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She wants to improve the odds of a successful relationship with OM by studying MB concepts.

Similar story-lines?

Vlad "The Impaler" Dracula wants to study first-aid.

Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lector wants to study vegan cuisine.


But by all means, we'd LOVE To welcome her here!!!

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Originally Posted by NeverGuessed
But by all means, we'd LOVE To welcome her here!!!

Oh yes, by all means!! [Linked Image from cheesebuerger.de]


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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WW leaving the end of the week.She is moving to be with the OM.I am forced to go from plan A to plan B now.But I am so worn out I cant even get myself to write that plan B letter.I dont want to write a letter saying I still love her when I dont think I do.She got physical few days ago and slapped me.I think I have finally detached myself emotionally.I hired a lawyer to file adultery charges at the OM but am thinking of withdrawing to save myself the legal fees.People keep telling me it's not my wife hurting me but the alien that took her but I've struggled for almost 5 months now and there is no sign of my real wife coming back.
She just told me she has been going through depression but I can hear her singing and laughing in her room right now.

Last edited by xtremepain; 07/02/12 09:33 AM.
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XP,

She got physical few days ago and slapped me...but I can hear her singing and laughing in her room right now.

She is in a state of denial about the impending explosion of her relationship with OM, deep down she understands it is already dead. Help her leave as much as possible, this will hasten the course of nature.

God Bless
Gamma

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No.
It is my understanding that Dr Harley does not advocate helping the wayward spouse move out.
Let her move out on her own.

Just copy the plan B letter from Surviving an Affair.
You are in plan A until she leaves.
Then EVERYTHING changes.
Be polite and living until she leaves.
If she slaps you again call the police

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You think I should still give her the plan B letter even though theres not much desire to R ?

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My thought is give her the plan B letter to give her a direction home if the situation ever clears up. But once you are in plan B, it's not about her anymore, it's about you getting away from the drama and taking care of yourself. Cutting yourself off from her completely. It's about you calming down your life and getting YOUR business in order, with or without her.

Do you have everything in place for plan B as soon as she leaves? And IM chosen and set up? Ready to change locks on the door? Ready to block e-mails, change phone numbers?

I was also curious a few pages back reading how adultery is against the law. I never new that; I thought in one of Dr. Harleys video it says adultery laws went out 20 years ago. Maybe you are outside the U.S.?


BH: 35
WW: 28
No children. Married 4 years.
D-Day (month?): Apr, 2010. Jan, 2012. May, 2012.
Plan A: Not sure; since marriage counseling began Jan 2012?
Plan B: 6/23/2012
No contact letter: 7/5/2012
Currently in recovery, and thankful to everyone here.
jah #2641625 07/02/12 11:42 PM
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She is moving back to her home country.I dont have IM chosen.
I am outside of U.S and adultery is a criminal offence in her home country where the A took place.I was reading your thread and would strongly recommend you to file charges.Dr Harley is a huge advocate of lawsuits in the case of adultery.He recommended that I sue the OM.

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Originally Posted by xtremepain
She is moving back to her home country.I dont have IM chosen.
I am outside of U.S and adultery is a criminal offence in her home country where the A took place.I was reading your thread and would strongly recommend you to file charges.Dr Harley is a huge advocate of lawsuits in the case of adultery.He recommended that I sue the OM.
Are you going to sue OM?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Hi BH,

I retained a lawyer and provided him with all my evidence.I got a loan to pay the legal fees but am now vacillating about it.Whats the point if I dont think I love her anymore?

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Originally Posted by xtremepain
Hi BH,

I retained a lawyer and provided him with all my evidence.I got a loan to pay the legal fees but am now vacillating about it.Whats the point if I dont think I love her anymore?

Hi XP,

I was wondering how you were doing, my friend.

How about it's because you'd be taking a stand against adultery? It will teach them that's it wrong what they're doing to two families. If you have a lawsuit against them it will cause them so much turmoil in their lurve nest.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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BH,you are right,it puts a smile on my face when I think about all the chaos and he77 the lawsuit could bring to their fantasy land but at what costs?WW slapped me few days ago and that was the last straw.We were arguing and she got physical.I wanted to hit back and throw her out of my home.I immediately prayed to calm down.Otherwise,I would have done something I would regret. Dr H does recommend suing and said of all the cases he counseled ,lawsuits always ended the affairs.Thats why I went ahead and hired a random lawyer I found online.I've been communicating with the lawyer for several weeks online.I have told him to just hold on .

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Originally Posted by xtremepain
BH,you are right,it puts a smile on my face when I think about all the chaos and he77 the lawsuit could bring to their fantasy land but at what costs?WW slapped me few days ago and that was the last straw.We were arguing and she got physical.I wanted to hit back and throw her out of my home.I immediately prayed to calm down.Otherwise,I would have done something I would regret. Dr H does recommend suing and said of all the cases he counseled ,lawsuits always ended the affairs.Thats why I went ahead and hired a random lawyer I found online.I've been communicating with the lawyer for several weeks online.I have told him to just hold on .
Good I'm glad you are going to sue OM.

Did you report her physical abuse? I would go down and make a report with the police.

Her AO and abuse is intolerable, my friend.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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I havent decided to sue or not,BH.I am not sure if its still worth to save whats left of the M.

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Originally Posted by xtremepain
I havent decided to sue or not,BH.I am not sure if its still worth to save whats left of the M.
Then what do you have to lose if you file the case?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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I lose $$$.I took out a loan for the legal fees.WW is going to leave me with loans we took out together but in my name.She used my credit card and rang up lots of bills just before she is about to leave.

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If you are truly done with your serial cheating wife then don't file the lawsuit and go further in debt unless it will help you in your divorce lawsuit.
Have you filed for divorce yet?
You need to make sure you are either (a) Done with her and ready to divorce her and never see her lying cheating sorry persona again or (b) if there is any doubt then sue and enter Plan B

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As the date of her moving out is approaching ,I thought I would have a nervous break down.But the Lord gave me peace.I also feel that I have somewhat emotionally detached myself. I ask myself everyday what you have asked me.Do I have any doubts?Will I regret?I dont know....but in a way,I am glad Plan A is over.No more disrespect,AO ,lies and secrets.
I havent filed for D yet.

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WW leaving is in 8 hours to be with OM.I cant bring myself to write that plan B letter now.Can I send her that letter on a later date?

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yes, you can send the Plan B letter to her after she has left.
It is probably best to.
I think you should just leave and come back after she's gone.

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