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Eat my own eyeball, hilarious but I get it

Yeah hiking is awesome as it is probably the best exercise, walking.

Getting to the time when you can get a walking buddy? Don't care what sex just as long as they have two brain cells to rub together.

You can push each other as your confidence and resilience grows

God bless Indie


Me 56 Former BS
Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years.
4 children
DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4
Me former BS
DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr
DSs 26 and 23
Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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I'm hiking with my girls tomorrow.

My friend who had a Dday with her fiance same weekend as my Dday. She's now doing Dr H's 'date at least 30 people' and the five tests of compatibility.

The other friend is the one who complemented my decision not to date.

Were doing Ben Nevis is August and have all gotten out of shape.

The betrayed fiance has hurt her ankle and the other friend will be fasting in August (she's muslim) so its up to me to be the fit one, god help us.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Who's Ben Nevis?
It doesn't matter, eat the meat of it and spit out the bones

So friend is Muslim? She must have a handle then on fasting and praying being also a great source of inner strength

I tend to think it's us humans that label God anyway, cuz we are afraid we might miss Him, or we might not respect Him in some way.


Chances are we will miss him at some point in time, but he allways seems to show up when we need Him. He defies Mans packaging by Mans law in all of mans religions.

"Man looks upon the exterior, and God looks upon the heart", has been my saying for a long time now.

I brought this up because I was reading a book by someone interested in
uniting Gods people and dispelling the negativity within religious belief systems since 9-11

So much was used to attack ppl from other cultures that really boiled down to fear tactics and control... Well you know the drill

Fear is always present and protects us from straying to far away from Gods care for us, no matter what name he is called by

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I know how that is. I took some time to look up beliefs of different religions and found that...the extremists are the issue.

Muslims, on the whole, are a nice bunch of people.

Mormons, on the whole, are also nice.

It's the extremists that make it awful for everyone else.


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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Ditto Karma

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Originally Posted by indiegirl
Just got an email from solicitor.

Date for my Decree Nisi is July 25. I can apply for the Decree Absolute just six weeks later and I'll be divorced, as long as financial stuff doesn't hold it up.

It's real. Got all weird and shaky, but ultimately, I'm relieved an end is in sight.
hug to you Indie.

Your future is bright.

Glad you have some Plan B treats for the weekend.


Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.

WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.

Plan B has set me free.

"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Originally Posted by indiegirl
Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
But I would like to think we understand one thing as men, and that is honor

He is the loser, The man is never supposed to be the quitter, or lie to manipulate female emotions, or soil his own countenance by giving into his weaker nature of his ego and fantasies

What kind, if one at all, is a man like that? Yes a soft one, a softlad

Yeah he doesn't deserve ya, and the sooner you put this behind you the better, because this one does not have the pair to really love and be accountable to love either.

You as many others here will rise above and transcend this blip on the radar of a great life

He will still be justifying his betrayal for years to come, the poor thing

I love this!
X 2, thanks CP!

Indie, I am envious of your tackling Ben Nevis! Hats off to you and your friends!!!

I miss the UK countryside and greenbelt trails. I have such happy memories of tackling Welsh and Peak District walks.

And finishing the day with a hearty pub meal to more than make up for the calories burnt. blush


Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.

WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.

Plan B has set me free.

"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Originally Posted by indiegirl
My friend who had a Dday with her fiance same weekend as my Dday. She's now doing Dr H's 'date at least 30 people' and the five tests of compatibility.
Where is this from indie?


Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.

WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.

Plan B has set me free.

"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Here Car.
Originally Posted by Dr. Harley
While my basic concepts would help you resolve your conflicts if you were to follow them, I am not sure that you're ready to make a decision now that would affect the rest of your life. My standard advice to singles is to date at least 30 people before marriage. Strange advice to some, because, like you, they may have already chosen the one they wanted to marry. But the reason I give that advice is so they come to understand what they need most in an opposite sex relationship. The ones that they find most attractive are those who meet some of their most important emotional needs.
Choosing the right one to Marry




FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Thanks BH. VERY interesting.


Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.

WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.

Plan B has set me free.

"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
Joined: Nov 2010
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Originally Posted by Caracal
Thanks BH. VERY interesting.
I know, right?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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hug to you Indie. Your posts remind us that this is a marathon not a sprint. You should be proud of what you have achieved so far, regardless of your final destination you have laid the foundations for a happy successful life.


Me 46yrs
WH 46yrs "Isildur"
Married: 22yrs 8mths
DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs
Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11
DD:26.11.11
WH moves to OW house 28.11.11
Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12
Plan B 27.4.12
D:20.7.14

"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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Peeps, does anyone know a nice bible phrase for a Christening card? My fiance friend is going to be a godmother and she's totally stuck.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12 NIV)



Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



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Perfect!


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Flights for India booked, soooo exciting!

We hiked up a steep hill, but we were so long in the travel agents we were only able to do an hour and a half job. Ben Nevis is seven hours! It's a month away today.

I am so out of shape. I went on to my parents wii fit today, was doing jack knives and yoga positions I used to do with ease - got nowhere. At least I still rock the hula hoop.

I think exercise is the key, my energy is back. Sleeping is back.I have put on too much weight since losing my wii zumba.

