Ditto Writer1

That's exactly how we handled our 2 adopted kids' interest in their DNA relatives.
Funny, after they were both 18, they have zero interest in finding the DNA folks. Both our kids are just too busy living interesting lives as young adults.

****edit*****

Geez TheRoad, that was harsh. W1 has pulled things together and is restoring her marriage. She has made efforts ALL of us BS's wish our WS's would make.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.....

Thanks JustUss........

Eh, whatever.

I was at Disneyland with my family all day, so I didn't see what TheRoad wrote. I'm assuming I didn't miss much.

I was just giving my experience as on OC as far as wanting to have contact with my bio father's family so that Opt. would know that not all OC's have the same desire to know about their biological heritage. Like Pep said, I'm just too busy living my life to concern myself too much with people I don't know and have no real connection too, other than DNA of course, which just doesn't seem that important to me.

And your experience that you shared with us about being an OC was very much appreciated.

So thank you.

I missed the fun. It's like going out from a party to get more beer and coming home to find the cops have cleared everyone out.

Writer and Gamma I appreciate all insights. As I said this is just not something that people talk about freely in normal everyday conversations, so I often feel all alone. It's good to know there are good people out there with similar experiences and that various paths can be taken.

I dated a girl once (literally once, boy did I screw that one up..., lol) who shared with me that she was adopted. She was like 20 and had pursued meeting her DNA mother. She said it was good but I'll never forget she was very clear: my parents that raised me are my real parents. There was no question in her mind.

cheers!
opt

Opt I wasn't an OC but I was a child born out of wedlock in 1965 (Bio dad wasn't interested and my mom just ran away from him and he didn't hear from her again I was 7)....and then my mom married a man and had my brother with him so he is mostly who I think of when I think of my 'dad'.

My mom was big on the truth. And while I appreciate that about her I wish she had told fewer people that I had a different father. It felt like it was my information to share.....it wouldnt have mattered in my case because I was a year old when she married my dad (not my bio dad)...but it did make me feel 'different'.

In the case of your dd she has the opportunity for no one to know until she is ready to tell. Explain to her that keeping that very private information private isn't a lie, but rather her right....and once she lets go of the information she can't pull it back in. I would tell her that. I would tell her that you request that she keep this information private until she is 18.

Of course she is curious. I certainly was. And eventually I was found by my half sister and she and I have bonded unbelievably. Not so much with bio dad, but we do speak when I go to visit my sister.

So as Writer pointed out, every situation is different and every person has a story. Your dd just has an unusual one.

Thanks for your insight SW. I believe I will have this conversation with DD. It goes along with the boundaries discussions we've had.
opt