Star. When the PD gets a complaint, they have to investigate. This guy is just going through the motions to cover his butt and be able to close the case.

Don't sweat it.

I told the detective that I am the real victim here, just trying to move on with my life. I don't have any desire to contact her or my husband. I exposed her on facebook and that it wasn't defamation, because everything I stated was true and I was only trying to put an end to the affair and protect my marriage, which is now in the process of divorce.


I don't feel I harrassed her at all. I did email her to ask for her version of what happened, but that was a while back and how is that harrassment anyway? She never responded.

It's a whole lotta nothing...

I hope so....I just don't need anymore stress in my life!
She's the one that harrassed, messed around with a married man and contacted him to come up to Boston for a visit. She is the one that is causing trouble...not me! This is ridiculous!!!

Makes me detest WH that much more....I cannot stand him for what he has done! He had made my life a living HELL! I'm not one to wish bad things on people, but I hope Karma takes care of the both of them! I just want to move on with my life....no drama! I still have his handwritten letter detailing every disgusting detail of the one night stand. I'm sure there are some missing parts, but I have it in his own writing and he named her. I have proof that she and my husband had an affair and that's ok....Now she's the victim? I don't think so....I AM THE VICTIM HERE AND NOBODY ELSE! Calling her a victim is just hysterical to me....

Why not offer to fax this hand written confession to the detective? She won't at all be able to blame you in any way as it's in your WH's handwriting. The detective may even get a little chuckle out of informing the OW what he has in his possession.

I just looked up the laws in MA and it states that adultery is a felony. I could have her prosecuted for committing adultery with my husband!

http://www.massbar.org/publications/section-review/2004/v6-n2/is-adultery-still-a-crime

Granted....the affair happened in Colorado, but she is from MA.
He's been to Boston for business, so it could've happened there too...I have no idea. I really think it might've been just in Colorado though. I think they met there for the first time.

I have not harrassed her in anyway, so this is just ridiculous! My blood is boiling right now.

Starfish, easy.

This simply means your exposure WORKED.

If it had missed the mark, do you think shed be making busy work for jobsworth cops?

No!

This means it hurt her and continues to hurt her.

Otherwise she wouldn't be lashing out in this laughable way.

Pats on the back for you are in order, I think.

The case is being dropped. He has copies of emails that she sent to him (fb) Dear family and friends of OW#2, which he states is incriminating evidence, but he has a huge case file and is dropping the case. He contacted the "victim" aka OW#2 and said that I agreed to never contact her again.

WH sent me an email at work and asked me, "What did you do?"

SERIOUSLY???

This is ridiculous! I wouldn't wish this additional stress on any BW/BH. I would definitely be cautious in the future with these exposure letters. I had to take (3) xanax today to deal with all of the stress of this. The last thing I need is to be in trouble with the law for two despicable dirtbags that decided to destroy the life of an innocent woman who was faithful, trusted and loved her husband with everything she had!

I cannot wait to get this divorce over with! I just want to be rid of him! The job is really stressing me out too and now I've had to supply him with a key to our home. He is supposed to be giving me a 12-24 hr. notice before entering the home. I'm not going to be able to keep anything personal at the house, notes, papers from lawyer, etc. I just want to get out of that house as soon as I can. I want to get on with my life. This is the most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life.

Karma will take care of WH and all of his whores....I'm done!

SF, take a deep breath and calm down.

First off, no detective can do ANYTHING about any FB exposure. Seriously. It is possible that OW is friends with this detective, I have seen that happen before. OW is purposely trying to rattle you. Don't let her!

Next, WH should not be able to email you, that's a hole that needs to be plugged.

My STBX has been making my life miserable in this divorce but he is blocked and I try to compartmentalize that part of my life as much as I can. Vent and then try to let it go and only worry about what is deemed a real problem.

If you don't plug up that hole and leave that job, I am sorry to tell you that this detective calling you is nothing compared to the hell that your STBX will most likely make your life if he can get thru to you....

Nonsense. The cop never had a case. That's why he's 'dropping' it. He's a jobsworth covering his backside like Pokerface said.

Its COMMON for OPs to contact police. My OW got laughed out the police station. They usually do.

Mostly cops do that, but occasionally you get one whose scared they'll get into trouble for not investigating..

So he's dumped the stress on you instead. Chivalrous.

Forget about him.

I hope you didn't respond to WHs email.

Why isn't he blocked?

I cant block him at work

This is BS! I can almost guarantee you that this "detective" is a friend to OW2 and called you up as a scare tactic. Incriminating evidence? Yeah, against her for the crime of adultery. You did nothing wrong. Period. Your letter was no crime and that detective knows it. He told you that BS to scare you and to appease his friend. I wonder what would happen if you asked to go up the chain of command about this. I'm betting he would change his tune drastically. This is outrageous.

Agree with PM 100%. I am trying to remember the other poster w/n the last year this happened to. It was almost this exact same scenario....

I contacted my attorney and she said the same thing...that it was probably a friend. She told me not to answer any more questions from the detective and to let him know that he could contact my attorney. She isn't very happy! I doubt he will call me again. I wish all of these psychos would leave me the hell alone!

The pastor from the church called me back and is going to call me tomorrow about setting up a meeting. He asked me a lot of questions about WH and if he was attending church with another woman. I told him no, but he is still committing adultery AND attending church. I should hear back from him tomorrow.

I wish I had never met him. He is the reason that all of these psycho bitche$ are in my life. Why can't they just leave me alone? Did they all not inflict enough pain into my life already? Do they really need to twist the sword deeper into my heart? What is wrong with people? What did I do to deserve all of this?????

Can you talk to your HR about getting your WH blocked from your email addy? Let them know that you wish to remain professional in the workplace, and by blocking your WH, you can maintain that professionalism. I still think you should get a different job.

I'm not able to block his email for many different reasons, but the main reason is that he accidentally gets some of my emails because our last name is the same and the first letter of his name comes before mine in the alphabet. It doesn't happen very often, but still happens and if I don't receive these emails from other co-workers and respond, there could be a huge problem with one of my customers!

This was the first time he has emailed me since I've been back.

I'm starting to agree with you about the job situation. I'm trying my best to tough it out, but it's difficult on certain days. My co-workers think I'm doing amazing and nobody wants me to leave.

Your co-workers may think you are doing amazing, but we know how much better you could be doing without being exposed to WH or OW.

It's a death by a thousand cuts. Your life, your choice. You can't be in Plan B when you have contact, even visual with your WH.

Agree with Scotty.

WHen I read the above post, the thought I had was: Those feelings have more to do with not being in Plan B than they have to do with WH...

You can't change the past, but you can control the present and the future....