I've had a few not so nice flashbacks. I remembered that softlad and OW stepped outside just after midnight on NY Eve. I wonder why. I assumed at the time she was upset at being widowed on NY Eve.

I also remembered one time I didn't know where he was, called him and he said he was in the pub. Then I heard the voice of OWs little daughter in the background and I asked why he was lying to me. Still no clue there was an A!!

He was lying in front of children!!

He explained that OW had called on him as the kids were driving her nuts. And that the stress of not being very good with them had caused him to answer me wrong.

And I still didn't get it for months!!!

What was really good is that the memories came momentarily but didn't really affect me. They just struck me as slightly disgusting and I shook it off.

And the rain has stopped! Two days fair weather. Today is St Swithins Day and legend has it that if it rains on St Swithins Day it will rain 40 days and 40 nights. If it is fine, there will be fine weather to come.

Its often right. By mid July the jet stream that dictates the British summer weather is in place. Not that I really understand what any of that means.

Let's hope St Swithins Day legend starters knew what they were talking about. I can't take any more!


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Flashbacks to gaslighting sucks bigtime.







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Great verse, and BTWIt works too
Note it says honor, and that is not always mean obey.

Having been brought up with strict baptist ideals, this was a little tough for me, because my father was a little unbalanced when I was growing up. Thank God the rest of the family knew it

Doing what your told was always what o did to please my Dad, but it was hard just the same, because wearing flood pants to school, and modeling myself after a man who never took showers, cause he didn't want to waste water...And someone who had no life except to work 24-7....

Well that and keeping my grades up, and wanting to please him. let's just say it was impossible

But honor and respect he still had, and still has, as when I look at a task to be done, I know hard work and perseverance will triumph. With him there was no excuse, and I thank him for that

The apple doesnt fall far from the tree, but it is a different tree that grows. Without the first tree there is nothing

Still want to honor my father in everything I do. That will be with me always and makes me who I am, and God help me if I ever lose that

But obey? Sorry Dad I had to take showers, and have freinds, and not be paranoid about money, and did not make myself slave to the almighty dollar. I have your support to thank for that also, don't think I forgot that for one second


Me 56 Former BS
Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years.
4 children
DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4
Me former BS
DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr
DSs 26 and 23
Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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Originally Posted by indiegirl
Flights for India booked, soooo exciting!
Ooooh, very exciting. Where in India? I have always wanted to go, please post some pics when you get back. When is the trip booked for?

Wow, sorry for the inquisition, it has been top of my list for a while.

Originally Posted by indiegirl
I've had a few not so nice flashbacks. I remembered that softlad and OW stepped outside just after midnight on NY Eve. I wonder why. I assumed at the time she was upset at being widowed on NY Eve.

I also remembered one time I didn't know where he was, called him and he said he was in the pub. Then I heard the voice of OWs little daughter in the background and I asked why he was lying to me. Still no clue there was an A!!

He was lying in front of children!!

He explained that OW had called on him as the kids were driving her nuts. And that the stress of not being very good with them had caused him to answer me wrong.

And I still didn't get it for months!!!

What was really good is that the memories came momentarily but didn't really affect me. They just struck me as slightly disgusting and I shook it off.
Same thing. My flashbacks are more often about the lies he told. His sister even sat him down for "the talk" and asked about an A. He said "wouldn't that be easier if it was just that". Gaslighting us all. GRRRRR!

I look back on the swagger and ego with repulsion. His actions don't hurt as much anymore, however the actions of people I thought of as family and friends do. I imagine this will get less with time as well, as I surround myself with people who have shown support rather than enabling.


Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.

WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.

Plan B has set me free.

"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
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Originally Posted by Caracal
Originally Posted by indiegirl
Flights for India booked, soooo exciting!
Ooooh, very exciting. Where in India? I have always wanted to go, please post some pics when you get back. When is the trip booked for?

Wow, sorry for the inquisition, it has been top of my list for a while.


The golden triangle for ten days; Delhi, Agra (Taj Mahal) Jaipur and then four days or so at the beach, Kerala or Goa. Looking at the pictures made me HUNGRY for travel. I've already written my packing list, and bought some lightweight clothes that will be useful cover ups. If you have any traveller tips I'm all ears!

Originally Posted by Caracal
I look back on the swagger and ego with repulsion. His actions don't hurt as much anymore, however the actions of people I thought of as family and friends do. I imagine this will get less with time as well, as I surround myself with people who have shown support rather than enabling.


I've been thinking more and more about how I would respond to a recovery offer. I want to be sure I'm 'done' before I divorce.

I am a bit amazed about how nonplussed I am. I would have thought by now that I would have one moment of love or longing or nostalgia of late, but no not one.

I do know that I have a 15 year old lovebank with his name on it. I know that he could reignite it with the proper actions. But its all very hard to imagine.

Even if he were on board with a full tilt recovery, I sort of see myself as more shrugging my shoulders and saying: "Took you long enough. No matter what you do, there are better men out there". He'd have to really work my top EN of O&H. And he's always been uncomfortable with true honesty. In fact his moving away and hiding from the truth is probably responsible for my frozen solid lovebank. It all seems like very much a lost cause and we need to get this D, ASAP.

I know that a dark Plan B is responsible for this aloofness and I am grateful.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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