|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
Member
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
I don't think the possible OM would be with her at her parents. Small town, I've known her parents for over 20 years and they love me. If he were there and they were seen together I think her parents would freak. She's been there a few days helping her parents around the house. My IC and I both agree,if she was insome passionate affair she would not leave to visit her parents 3 hours away. I'm not sure what to think. Maybe there is an EA that hasn't developed? So how close is this OM to where she's at now? I bet she is talking with him.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 14
Junior Member
|
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 14 |
Yes, he would be in the city she moved to. But as my counselor and I discussed if this was some heavy duty new love why would she leave to visit her parents for a few days? Maybe she's telling them we're done and she's prepping them for the OM?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
Yes, he would be in the city she moved to. But as my counselor and I discussed if this was some heavy duty new love why would she leave to visit her parents for a few days? Maybe she's telling them we're done and she's prepping them for the OM? Yup. I am sure she's meeting the OM. She just has to find the right time and her parents wouldn't know. You need to expose this.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 14
Junior Member
|
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 14 |
I realize the importance of exposure and it's the key to start the unravelling for you MB veteran's. However, OM is divorced, my wife is in a new city and her parents are 3 hours away. I'm not sure what exposure is going to accomplish at this point. Who are they going to be uncomfortable in front of? Her parents are 75 years old, they're going to forgive her. They're not going to die hating their daughter because of me.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
I realize the importance of exposure and it's the key to start the unravelling for you MB veteran's. However, OM is divorced, my wife is in a new city and her parents are 3 hours away. I'm not sure what exposure is going to accomplish at this point. Who are they going to be uncomfortable in front of? Her parents are 75 years old, they're going to forgive her. They're not going to die hating their daughter because of me. Do you want to try and save your M? Did you read the exposure thread on what Dr. Harley says about exposure? Have you read SAA? John and Sue? Sue moved out and with her OM to have her affair.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 14
Junior Member
|
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 14 |
Yes I read it and I agree exposure is important. I'm just saying it might not be the first step in this situation due to the difficulty in getting solid proof and the effectiveness of it if there isn't really anyone to make them feel guilty.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
Yes I read it and I agree exposure is important. I'm just saying it might not be the first step in this situation due to the difficulty in getting solid proof and the effectiveness of it if there isn't really anyone to make them feel guilty. Listen to these radio clips of a wife moving out and Dr. Harley tells him she is most likely caring on her affair. Radio Clip on wife moving out and probably having an affair Segment #2 Segment #3
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,311
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,311 |
I never understand why people are reluctant to expose. You do it because its the best chance of saving your marriage. Without it the affair thrives in secrecy. Some affairs go on for years and children are born from the the affair partner without anyone's knowledge.
Shine the light of truth on this. There is no reason to procrastinate.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 14
Junior Member
|
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 14 |
Again I want to say I appreciate you folks taking the time to respond. I would have no problem exposing if I had proof. Did you read my response above? How would it be affective if there is essentially no one to expose to? Is this the only tool in your belt? I am asking if there is something I can do in the meantime. BTW, the page loads on the links you provided but the segments don't play for some reason. I hit play and nothing happens.
Last edited by Bugsyk; 05/23/12 01:13 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
Again I want to say I appreciate you folks taking the time to respond. I would have no problem exposing if I had proof. Did you read my response above? How would it be affective if there is essentially no one to expose to? Is this the only tool in your belt? I am asking if there is something I can do in the meantime. BTW, the page loads on the links you provided but the segments don't play for some reason. I hit play and nothing happens. Can you go to the radio archives to get them to play?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 14
Junior Member
|
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 14 |
It looks like you have to pay to listen to the archives.
Last edited by Bugsyk; 05/23/12 01:18 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
You need to subscribe I think - they don't work for me either.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
Again I want to say I appreciate you folks taking the time to respond. I would have no problem exposing if I had proof. Did you read my response above? How would it be affective if there is essentially no one to expose to? Is this the only tool in your belt? I am asking if there is something I can do in the meantime. BTW, the page loads on the links you provided but the segments don't play for some reason. I hit play and nothing happens. You can still expose to her parents and friends. You don't know if they will support her until you've told them the truth. She could be spinning a story of how awful a husband you were. I was surprised in some of the people that supported my exposure. The Husbands were very supportive and jumped my WH's b*tt.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
It looks like you have to pay to listen to the archives. You don't have to pay just sign up. That's weird because I could listen to the clips even before I signed up.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 278
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 278 |
Sometimes the clips load very slow, so trying waiting a minute or so.
Me: BH
Marriage: 22 years
2 kids
D-Day 5 Sept 2011
EA w OM started Fall 2010, PA w OM Spring 2011, OM died end Sept 2011
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
Sometimes the clips load very slow, so trying waiting a minute or so. Thanks Blackhawk. Did you have to sign up to hear the clips?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 278
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 278 |
I did sign up to hear them (and found them in tha archives since the links posted to me did not seem to work). But a few months later I clicked on a link again (not archived but posted like above), I got busy doing something else, then when I came back they were playing. Sometimes they load slowly for my computer. Perhaps this is a computer update or media player driver issue, don't know.
Me: BH
Marriage: 22 years
2 kids
D-Day 5 Sept 2011
EA w OM started Fall 2010, PA w OM Spring 2011, OM died end Sept 2011
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
1,190
guests, and
65
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
