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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293 |
Shooting for tomorrow since I will have them for father's day.
She hasn't answered yet.
Cleaned up most of the house today before I went to work.
She is living with her parents at the moment.
Seven year wedding anniversary is in nine days. This really hurts.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 180
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Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 180 |
Just want to jump in here. I told my DS3 that his Daddy didn't love his Mommy (me) anymore. That this made Mommy very sad. That Mommy hopes that one day Daddy will love Mommy again. He said, "I'm sorry you are sad Mommy. I love you Mommy." So during my weaker moments when I cried, he knew why and often expressed that. Otherwise he used to think he was making me sad and I didn't want that.
TinT--Trouble in Texas
Me: 40
Husband: 38
Married for 17 years
Together for 20 years
DD15
DS13
DS4
H's EA discovered 1/1/12
Caller on radioshow 5/8/12
Been in counseling with SHarley since 5/17/12
On the road to recover my marriage
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Did you ever write Dr. Harley ? Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. Here are some more clips I want you to listen to. Tell me what you think. Please listen to these excellent radio clips of a BH and WW living apart and what Dr. Harely advises him to do. Radio Clip on a BH Plan Aing his WW from afar Segment #2 Segment #3
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293 |
Just told my DS5 what was going on and he cried like a five year old should.
It was a good father's day overall except for this morning when I found out my ww wife saw the other man on June 4th. He posted a picture of them laying together on his FB page. My cousin is sending me the picture. I just trying to figure out who had my kids because I didn't have them. This is going to be one long marathon.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Just told my DS5 what was going on and he cried like a five year old should.
It was a good father's day overall except for this morning when I found out my ww wife saw the other man on June 4th. He posted a picture of them laying together on his FB page. My cousin is sending me the picture. I just trying to figure out who had my kids because I didn't have them. This is going to be one long marathon. Weren't you trying to get an order together so that OM can't be around your kids? Doesn't he have a record?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293 |
Yes I was. I was stupid and thought it was over between them. I am calling my lawyer in the morning. I hope and pray my kids weren't there but if they were this will be a major strike against ww if she doesn't want to work it out and this makes it to the courts.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Yes I was. I was stupid and thought it was over between them. I am calling my lawyer in the morning. I hope and pray my kids weren't there but if they were this will be a major strike against ww if she doesn't want to work it out and this makes it to the courts. Good job on finally telling DS5 the truth. Happy Father's Day. It is a strike against her. She's an addicted wayward. You will have to start protecting your kids. She isn't being a mother when she's running around with an ex felon and putting her kids in danger. Protect your kids.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293 |
Haven't heard back from the lawyer yet, I think he was in court all day today.
With the information I found out today I will be trying to get the posom arrested for trespassing since I found out he came to my work place while I was on vacation and this is after I sent him the message warning him.
Also WW sent me a text tonight stating since I'm living in the house that I can pay the bills.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Haven't heard back from the lawyer yet, I think he was in court all day today.
With the information I found out today I will be trying to get the posom arrested for trespassing since I found out he came to my work place while I was on vacation and this is after I sent him the message warning him.
Also WW sent me a text tonight stating since I'm living in the house that I can pay the bills. Can you go to the cops and file a RO? Is her name still on the bills? Then she's responsible for half.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293 |
Her name is on the mortgage and the car. Those are the two main ones I am worried about getting her to pay.
I am going to look into that today if I can't get him arrested for trespassing.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293 |
Haven't heard back from the lawyer yet, going to call him again tomorrow.
My WW told me that if I'm living in the house then I can pay the bills. How do I go about telling her that she is welcome to come back home without sounding demanding or needy.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Send her a pleasant note saying
We're still married and I'd be more than happy for you to move back into our marital home.
Or
You're more than welcome to come back home.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293 |
Lawyer finally answered back. He said that I can't force her to pay any of the household bills unless we go to court.
He also said since it has been a week since the OM was in there he wouldn't have him arrested because now it would look like revenge.
Now I am beside myself trying to figure out how to pay the mortgage on the house. This is going to be tough.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Document everything.
Can you file for a request for financial assistance?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293 |
I can look into financial assistants. If I didn't have a car payment I probably could swing making the mortgage, light bill, water, cable, security system for house.
Thought about taking the car to ww's parents house and dropping it off and telling her she can make the payments on it. I do have a truck I can fix and it is paid for.
How would I document this. Would it be considered abandonment even though I don't have the kids.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Date it and just the facts and leave emotion out of it and only facts. DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT Maybe you need to file to protect yourself financially. WW are known for sapping BH financially. Remember filing doesn't mean you have to complete it.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293 |
Would you send the note a handwritten note or would a email suffice.
Two days till anniversary.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Would you send the note a handwritten note or would a email suffice.
Two days till anniversary. An email should suffice. Are you going to talk to your lawyer about financial assistance? Can you plan to be with your boys on that day and do something really fun? Do not be alone. Can you do this?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293 |
My mind is going about a mile a minute thinking about tomorrow. I want to send my ww a message about coming home to the marital house. Should I leave it at that or should I try and apologize for my part that went wrong in the marriage.
I have also noticed with my snooping that she has stopped Texting the Georgia number she was Texting. This stopped two days after I moved back home and she moved out so I don't know if this is a good thing or bad.
Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
My mind is going about a mile a minute thinking about tomorrow. I want to send my ww a message about coming home to the marital house. Should I leave it at that or should I try and apologize for my part that went wrong in the marriage.
I have also noticed with my snooping that she has stopped Texting the Georgia number she was Texting. This stopped two days after I moved back home and she moved out so I don't know if this is a good thing or bad. Haven't you already apologized for your part?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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