star, you knew this would come sooner or later. First off, serious

Please start listening to Scotty and indie and follow them to the letter. They've been calling all this from the start and haven't been proven wrong once. I'm not a Plan B'er by any means, but I've seen enough from those 2 beautiful ladies to know that when they speak, you should listen, and implement. They're right, you're KILLING yourself with all this info that makes no difference whatsoever in your personal recovery. I know that temptation that you have (BTDT) but it serves no purpose other than to destroy you just a little bit more. Separate yourself from this. You don't need it and you certainly don't deserve it. Protect yourself.

God Bless and more hugs to you.

Thank you and I agree with you! I'm doing my best, but it's some days to feel so empowered, ambitious and strong. There are still days that I want to curl up in a ball and die, but then there are other days that I tell myself I CAN GET THROUGH THIS! I have to remind myself of this every single day! My WH was too far gone for any plan to work in my opinion. I'm not sure if he will ever recover, but I remind myself that I will! Have I made mistakes...? Yes!!! Am I going to make more mistakes? Probably... I'm human. I'm doing the best I can every hour of every day and I'm so thankful to have support, advice and guidance. The D process is very difficult though...

You should be able to re-route his work email through your outlook directly to the SPAM box though. Try it out. Bet it works.

I hate D paperwork too. Grown up and depressing homework. I bribe myself to do it with treats.

I think you're better off without inlaw contact. She in particular is such an enabler, itd drive you crazy.

I agree with you Indie. I probably should've ended the contact myself, but I'll just let their whole family lie, cheat and abandon. I'm withholding my morals and values and staying true to me.

Better things are waiting

I sure hope so Indie!!!!

My best friend just sent me a copy of a letter to WH that she sent. She said it was something that she needed to do... Probably won't phase him, but she said she needed to get this stuff off of her chest.

WH,

I debated for a long time whether or not I should write this letter. I don't have any expectations of your reaction, truthfully, I hadn't considered it. �Ultimately it comes down to what needs to be said.

Have you ever meditated on how many years of BW's life you wasted? You have many things to repent for and feel bad for, but I believe this one has slipped through the cracks....

You see, all these years that you pretended to be married, all these years that you lead BW to believe that things were hunky dory...well, those were all years she could have been building the family she so desperately wants �with a man who truly loved her.

Shame on you. Shame of you for being an empty shell of a person who inflicted his will on someone else. Shame on you for playing with BW's heart so recklessly. Shame on you.

And now you want to add insult to injury by playing dirty with divorce. What is wrong with you? Have you never considered what you owe her? Let me spell it out for you. You faked your vows. You faked your marriage. You cheated. You introduced horrible people into your life that are now filing harassment charges?? Are you out of your mind?

How should she feel WH? How would YOU feel if you found out she turned to another man, had sex with him and then lied and lied and lied? What kind of pain and betrayal would you feel realizing you slept with her every night and never truly knew her? She will carry this with her for the rest of her life. The scars you have provided her with will never go away.

Let me ask you one question and please think long and hard before you answer it. What did she do to you?

Before your knee jerk answer, let me remind you that whatever you felt during your fertility battle and the circumstances around it, BW never turned to another man. Not emotionally and certainly not sexually. You cannot begin to compare your transgressions to hers.

So what does she deserve? How about an attempt at an amicable split? She does deserve half, dude. Get over it. At the end of the day, YOU walked down the aisle. No one put a gun to your head. So even if you disagree with everything I have said, you cannot argue that.

Put your weapons down, be a man and own up to all the [censored] you caused.

In the end, it will be far less painful.

Friend of BW

Nice that your friend has your back, Star. That support is very important at this time.

But you do know that the letter will be read through your wh's filter, right? He can only see things from the perspective of his wants and needs and no one else's. His actions throughout your ordeal have been atrocious. He continues along his wayward path without remorse or the slightest intention of changing. This letter will not create a change in him, though its good that he got a stern lecture from your friend. He deserves a lot more of that.

Continue on in plan B and be glad that his poison is leaving your system.

Good friend. Darned good one.

She is an amazing friend! I love her very much and am so blessed to have such a wonderful person in my life. She has been there for me throughout this whole mess and has always supported me, listened, given advice when needed and has always been my protector and always has my best interest at heart!

She told me that she doesn't expect him to respond, she did it more for me, but it was something she had to do!

I'm just so ready to move forward, but I still have a lot of d papers to complete regarding assets, etc. it's HARD WORK! I've been procrastinating...

Bloody good friend.

Give her a hug from Indie

WH responded to her and said, "You probably should not have written me."

She let me know, because she said it sounds like a thinly veiled threat and then she said I honestly don't see how what I wrote could hurt you but I'm sorry if I caused more problems.

That's the unfortunate of trying to educate a wayward.

Yes, that's what I was thinking too. I think she's feeling bad, because she thinks it sounds like a threat.

I don't see what he could be threatening?

She didn't threaten or harass him. He's probably just trying to blow smoke.

I agree. I told her not to put any weight into what he says.

lol... Oh, I see now he responded to her first sentence of the letter, which said, "I debated for a long time whether or not I should write this letter."

His response, "You probably should not have written me. "

This is the only part of the letter that he didn't have to fog out... lol!

I was thinking the same thing when I was reading it.

"This a fantastic letter but he probably won't get past the first line".

Tell her not to worry.