you know what they say: a happy wife = happy life

When it comes to making marriage fulfilling for a wife, the "when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" approach dominates the thinking of many husbands. In this time-honored line of attack, a husband simply does whatever his wife wants, in the hope that he'll at least have peace and quiet. But peace and quiet doesn't turn out to be that easy. In fact, the more a husband reinforces a wife's "ain't nobody happy" part of the equation, the more skilled she becomes in making him miserable.

The problem in this scenario that I've described is in the goal of marital conflict resolution. It's a win-lose goal that starts from the very beginning of courtship. When one spouse wins, the other loses. In the beginning, he's willing to lose so that she can win. But eventually he expects her to do a little losing so he can win once in a while. When that's not forthcoming, at least to his satisfaction, he tries to win without her consent by making decisions independently. That's another win-lose goal.

My position on conflict resolution in any romantic relationship is that whenever a couple has a conflict, their choice should not be between doing whatever he wants or whatever she wants (win-lose), but rather doing what they both want (win-win). They could avoid all of the unpleasantness I've been describing by simply accepting this basic premise.

My goal for husbands who want to make their wives happy is for them to limit their choices to win-win solutions to all marital conflicts. And I put a great deal of effort into helping them learn to achieve that objective. Why just husbands, you may ask? Why not put equal effort into helping wives? Well, I'd like to be able to put equal effort into helping both spouses, but I usually find myself focusing most of my attention on husbands because they're the ones who resist finding win-win solutions the most. Women usually seem to see the wisdom of it almost immediately, while it usually takes men a while longer to catch on.

So we never got to talk to Steve as our appointment was for 2:30 we kept calling every 10 minutes like we our supposed to. we called until almost 3:30 never getting through.
We had to stop trying because we had my cousins wedding to go to that started at 5. so it was frustrating not getting through as it is so hard for us to set an appointment due to our work schedules.
By the way the eye is feeling much better even though i can't see a darn thing out of it.

THANKS,
KISS

By the way the eye is feeling much better even though i can't see a darn thing out of it.

Letty,

Yes we did leave messages. My wife sent an email also trying to see if we can reschedule for Thursday morning. The hard thing is im a retail manager that works different hours and my wife works a state job that is 9 to 5. So on Thursday im off and see is trying to go in late. I will keep everyone updated.

THANKS,
KISS

So we had our session with Steve Harley on Thursday morning. It went very well but he gave me a lot of "home work" so im going to have to try to make some time tomorrow. Its going to be difficult as we are both off tomorrow. (A rare weekend day off for me so we try to do stuff together with the kids).