Star, I know the last few days haven't been easy to you.
Its sometimes hard without the contact but reading his letters is causing you so much pain and setting your recovery back.

I agree if the documents are for any legal matter then go through the lawyers.

Stay strong

If you read the message, this is contact. Plan B crack. It does set your recovery back. Bet you're hurting. I know one of my cracks in Plan B was about banking. I was so hurt that I was still bleeding on the floor, and WH was worried about BANKING!!!

No good comes from the cracks. It just delays our healing.

Star, if you last got contact on 26th (?) you have been no contact for less than two weeks.

You are going to die a death of a thousand cuts if you keep this up.

All waywards want this star. He is still an addict.

Now, what are you going to do to deal with future contact attempts from WH?

Tell us your plan. Be accountable.

AND... what colour are your nails?

Ok, thanks Indie! I'm not responding.

I'm going to continue to ignore him and forward anything like this in the future to my IM or attorney. I was doing ok until this happened. I actually had a good day yesterday at work and didn't cry once! Well, my eyes welled up with tears once after I received a sweet note from my FIL. He wanted me to know that he was thinking about me and loves me.

My toes are painted a gold color right now and my fingernails are plain. Trying to figure out what color I want to try next.

Sometimes I think "SAA" stands for
"surviving an alien".

LOL!!! Thank you for making me smile and laugh! I needed that....

What reason do WS's have for wanting to hurry and D?

That would technically still fall within Plan B, but why would you forward them? Anything sent directly to you, to the place where you have told him you won't read anything, is a bit like sending letters to an old address.

Nobody would send important letters to an old address. But you might if you wanted to 'test' whether what you were told was the truth.

It's a safe assumption that there is nothing in future letters except the words TESTING, TESTING, 123. Or Perhaps - DANGER, FOG AHEAD - DO NOT READ ON.

So why forward those? He has proper ways to get in touch for proper messages. You dont need to forward on his tests.

I also think you are just paying the letters too much respect (assuming they might be important, planning to forward them) and you need to find a way to excorsize them, much like ghosts.

I found it highly satisfying to just dump them in the trash but I appreciate that might not be everyone's way. (Plus there is atemptaion to fish them back out and read them if you feel a bit weak later on. So unless it truly is your thing, or you dump a leftover casserole on it immediately, don�t do this)

Hoping was having some trouble in her reponse to letters, so I suggested the following



She liked the wish idea and decided to do it now, burning any letters that arrive separately.

Figure out what it is that tempts you and turn his own weapon back on him.
.

For Hoping, she was always made to feel guilty for not dancing to her H's tune, so I thought the burning would be empowering.
His guilt-trips would then be burned along with her own wishes. What he wants doenst matter in Plan B, its all about her.

Well, the IM needs to factually tell WH that Star got the letter, didn't read it, all important financial messages need to go through IM or attorneys.
The IM can add that should WH ever end his affair and choose to recover the marriage he can let IM know so that she can pass that message to you.

That way he will get the message you are not reading them and all info goes through IM or attorney.

Otherwise he thinks he is communicating with her whether she responds of not.....

Set a clear boundary marker via IM reinterating the deal.

Also, don't be there that evening just in case he tries to push your boundary.

He's been told a number of times that Star won't read or acknowledge direct contact. After a few warnings, silence is the best method.

WH had his attorney mail my attorney a letter that he needs a key and to have access to our home. Can't reach my attorney or get an answer as to what I'm supposed to do. Frustrating!

OW#1 called me today from her BH's phone telling me to never speak with her WH again and accusing me of EA with her husband... lol! We only communicated to get the facts about our lying spouses. Sorry my dear, I know what healthy boundaries are!

She told me that WH emailed her that we are getting D, forget the NC letter and asking her if they could still be friends. She said she responded back. I told her that she is a liar, just like him as she promised NC to me. Told her that they are all a bunch of liars and deserved each other. I told her she could have him! I deserve so much better and moving on with my life and good luck with your M. BYE! Click!

You aren't supposed to do anything. A lawyer has told you something your H wants. Um, so what?

Just email your lawyer to send an appropriate response. You aren't witholding any property from him, you simply don't want to see a cheater. That's not illegal!
Oh and get them to tell Mr Wayward's legal lackey to deal with THEM in future and to not send you distressing letters.


How did an OW get your phone number?

Although I liked hearing about you telling her off, you got a lot of information from that discusion.

Information from wayward-land prevents your plan being dark.

Next time a skank manages to reach you on the phone, don't let her speak and say: "I'm sorry, I don't speak to adulterers, my time is too valuable and I have to go paint my toenails now." Click!

For a WH I would recommend a simple Click! with no words

Ah I see now. As if she hadn't ambushed you enough already!

How do you know WH's attorney sent a message to your attorney since you are not able to talk to your attorney about it?

Did an assistant message you the office got the message?

That is confusing to me.

Do nothing about the key until you and your attorney discuss. Meanwhile, relax!

The assistant mailed me the letter and I received it on Saturday.

Hmmmm I think her BH needs to know what she did. It sounds like WH is still in contact with her and her BH needs to know. Her BH needs to know she broke contact.

I know you're supposed to be in Plan B, but you engaging with her broke that. She took her BH's phone and messed with you. OW are very low and sneaky. I'm sure she's still in contact with your WH.

My attorney is out of the country and won't be back until next Monday!!! The assistant is trying to reach her.

So you have a whole week to do your nails multiple times over and not think about a silly key...........

lol! His attorney said he can get a locksmith per the letter.

And you can turn around and do the same thing if he changes the locks