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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Quote
Bliss he already exposed and got the messages to send.
I posted too fast smile

Just watching out for you, my friend. smile


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Melo12 Offline OP
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I didn't go home last night as I was emotionally drained and wanted to get some sleep so crashed elsewhere. I will be home tonight but am surprised my phone isn't going off with her calls - hope they went through.

It is stupid to worry about this but I can't see how these two can make it. All the lies, deceit, distrust in starting this relationship. Any predictions how this will go?



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It will be interesting to see if your wife finds out about this. Because if she does, that is an admission the affairees are still in contact.

I am so proud of you for following through and exposing that rat! Good job! hurray


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Melo12 Offline OP
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Thank you ML - but she's not denying it, which is quite sad for me. He was the one hiding it from his wife. He is a very private and secretive person so am sure he wanted this to come out on his terms. I just hope the messages went through!



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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
It will be interesting to see if your wife finds out about this. Because if she does, that is an admission the affairees are still in contact.

I am so proud of you for following through and exposing that rat! Good job! hurray

Yes. Watch for this carefully melo.
If she becomes mad at you it will be because he called her and complained. My wife's boyfriend did that.
Have a plan in place to respond to a very possible angry outbursts from your wife over this.

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Melo12,

He is a very private and secretive person

Did you also check if he has a www.linkedin.com account, you will have to set up a fake account which makes you look like you are in the same industry as he is or are a potential customer.

God Bless
Gamma

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Actually mentally prepare a verbal response.

"Well, sweetie, if OM felt your affair was honorable and upstanding, he'd welcome my publicizing it. If he thought it was tawdry, dirty, and needing to be kept private because he's ashamed of you and your joint infidelity, he'd be upset. How DID he take it?"

Then offer her some lemonade.

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Originally Posted by NeverGuessed
Actually mentally prepare a verbal response.

"Well, sweetie, if OM felt your affair was honorable and upstanding, he'd welcome my publicizing it. If he thought it was tawdry, dirty, and needing to be kept private because he's ashamed of you and your joint infidelity, he'd be upset. How DID he take it?"

Then offer her some lemonade.


Yea do that Melo. When my wife yelled at me I would literally offer her some vegetable juice and talk about western movies.

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Mine freaked out and called her aunt for support....and her aunt calmly, bluntly stated "if you are unhappy with the consequences of your decision, then you shouldn't have had an affair."

I took my son son to his basketball game, and told my W we'd love for her to go with the family and if she wanted an iced tea.

I watched incredulously as all the vets were correct -- the crumbling of the fantasy, the beginning of the death of the affair was almost visible, tangible, you know?

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Melo12 Offline OP
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Great advice as I didn't think to plan for the fallout. I will be calm and cool as everything else has been an eruption. I guarantee she is going to say "it is no one else's damn business" which is how she has spun/justified this whole thing. She was pissed early on when I exposed to her best friend and now blames me since they are no loner friends after 11 years.

No on the LinkedIn account so hope his limited FB contacts are enough.

I also emailed the POSOM directly for "my closure" that they felt they needed this past weekend. I copied my WW so he couldn't spin it or talk how I am a scorned husband. It was super long and I let him have it. Am sure I will hear about that tonight from WW when I get home.



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Who said you need closure?
Dr. Harley?

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Melo12 Offline OP
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No it was sarcasm. My WW told me Friday that she needed closure and had to meet with him to talk. My email was titled "my closure" so he could hear what I had to say.

However, I've fought the battle for her and exposing was it for me. I've been manipulated and taken advantage enough; twice after I took her back. I have to set an example for my children and this has taken too much toll on me emotionally, physically, and mentally.



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Originally Posted by Melo12
No it was sarcasm. My WW told me Friday that she needed closure and had to meet with him to talk. My email was titled "my closure" so he could hear what I had to say.

However, I've fought the battle for her and exposing was it for me. I've been manipulated and taken advantage enough; twice after I took her back. I have to set an example for my children and this has taken too much toll on me emotionally, physically, and mentally.
But you're now ready to recover your M based on MB concepts. Are you saying you took her back twice after following MB plans?


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Originally Posted by Melo12
I also emailed the POSOM directly for "my closure" that they felt they needed this past weekend.

rotflmao


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Melo12 Offline OP
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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
But you're now ready to recover your M based on MB concepts. Are you saying you took her back twice after following MB plans?

No, I obviously didn't do it right to begin with. It was all happening so fast that I was in reaction mode. She met him in Jan, moved in with him in Feb and I didn't find this site until April. I only partially exposed at that time but she wasn't around for me to implement all of the other things.

She ended the A in June and I thought we were recovering and was implementing MB concepts. It was a false R and she broke NC so I'm fully exposing now.

However, I am only interested in keeping POSOM away from my kids which is why I am exposing. She is looking at places to live and trying to find a job. We are 3 weeks away from the D being finalized and I am moving forward.




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Will you be able to write something in your D decree to keep OM aways from your kids?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Melo12 Offline OP
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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Will you be able to write something in your D decree to keep OM aways from your kids?

I'm working on it, she is not going to agree to it but I am working with my attorney on this. I am hoping the exposure will also put a stop to this. That is all I can control right now and can sleep knowing I did everything I could to try and not only save my M but also protect my kids.



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Originally Posted by Melo12
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Will you be able to write something in your D decree to keep OM aways from your kids?

I'm working on it, she is not going to agree to it but I am working with my attorney on this. I am hoping the exposure will also put a stop to this. That is all I can control right now and can sleep knowing I did everything I could to try and not only save my M but also protect my kids.
Have you had any response to your exposure?



FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Melo12 Offline OP
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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Have you had any response to your exposure?

I fear it was not successful, after it didn't work the other day, I tried using my iPad where it looked like the messages were going through. When I sent a "test one" to a friend, he didn't get it. Ugh. I now fear all that time/effort was wasted but tried to start from scratch today and get the same "spam message" posted above on the very first person I try.

He has also (as has my WW) shut down their FB account. I know he is aware of this site so assume he is here, just not sure if he is following my thread. Can I move to plan B, locate their physical address and do an old school mailing?




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Have you had any response to your exposure?

Good question. Especially from members of her immediate family, a supportive (for you) reaction, gives evidence of future allies in the dozens of unanticipated future conflicts, whether or not the D goes through.

It also would be strategically sound to keep those "allies" informed about WW's ongoing efforts to damage her children's lives.

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