Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 26 of 33 1 2 24 25 26 27 28 32 33
BrainHurts #2644913 07/11/12 04:27 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
Just a few hours, but she is up in virginia carry her nephew back home and she is staying the week. So she may not answer right away.

I have sent the mods a notice and asked them do I need to send the email again to the Harley's.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2644917 07/11/12 04:42 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by totally2confused
Just a few hours, but she is up in virginia carry her nephew back home and she is staying the week. So she may not answer right away.

I have sent the mods a notice and asked them do I need to send the email again to the Harley's.
Yes send it to the Harleys again. They were out of the country for a bit and just got back. So they probably have tons of emails to get through.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2644935 07/11/12 05:22 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
Another good show of a H Plan A'ing from afar, but keep in mind they don't think she's still involved with OM.

Tell us what you think.
Radio clip of Plan A'ing from afar
Segment #2
Segment #3


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2644998 07/11/12 08:21 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
Just got an email from JustUss2, she has notified the Harley's of my email so hopefully I will get a response soon.


I am fixing to listen to the radio clips you just posted and I think they might go along with my situation since I don't think my WW is with anybody at the moment. Not sure at the moment but I haven't seen anything out unusual on her Facebook or when I check the cell phone website for text messages. I think now I just have to get through to her to change her mind and work on the marriage.

This is one marathon I am ready to run.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2645034 07/11/12 10:41 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
BH, I think those last clips portrayed my marriage right to the tee minus the fact I didn't have an affair, but everything else was spot on.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2645036 07/11/12 10:59 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by totally2confused
BH, I think those last clips portrayed my marriage right to the tee minus the fact I didn't have an affair, but everything else was spot on.
Yes I thought it sounded like your situation (except you didn't have the affair). So what do you think about Dr. Harley's advice?

Hopefully you hear from the Harleys soon.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2645038 07/11/12 11:08 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
I think I am going to have to step up my game and show her that I can be the husband that she wants me to be. I am going to listen to the clips a few more times to make sure I fully understand.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2646582 07/16/12 07:25 AM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
Found out WW couldn't check her email in Virginia because her phone messed up and she had to reinstall everything back on it. She forgot what her aol password was.

In other things I am finding strength to fight for my marriage from a story about a co-worker of mine. Don't know if I should post it here so I want at this moment but lets just say I don't know if I could go through what he is going through. His situation is not an affair but in my opinion is far worse.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2646673 07/16/12 01:13 PM
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Well just remember there is a difference between fighting for your marriage and sacrificing yourself for your marriage. Keep your standards high

Jedi_Knight #2647021 07/17/12 04:11 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
HDW, there are only two things in my life that I would sacrifice myself for and that is is my two kids. I would do anything for them. It would be three things but my WW isn't one of them at this moment.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2647696 07/19/12 07:40 AM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
Trying to track a number with no luck. It is a number from Georgia but I think it is somebody here Florence, SC just spoofing their number.

I had a good friend call the number and she left a message saying she was looking for somebody saying somebody gave her this number to try and find them at. Well a guy called her back from the number and gave some number in Florence, SC to try and call. In my opinion if I didn't know the person calling and didn't know the people she was looking for I would have just told her I didn't know the people and the person that gave you this number must have gave you the wrong number. Plus why would somebody in Georgia give you a number for somebody in Florence, SC. This all very strange.

So with this knew information today is the day for full exposure to het friends and the people we both know at church. If she doesn't want to save the marriage then I will not be blamed for the demise of the marriage. She will have to accept the consequences of her actions.

BH, should I use the same exposure letter as before or change it up some.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2647891 07/19/12 05:43 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
Bump....


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2647911 07/19/12 07:11 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by totally2confused
Trying to track a number with no luck. It is a number from Georgia but I think it is somebody here Florence, SC just spoofing their number.

I had a good friend call the number and she left a message saying she was looking for somebody saying somebody gave her this number to try and find them at. Well a guy called her back from the number and gave some number in Florence, SC to try and call. In my opinion if I didn't know the person calling and didn't know the people she was looking for I would have just told her I didn't know the people and the person that gave you this number must have gave you the wrong number. Plus why would somebody in Georgia give you a number for somebody in Florence, SC. This all very strange.

So with this knew information today is the day for full exposure to het friends and the people we both know at church. If she doesn't want to save the marriage then I will not be blamed for the demise of the marriage. She will have to accept the consequences of her actions.

BH, should I use the same exposure letter as before or change it up some.


I would use the same exposure letter. What were you thinking of changing it to?

So who do you think this new number is? A new OM or the same OM?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2647926 07/19/12 08:20 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
I was just going to add some stuff about if they need evidence I can provide it. I will post my first exposure letter and see what you think.

As far as the new number I thought it could have been the same OM but with what happened last night I'm not sure. Fixing to do a new search on the number using a new company and see what I get.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2647928 07/19/12 08:25 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
My first exposure letter....

Dear friends and family,

I am writing you this message because you are an important person in the lives of my Wife and I. You may be aware that WW has recently asked me for a separation. I have since discovered that the reason for the separation is so that she can carry on her affair without my interference. She has confessed her affair to me.

WW continues her affair to this day according to my evidence. I believe in my heart that we can save our marriage if she would just end her affair and give us the chance to do so.

As our friends, I am asking that you use your influence with WW to persuade her to end her affair to work on our marriage. Our marriage can be salvaged if she would only end the affair. Please support her in doing the right thing. Please support our marriage.

I would so appreciate your support and prayers.

Warmest regards,

T2C


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2647939 07/19/12 09:04 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
Good. When are you sending these?

Is she still out of the house


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2647942 07/19/12 09:16 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
She is still out of the house.

Going through her Facebook friends list sorting out who I should send to. You know she has some of those friends that are just on there to have. I want to know you I am going to send it to so I can go through it with ease.

I know she will never feel the pain I have felt but it is time she owns up to what she has done.



Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2647943 07/19/12 09:18 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by totally2confused
She is still out of the house.

Going through her Facebook friends list sorting out who I should send to. You know she has some of those friends that are just on there to have. I want to know you I am going to send it to so I can go through it with ease.

I know she will never feel the pain I have felt but it is time she owns up to what she has done.

You need to expose ASAP. Put everyone in a list; family and extended family then friends and then acquaintances.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2647944 07/19/12 09:35 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 293
Working on it, also trying to find who this number belongs to.


Me (H): 34
Wife (W): 29
Two kids ages 5 and 3
Married 6 years been together for 14 years
totally2confused #2647945 07/19/12 09:44 PM
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
Dammit t2c, just do it! Quit wallowing in fear, and just do it. I would also include in your exposure the fact that he is an ex-con. As long as you have waited to do this, I can't see how it could do more damage than you have already done to yourself by your refusal to do this however many months ago.

Hate to say this, but you are your own worst enemy.


Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


Page 26 of 33 1 2 24 25 26 27 28 32 33

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (SadNewYorker), 298 guests, and 71 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,839 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5