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You chose to come to us for help, but you would like to dictate the terms under which we can give it, and tell us how to give it.
This is akin to showing up at a hospital and offering to tell the neurosurgeon how to perform brain surgery.
Please drop the defensiveness. Please internalize what we've said ( and JenniferVoyager is spot on why some of us are calling you an active wayward ). Take a big step back- and imagine what we are seeing.
Using your misguided interpretation of religion, and denying the validity of what we are seeing in you is going to result in just one thing. Failure.
Also? We get it. You're in China. That doesn't stop you from progressing and accepting the truth. We have people from all over the world. It's just an excuse you're throwing up . We don't handle those well.
Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
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Joined: Feb 2010
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*bangs head on table*
Whomever said you were blogging was spot on.
Good luck with all of that.
Oy.
Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 9
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OP
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Great segment! Thanks for the link.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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What are your plans, Chinagirl? How do you intend to affair-proof and rebuild your marriage?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: May 2012
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OP
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Joined: May 2012
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You chose to come to us for help, but you would like to dictate the terms under which we can give it, and tell us how to give it.
This is akin to showing up at a hospital and offering to tell the neurosurgeon how to perform brain surgery. You're comparing yourself to a NEUROSURGEON? I choose how I am treated. You are not a friend, nor family nor professional, obviously. Please drop the attitude. I don't handle that well. I wonder, if you weren't hiding behind a computer screen, if you would say such a thing to my face, having not known me for a minute. How many times do I have to admit to my sins? I'm not admitting them to your liking? I discovered this site two weeks ago. I was thrilled to have found it. Interpret my responses however you'd like, but I will be dealing with the professionals from now on. I guess I'm just not as good as all of you. My fog is quite thick in your mind's eye. We will make it. I know that.
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Joined: Nov 2010
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What is your plan?
What EP's are you going to implement in your M?
What are you doing to affair proof yore M?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: May 2012
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I guess I'm not cut out for this type of tough love.
Well then, hold on to your bonnet, because NG just got here!. This makes you sound credible...and like some sort of superhero.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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You chose to come to us for help, but you would like to dictate the terms under which we can give it, and tell us how to give it.
This is akin to showing up at a hospital and offering to tell the neurosurgeon how to perform brain surgery. You're comparing yourself to a NEUROSURGEON? I choose how I am treated. You are not a friend, nor family nor professional, obviously. Please drop the attitude. I don't handle that well. I wonder, if you weren't hiding behind a computer screen, if you would say such a thing to my face, having not known me for a minute. If you want people here to help you, YOU need to drop the snotty attitude. You came here asking US for help; we didn't ask you for anything. We don't have to help you. If you want people to help you, then you need to show a little gratitude. I am certain you did not misunderstand Ridicsit's point and know she was not comparing herself to a neurosurgeon. And yes you might choose how you are treated, but so do others choose how they are treated. If you are snotty and dictatorial, folks aren't likely to stick around and tolerate your crap.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am certain you did not misunderstand Ridicsit's point and know she was not comparing herself to a neurosurgeon. And yes you might choose how you are treated, but so do others choose how they are treated. If you are snotty and dictatorial, folks aren't likely to stick around and tolerate your crap. Helloooo! ITA. China, who do you think YOU are? Ridic obviously wasn't comparing herself to a neurosurgeon. DUH! You REALLY thought that?? I don't think so, because you don't sound totally stupid, and that would be the impression of a totally stupid person. You obviously have a chip on your shoulder, which is entirely your business. You'll have to lose that if you have any interest at all in rebuilding your marriage. If you DON'T want to lose that chip, you face a very tough uphill battle to recover your marriage. Your call.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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This makes you sound credible...and like some sort of superhero.At last, the recognition I deserve! ![[Linked Image from reviews.cnet.com]](http://reviews.cnet.com/i/bto/20091002/mighty-mouse_48x49.jpg) CG, if I told you that NOBODY here wants anything except to help you get through your current situation, and emerge on the other side with a strong, loving, supportive, and growing marriage, would you believe me? The colleagues here bring varied talents and methods to bear. LISTEN TO EACH ONE, PLEASE. DO NOT ARGUE WITH THEM! Sort through the wrapping, and you'll find a remarkably consistent thread of content connecting each one. We have been (in some way, manner, shape, or form) in your situation. We are no longer there. That should be what you want, so consider following the path we lay out for you.
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