Yes, this is what I wanted, and I had a pretty good idea how to achieve that, and I thought I was passing it along.

Of course, angry outbursts make you think insane and paranoid things, like blaming your wife for the state of your marriage, when it is you who have destroyed it by your infidelity and angry outbursts. Your angry outburst yesterday was a nasty attempt at blameshifting onto her. Your marriage can survive her temporary disrespect, but it cannot survive your permanent anger. Your marriage can survive her putting you out of the house, but it cannot survive your permanent anger.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5067b_qa.html

DITTO

Me three.

Me four

You were doing a great job Marcos!

I'm glad to see you passing it along. You have much to give.

This student is just not ready for what's being offered. "yet"

Thanks, HPB. I had a good teacher!

Totally agree markos.

You were/are doing so well teaching the concepts.


If you don't haves a student who wants to learn. How can you force them?

You know where to find this place again when you're ready.

And my hope is that you DO find your way back here one day soon.

Rome wasn't built in one day, how can you expect serial adultery to be overcome in mere weeks?

You can run, you can leave, but it doesn't fix your problems.

TRT,you HAVE to want to change and to CHOOSE to change the bahaviors that are destroying your family. These things you do won't work in ANY relationship!! Not with anyone worth their salt anyway. Can't you see that you are coming from a place of pride, ego, self centeredness in the things you are saying here? You don't need to protect yourself to this degree to the woman you married. It is YOUR issue that you can't just let go and trust, connect, have REAL intimacy!! That is YOUR problem. Face it, figure out why, own it, get help for it. Otherwise, really TRT, you will NEVER be good for AI.

x2 TRT you have had excellent advice from so many experienced MBers who freely gave their time to help your marital and personal recovery. I and fellow BS would love to have so many "quality MBers" posting on our threads. It's really sad you are not ready to take their advice on board and do everything to create a happy mutually satisfying marriage. You have an excellent opportunity (many BS & FWS would love that opportunity) to recover your marriage - a BS who was willing to work with you, MB principles and an amazing "support team" to guide you.

All the MBers who posted on your thread wanted to see you rebuild your marriage, they had no hidden agenda. They called you out each time you tried to transfer responsibility b/c they wanted you to succeed in rebuilding your marriage. You appear to be still focused on defending and justifying your actions. You do not appear to be ready at this stage to listen to or implement the actions needed to rebuild your marriage. I sincerely hope I am wrong and you will return with a genuine desire to recover your marriage.

You say your childern are your priority, I don't doubt you love them, but they are not a priority at this point in time. If they were you would show their mother the respect she deserves and be ready to show them and AI just compensation. You would do everything possible to help rebuild their lives and give them the security and stability they need.

AI has had to deal with the devastation of your affairs, the negative impact on your children, your AO and DJ. You posted here allowing her to believe you wanted to recover your marriage, yet you continue to control and manipulate. Your behaviour has now placed her in a position where she no longer feels safe posting on her own thread ... that is beyond words, that is simply cruel. MB is supposed to be a safe place where both BS & remorseful WS can come for advice and most of all support during a time of extreme emotional trauma. Your actions have sadly denied her that support. What can you offer her as just compensation? What can you do to help her personal recovery? Maybe re read your thread you will find the answers there.

I hope you will return, there are many MBers who are still willing to help you recover your marriage, if you are willing to do the work.

What happened to posting daily?

Nobody ever regretted doing the right thing.

One amazing thing we husbands sometimes do is blame our wives for the state of our marriage, and overlook our own contribution.

I have a sneaking suspicion you are still reading here, TRT. Many waywards who run away from the forum - and their problems - still do. Maybe you are looking for someone to come along and vindicate you for what you've done, or give you pity.

OK. I'll give you pity. I feel sorry for you. Yep, I do. Sorry, because you had a chance to live up to your name and do "the right thing." Of course, if you're never planning on making fundamental changes in yourself, if you can't see that as a wayward you are fundamentally broken, if you see nothing "wrong" with you that needs fixing, then maybe running away was the right thing to do for AI. She deserves better than what you gave her in your marriage. One day, perhaps you'll see that. It's likely, though, that by the time you turn and look at yourself in a mirror, by the time you actually see yourself for who you really are, it will be too late for you and AI.

And that's why I feel sorry for you.

This forum is full of success stories. Couples who took a marriage that to outsiders looked like it was headed full-on into the crapper and turned it around. I posted to you because I was drawn to your story. I posted because my little inner optimist saw possibility for your recovery. Unfortunately my little inner optimist is sometimes too stupid for her own good, but that's another story entirely.

So I'll leave you with this:


I'll give you something you can cry about
One thing you should try it out
Hold a mirror shoulder high
When you're older look you in the eye

If you ever decide that you have dug a horrendous hole for yourself, and would like to stop digging and get out,

I'm still here.

I had my wife sign a prenup before we got married. Now we are getting a divorce and she says that the prenup is not fair. I do not want a divorce but she has not stopped the divorce and has continued to carry it out. Should I give her what she wants which is half of what we made in the 8 yr marriage are should I give her only what she deserve? I still LOVE her.

Chadly, please start a new thread of your own for your situation, rather than posting on somebody else's.

Hi Chadly. I know someone is going to tell you to start your own thread as to not take this one over, and people can focus on your needs better on your own thread.

Legally, you only have to abide by the pre-nup. Morally and in the sense of fairness, that would probably not be the right thing to do.

Why did you have her sign a pre-nup in the first place? Why is she divorcing you? Until these things are answered, it makes it harder to give the correct line of questions and answers to get you on the right path.

I encourage you to read the articles about lovebusting and love bank withdrawals so you can begin to figure out what you might be doing to cause problems in your marriage. Open your heart and mind and allow the information here to soak in. Accept and own anything you realize that you might be doing that is bringing problems into the marriage from your end. The only way to make changes and better yourself is to own the problems first. You can only change yourself, better yourself. Maybe changes you make will help your wife to think about staying. It takes two to make the marriage - so one person didn't ruin it on their own. Start there. Also, start your own thread so we can address everything there in one place for you.

Is she cheating? Because if she is, I would make sure the prenup sticks and give her no extra funds with which to carry on her adultery.

Having your own thread is a really good idea.