what to do.

This sounds like a great idea. I've looked up how to block my number from their caller ID. Just want to get to him, not her.

I have begun tweaking the exposure letters for our situation. Also trying to parent a busy toddler, which is hard. It would be simple if I didn't have to be a mom full time.

Careful if you're calling a toll free (800) number. Caller ID block doesn't work when you call those.

I ask for your feedback regarding this letter to the OW BS:

Dear OW BS:

It is with deep regret that I must inform you that your wife has had an emotional affair with my husband from approximately April 2011 to February 21, 2012. Their relationship changed from business associate to good friend when they were in "a city" together with "their company" in April 2011.

Your wife was then my husband�s mentor for the XXXXX with their company starting in August 2011. I have proof of hundreds of texts exchanged between your wife and my husband that were not within the scope of XXXXX and the two of them crossed a line that should have stayed strictly business as his mentor, 95% of the texts initiated by your wife. I have proof of the content of most of the November and December 2011 texts, although some were deleted by him. I feel it is my duty to report these interactions as you need to know who you are married to and what types of things she does without your knowledge. I also encourage you to check your wife�s cell phone records immediately, and secretly, so that you can avoid her covering her tracks.

In February, I asked that my husband send your wife an email changing their means of communication from text messages to business phone or email only. After this, she never contacted him again and then left the XXXXX program, from what I understand. My fear is that by exposing this information to her, that she will again contact my husband and I do not want him to be contacted ever again.

Please contact me via email or cell phone if you have any questions.
Thank you,
BS

Read this aloud to yourself.
It is a bit clumsy.
It needs to be clearer.

Try getting your point across without sounding fearful.

Help with this one also. Exposure to his 3 employees:

Dear XXX, YYY, and ZZZ,

It is with deep regret that I must inform you of an inappropriate relationship my husband has had with his work mentor, OW. When I discovered the emotional affair, H attempted to change the relationship from a secret friend back to a business relationship, however, OW dropped out of the XXXXX Program as his mentor. I believe this is solely due to him cutting off her contact with him via texting. Due to the inappropriate nature of the texts, I have asked that H no longer use text as a way to communicate for business with persons of the opposite sex. I hope you can respect this boundary.

I would ask that you use your influence with H to persuade him to keep his business relationships strictly business and hold him accountable for any actions that are beyond the scope of conducting business. I also ask that XXXX and ZZZZZ be sure to understand that your relationship is not one of friendship with H, but strictly business in nature and to keep within this boundary to protect yourselves and your relationships with your own spouses.

If you have any questions or comments regarding this relationship or any other relationship H has had in the past, please know that my door is open and you can contact me anytime and this will be kept confidential.

Thank you,
BW

For example:

"Neither my husband nor myself will tolerate contact of any sort from your wife."

Okay I like that. Changing that part.

Rule of thumb when writing this sort of letter to the other BS.
Leave out emotional embellishment.

Any other emotional embellishment that I can't see? Help! Want to make this good. Is there too much info in the letter? Is it too long? How can I simplify?

No.
I wrote that for other MB readers.

Ok. Thank you!