Married people should not spend nights apart.

Married people that had an afffair should never spend nights apart ever.

Go have a good time. Your FIL and WH are going to spend all their time fishing and bowling. And you do these things as well.

Now can WH and FIL have some alone time while there? Yes.

Ok that's what I said. I'm glad I was correct in what I was thinking.

I told him that if you guys want to have some alone time I will be just fine doing whatever until you are done.

Thanks.

I would go with him and just help him have the best trip with his Dad, he is aging, it would be great if you could help him with a great memory of that time together.
He will appreciate your support and understanding.........
Take care of the two men, make it a great trip for your husband.......
Have fun...........

Thanks jessitaylor that was exactly what I'm thinking.

I'm going to tell him this will be such a fun trip and you and your dad will have a blast.

I guess I was more confused than anything because the last time we went and saw his dad I was the one that hung out with his dad while he spent time with his brother. We were there for his uncle's funeral and so it wasn't under the best of circumstances.

I still have a real challenge with him being O&H with me. I have been listening to the radio show and I've heard many a show where Dr. Harley explains about our reactiion to the spouse when they are trying to be honest and I definitely think that was my issue.

A work in progress and thank you again.

Wow BH, that is a lot to deal with. I would get the polygraph to air out the dirty laundry. It seems like there is a need you are not meeting and he isn't telling you what that is or how to meet that need. I would definitely go to big Texas with him, ha can't be alone, boundaries are not firm enough.

Good Luck, and God be with you.

Thanks INTERNAL_PAIN,

I appreciate the look in.

Well I'm definitely going to TX with him and that isn't even an option anymore. I just keep saying we are going to have so much fun did you see that shot on the game. We are avid sport's lovers so we are always watching sports.

I have asked many times for the polygraph and have even stated I will get one also. This is all to no avail.

I am working on getting ready for Plan B that will take alot of hurdles to do. Dr. Harley said I can not Plan B properly working at the same company on the same shift and so I'm trying to get over this first hurdle.

I have asked many times what needs am I not meeting, and he says there are none.

I also think my WH may be a freeloader/renter and may never get to the buyer.

I had alot of cleaning up on my side of the street and so that is what I've been focusing on and his many health issues.

I can only change me and I keep looking at myself to see what I may be missing.

I have come along ways with my AO and they are a thing of the past. My boundaries are sewed up tight.

Thanks again.

BH, you have been a great help with the radio clips and all other links. A true librarian, really Sometimes I wonder where do you take all this time from. How is it going in your marriage?

ditto! BH, you have been an incredible resource and source of support for everyone on this board. i hope that your trip went well, and that things are looking brighter. please update us.

Yep a big thanks to BrainHurts from me too! Have just read some of your thread BH... and hope things are going well for you and your H.

You must be too busy helping others out by replying to our posts to update us about yourself!

Thanks from me too. I am not good on finding the right radio clips, and you pointing us (and me) in the right direction is much appreciated.

Sooo... an update on your own sitch?

Haha thanks everyone. I love the radio show.

We're doing fantastic. We've both come a long way. Thanks for asking.

25 hrs of UA, share phone, email, facebook and know each others work email. We have affair proofed our M big time.

Work together on same shift so 24/7. He manages his meds and we do his DBT together.

Aaah, BH, I love an MB marital recovery story. I'm really happy for you both.

So you really are paying it forward, especially to a Plan B'er who is focussing on personal recovery. Thanks.

Thank you my friend.

Yes pay it forward hence the clips.

It's lovely to hear that you're doing very well

Thank you my friend.
And you?

Quite the same, thanks! We are 3 yrs now into recovery. Spending all the spare time together, started a business together. Sometimes slipping with the negotiation skills, especially me.

that is very good news! maybe you should update your sig line? it helps other BSs to know the programme works :O)

i'm very happy for you both!

my friend. Good job.

Mine was my anger. When I got mine under control what a huge difference.

Hi BH, I've been reading your thread, its great to have the update and be able to read about a MB success story.

I like many other MBers, have appreciated your advice, words of wisdom and your helpful links. I appreciate the time your give helping others.

I believe in "paying it forward", although I don't have the expertise of the vets or more "senior MBers", I like at least encouraging and supporting others, it really helps personal healing/recovery.

Thankyou again my friend for the time you give on MB.

Awww thanks my friend

We've been through a lot. From deployment, to huge anger problems to a blended family.

MB not only saved my M but my life.