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So don't listen to what she says...hate, no love, divorce, date...I know it is all so conflicting and sometimes a hear a faint hope?
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should I fwd that Snoop piece to her...feels like I best do everything opposite to what I would do? She can't believe I'd do that
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should I fwd that Snoop piece to her...feels like I best do everything opposite to what I would do? She can't believe I'd do that If you can afford the coaching center they will give you a plan and they will coach with you and your DW. Do not bring up divorce again. If you're trying to save your marriage you need to be the man she fall in love with when you were first together. You can go to her an apologize for your half of the deteriorating marriage. Be specific. "Honey I'm sorry for the verbal abuse and disrespectful judgments that you have had to endure. I will not commit them again." What are her top EN?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Conversation and Honesty/Openness are her big ones
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Conversation and Honesty/Openness are her big ones Ok good. Do you know how to have IC with her? Conversation is Boring You need to go to her and tell her the truth about everything you've lied to her about. I will be busy for a bit so read and study everything you can on this website. I'm sure others will be along soon.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I know I cannot ASK anything of her...she has made it clear that she had to SEE a real CHANGE in myself instead of the same insanity of abuse. She no longer blames me but herself! Not good
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She's asked me to give her space and time to heal...and instead I've been and worried will continue to be the emotional vampire...the one in my mom she (we) despise so much...the narc type
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I know I cannot ASK anything of her...she has made it clear that she had to SEE a real CHANGE in myself instead of the same insanity of abuse. She no longer blames me but herself! Not good This is where this program is the best. It teaches you to have the best marriage and teaches you how to be the best husband. You need to just put in the hard work. It can be done. There are many recovered marriages on here. You have "His Needs Her Needs"? That's another excellent book.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Also hit notify and ask the MODS to move this to Marriage Builders 101 board. You will get more traffic there. Welcome to Marriage Builders, btw. 
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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btw...my DS states that she'd have an easier time forgiving an affair than the emotional/verbal abuse I've dished for the last 20 years.
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btw...my DS states that she'd have an easier time forgiving an affair than the emotional/verbal abuse I've dished for the last 20 years. Well it sounds like you need to get to work ASAP.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Yes...how is MB diff than DB counseling?
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I really don't think I have a chance
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FYI -I did send the Notify to request board change.
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Yes...how is MB diff than DB counseling? What is DB counseling? MB coaches you to make the changes. Counseling talks about issues that aren't relevant to what's happened today. Read this. Coaching Center
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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DB is Michele Weiner Davis's Divorce Busters site. They offer paid counselling. It will be in line with their general philosophy, which includes the belief in "mid life crisis", and not disrupting an affair but waiting it out. I believe that what you found here years ago, called "fence sitting", Brainy, must have come from there. I don't know what it would say about non-affair issues like this one (maybe). ewh2085 - have you done DB coaching already? It sounds as if you have.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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No, I have not done the coaching. But, her book I credit to saving me last time.
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DB is Michele Weiner Davis's Divorce Busters site. They offer paid counselling. It will be in line with their general philosophy, which includes the belief in "mid life crisis", and not disrupting an affair but waiting it out. I believe that what you found here years ago, called "fence sitting", Brainy, must have come from there. I don't know what it would say about non-affair issues like this one (maybe) Gotcha. Thanks Suga.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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