The point of my long story is to suggest to you that your H's similarly long, cake-eating affair will not end unless it is made too difficult for it to continue. Men like my H and yours regret hurting their wives and desperately do not want to lose their kids, and neither do they want to choose some skanky, dirty woman who lacks self-respect and who, like a cockroach, will accept the droppings from underneath the table of some other woman's marriage, who allows married men to treat body her like a toilet, over their loving wives, but if sex is offered to them on a plate they will take it. There is no right or wrong in their world when it comes to free sex; just "worth it" and "not worth it".
Dragonfly - this right here drove the nail straight through the board.
I have been with my wife for 16 years, and this little explanation Sugar put out describes ME to a tee.
Now, I have remained faithful for our entire relationship and marriage, but it's because I am self-aware; if sex is offered on a plate, I will take it. So I STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THE BUFFET.
It was, in fact, my wife who had an affair, and she believed that SHE WOULD NEVER DO IT.
We are all capable of some form of infidelity if we allow others to meet our emotional needs (it has nothing to do with how well our spouse meets our emotional needs).
What you have going now is limiting the opportunity for needs to be met outside the marriage. THAT IS A GOOD THING.
The move will also be good... it will (excuse the expression) get the pig away from the trough.
