My husband and I have been married 8 years and together 10. I was 17 when we first started dating and he was 20. I was young and stupid and put up with more than I probably should have. We moved in together when I was 18 and they first year he cheated. He got a BJ from a friend and I walked in on it. This friend moved across country so it was a little easier to believe the relationship was over but I still had trust issues.

Fast foward a couple of years and we were doing good. We spend a lot of time together, he was open about everything, i had/have access to everything (phone, email, etc).

Well here is were our recent problem starts. The past year we have had a very rough time. There are a lot of things that are emotional triggers. Him spending ours on video games and ignoring my needs is a big. He says he will not play on games before we spend time together but he still does. Sometimes when he picks his phone up I get this terrible feeling. I try not to get upset about it but its hard.

Another is the fact that we don't have sex much and every time i try he rejects me. He can reject me but that night he tries? I don't know if this is his way of controlling it or what but it hurts. Then he will say things about me not initiating or even say things like im a sex addict. Now when he jokes about those things it doesn't feel like a joke to me. It really hurts. Is it normal to be hurt by these things when you have been hurt in the past from it? How do get past this?

I have told him that I think if we try to build back trust and spend time together with just us then these things may not be such a big deal but I don't know for sure.

Welcome to Marriage Builders.

Why do you get a terrible feeling when he picks up his phone? Do you think he might be cheating?

Also listen to these radio clips about being addicted to playing video games.
Radio clip on addictions
Segment #2
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Because we have fights so much about his video games. He can play on his phone for hours and not think about anything else.

Did you listen to the clips?

Listen to this radio clip on complaining.
Radio clip on complaining